002 ↔ video

[5055034455]

[Saul's not a fan of using video on this thing. Anyone could be watching, and he's sure that's the case — which means he's about to show a hand of cards he never really wanted to — but he also knows he needs to come across as sincere and non-threatening as possible if he wants this request to be taken seriously. Text wouldn't work, voice... might, but also might not.

He still has his doubts, though. What he's about to do is ridiculous, even by his own standards. He'd laugh at anyone else making a suggestion like this, and he's half-tempted to laugh at himself, too, but when the feed clicks on and his image appears, he's all business. Literally: in a suit, at a desk, weapon laid out (for those who'd notice, the weapon is disengaged, the safety on; he's learning!), hands folded.]

This — [indicating the weapon, then lacing his fingers back together] — is a shotgun that's been modified to use non-lethal electrified bullets. The charge measures about 500 volts, and —

[There go his hands again, moving to retrieve one of the cartridges. He lifts it to the lens, waits for it to focus, then continues speaking.]

From what I understand, that should be enough to temporarily incapacitate a normal human being. But the problem is, I'm not sure. I've been using blanks on the dummies over in the Hold, so I have no idea what effect one of these things would actually have on a living, breathing person. So...

[He trails off, lowers the cartridge, and shifts uncomfortably in his chair.]

I realize how unorthodox and just plain sketchy a request like this is going to sound, but... who's willing to let me shoot them, and who's willing to be the medic present if-slash-when this happens? I'm looking for someone over eighteen, healthy, preferably human. I can compensate you with fifty doll—uh. Marques. Or we can negotiate, if necessary.

Serious inquiries only. Thanks.

Comments

[motioned]

[A pause.]

A shotgun can't stop bombs, you know.

[best logic]

[5055034455]

[...that actually is pretty decent logic, but this is Saul she's dealing with. He's stubborn.]

What if they decide to send troops in next time, instead?

[motioned]

If it were me, I'd try and find somewhere to hide if it were possible. I mean, if they go as far as to send soldiers here, I'd think they'd give them a little bit more to work with than non-lethal guns.

[5055034455]

[Congratulations, Ahiru! You're the first one to make Saul facepalm.]

[motioned]

...What?

[5055034455]

Please, kid. I'm tired. Just stop. I have a medic, I have a healer, I have volunteers. I've also had plenty of people try to poke holes in this already, and guess what — it hasn't worked. So.

[Shrug!]

[motioned]

[She sighs, pursing her lips for a minute before answering.]

I'm not a kid, but isn't there, like, a different way to check if it's electric enough or whatever you're doing?

[5055034455]

If you're under eighteen, you're a kid. And yeah, there are plenty of ways to check if it's "electric enough," but what I want out of this is to see its effect on a human body firsthand before I have to use it for real.

[motioned]

Seventeen is an adult in Canada! Close enough.

How would it be different from the way electricity normally reacts with a human body?

[5055034455]

Are we in Canada?

[Rhetorical question. Because he's been to Canada and this is NOTHING LIKE CANADA.]

I don't — what method are you suggesting? If I shoot it at an inanimate object, there's obviously no nervous system to mess up. What would be the use?

[motioned]

I was until a few months ago! Does this place even have a legal age? Whatever, I could drive a car if there was one around.

I don't know, I'm not a science person! But like, if there's a chance you're going to mess up someone's nervous system, shouldn't you make sure the healers or medics or whoever you have is actually good before this happens?

[5055034455]

[Wait. Canada?]

Siren's... something? Port? Was that it?

And yes, they have been properly vetted, thank you for your concern. Got any more questions?

[motioned]

[A beat.]

Uh, yeah, did somebody tell you that?

Yeah, I'm kind of curious why you didn't pick something that you wouldn't have to test on real people.

[5055034455]

Do you know Jesse Pinkman?

As for why I picked what I picked — [He just kind of squints at the camera for a second.] I'm not explaining myself to you.

[motioned]

[It rings a bell, but there's not enough familiarity for her to place it.]

Um, no, I don't think so. Why?

Okay, jeez, fine.

[5055034455]

Just wondering. He was there, too. And a woman named Lisbeth. And — Nill, I think it was.

[la la la 4ever butting into Jesse's life

And Saul's just going to let the jeez go, because jeez, that's what happens when he's tired of dealing with people and some poor sixteen-year-old comes along repeating everything he's already heard.]

[motioned]

Ah, yeah, I talked to a girl named Nill while I was here, but we didn't really know each other back there. I don't know anybody named Lisbeth, though.

But you weren't there, right?

[5055034455]

Nope. I'm new to this whole "getting kidnapped and thrown into a new universe" thing. How long were you there, and how long have you been here?

[motioned]

Two and a half years there, and here from the beginning of February, I think, so that'd be...

[She trails off to do the math before she answers.]

Just over three months. Why?

[5055034455]

Just trying to get some idea of how time works when dealing in matters of pan-dimensional abduction.

[Is that even a thing? That's not a thing. It sounds like a thing, though. Whatever.

For the record, his attempt to get "some idea" has failed completely. He doesn't understand it at all.]

[motioned]

It doesn't make any sense, it's weird. Nobody I've known in either world has been able to really figure out how it works.

[5055034455]

Figures.

[He sighs and runs a hand over his face.]

See, if this hadn't happened at all, I wouldn't be asking for someone to play target practice with me. So what's your story?

[motioned]

[She tilts her head slightly, staring for a second.]

My story of what?

[5055034455]

I haven't met a single person here who wasn't somehow magical or a caped crusader in disguise, so what are you?

[Actually, that's not entirely true, but it sure feels that way.]

[motioned]

Um, neither. I just went to a ballet academy in Germany before all this happened, I think that's a little more normal than being a caped whatever with magical powers.

[Which is a lie, of course, but she's not too keen on the idea of telling anyone too much about her, especially someone whose name she doesn't even know yet.]