exsilium | when one bypasses the brain [video]

[Billy is located in his garage, a number of shiny orb-like devices lining the walls behind him. There are a few gun-like shells too, though when questioned he'll be all too eager to explain that none of them are lethal.

He has the pale, bags-under-eyes look of someone who's hardly slept in a week. It's well earned.]

I've been thinking about the battle all week. And with what I know---or think I know---of the United Earth, I think I've committed an unforgivable crime. The UE citizens are guided from birth to hold certain opinions and aptitudes, slotted into their roles by a totalitarian organization pulling the strings, aren't they? If that's true, the soldiers never made an informed decision to fight against us. They were innocent, and...I murdered without acknowledging that. They never had a chance at freedom, and now they'll never have it.

[He hangs his head, drumming his fingers against the worktable.]

I know there's no penance for what I've done, no excuse that justifies it. Nothing will ever be enough. But to make it easier for others to fight without killing, I've been drawing up blueprints and making protoypes for some more effective non-lethal weapons. I understand if you don't trust me with them, or if you would rather develop them without me, but I'm willing to assist if you'll have me.

And before I end this: please don't think I'm passing judgment on anyone else about this. That world was worth trying to save, supplies were low. I simply allowed myself to cross a moral line I swore I wouldn't. I don't know how to live with myself, but I fully acknowledge that this is my own fault.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm something of an engineer myself, I wouldn't mind lending a hand with a project like that.

But mindless obedience or not, as admirable as compassion for an opponent is, that kind of thinking can easily get you killed.

I'd be glad. The more people we have on these projects, the faster we'll be ready. I know. I was killed for it. But it doesn't sit right with me.

I might have to get used to whatever technology you're using, but I'm pretty confident in my skill with machines. Weapons will be new, though.

I won't tell you how it should sit, that's up to you. But in a battle there isn't time to think about that kind of thing, and whether or not the person you're facing deserves to die. It's easy to second guess afterwards and demonize yourself, or your opponent, but fighting for your life isn't about morals. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

I'd be happy to show you. I've brought someone up to speed from the medieval era before, if you're familiar with that term? No, but being a hero is. That's where I failed.

It might have been mentioned in my reading, but not inherently, no.

You're a hero, huh? Sounds tough.

It is, but it's right. Anyway---what kinds of machines have you worked with?

I can't argue with having a strong personal code of responsibility.

Anything I could get my hands on, but the technology of my world is a little different than the stuff here.

Did you bring any of it with you?

Just a tool kit, no actual machines.

That could still be interesting! Do you want to discuss it sometime?

I'd be all for it.

Great. So when do you have time to meet?

when one bypasses the brain [video]

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