002 ↔ video

[5055034455]

[Saul's not a fan of using video on this thing. Anyone could be watching, and he's sure that's the case — which means he's about to show a hand of cards he never really wanted to — but he also knows he needs to come across as sincere and non-threatening as possible if he wants this request to be taken seriously. Text wouldn't work, voice... might, but also might not.

He still has his doubts, though. What he's about to do is ridiculous, even by his own standards. He'd laugh at anyone else making a suggestion like this, and he's half-tempted to laugh at himself, too, but when the feed clicks on and his image appears, he's all business. Literally: in a suit, at a desk, weapon laid out (for those who'd notice, the weapon is disengaged, the safety on; he's learning!), hands folded.]

This — [indicating the weapon, then lacing his fingers back together] — is a shotgun that's been modified to use non-lethal electrified bullets. The charge measures about 500 volts, and —

[There go his hands again, moving to retrieve one of the cartridges. He lifts it to the lens, waits for it to focus, then continues speaking.]

From what I understand, that should be enough to temporarily incapacitate a normal human being. But the problem is, I'm not sure. I've been using blanks on the dummies over in the Hold, so I have no idea what effect one of these things would actually have on a living, breathing person. So...

[He trails off, lowers the cartridge, and shifts uncomfortably in his chair.]

I realize how unorthodox and just plain sketchy a request like this is going to sound, but... who's willing to let me shoot them, and who's willing to be the medic present if-slash-when this happens? I'm looking for someone over eighteen, healthy, preferably human. I can compensate you with fifty doll—uh. Marques. Or we can negotiate, if necessary.

Serious inquiries only. Thanks.

Comments

[5055034455]

I haven't met a single person here who wasn't somehow magical or a caped crusader in disguise, so what are you?

[Actually, that's not entirely true, but it sure feels that way.]

[motioned]

Um, neither. I just went to a ballet academy in Germany before all this happened, I think that's a little more normal than being a caped whatever with magical powers.

[Which is a lie, of course, but she's not too keen on the idea of telling anyone too much about her, especially someone whose name she doesn't even know yet.]

[5055034455]

[Great. A teenage ballerina is totally useful in a situation like this. GOOD JOB, INITIATIVE.]

I'd say so, yeah.

[He has the feeling there's something she's not telling him, but that has nothing to do with how she's acting or what she just said — that's just Saul's natural assumption about everyone. He's a little more inclined to shrug it off in this case, though, since she's so young.]

You wanted to be a dancer?

[motioned]

Well, I still do, this is like... A temporary roadblock, I guess you could call it.

[One that she definitely didn't expect to last this long, but that's how it goes.]

There's a studio here, so it's not like I don't get any practice.

[5055034455]

[He's not sure how to interpret that comment — does she plan on dancing here, or...]

Do you think you're going back home, eventually?

[motioned]

Well, yeah.

[But she's been questioning that more than she'd like lately, so she aims to change the subject.]

What about you, what's your story?

[5055034455]

My name's Saul Goodman. I'm a lawyer. No secret identity, no magical powers.

[motioned]

How long've you been stuck here?

[5055034455]

One month and three days, give or take a few hours.

[But he's not counting, no.]

[motioned]

That's not so bad. It's a good idea to keep the exact number of days, though!

[Hours might be overkill, in her opinion, but it's not worth mentioning.]

And nothing, like, completely horrible has happened in the last month, so I guess that's lucky. [As lucky as it can be in a world everyone entered against their will.]

[5055034455]

You think so?

[Because that's what prisoners do, Ahiru. With chalk. In jail cells.

Also WHY DID SHE HAVE TO SAY THAT. Saul almost looks alarmed.]

Never say that, kid. That's asking for trouble.

[motioned]

How is that asking for trouble? And I said not to call me kid. My name's Ahiru.

[5055034455]

You're going to jinx it, Ahiru. It's like — you're out in the middle of the woods, you're lost, something's chasing you, and some idiot in your party says, "Hey, it could be worse! At least it's not raining!"

And then it starts raining, because that's what happens when people say things like that.

[motioned]

Okay, first, I don't believe in stuff like that, and second, it's always raining here anyways.

[5055034455]

[FACE






desk.]

[motioned]

What? It is!

[5055034455]

[Muffled:] That's not the point.

[motioned]

Yeah, except the point is bad in the first place! Life doesn't work like that.

[5055034455]

[He looks back up at the screen, all deadpan.]

I have about thirty years on you. Come back to me when you're in your forties and try to say that with a straight face.

[motioned]

I'm not saying it's always, like, super happy and fair and great, but that doesn't mean that you can jinx the universe. I mean, I don't think the world can be like, oh, she said things have been good lately, better do something bad! I don't think the universe would pay that much attention to what one person said.

[5055034455]

[When the spaceship crashes into the apartments, Saul might laugh himself to the point of tears thanks to this conversation.

For now, though, he's just going to shake his head.]

Whatever.

[motioned]

[Most people would probably let it go there, but most people here are also (somewhat) mature adults.]

You're just saying whatever because you don't have an argument.

[5055034455]

[Oh, girl.

No you did not.

Saul, who passed the point of being fed up with this an hour ago, shrugs off his blazer and actually rolls his sleeves up.]

I'm a lawyer. You wanna argue, kid? Bring it.



[saul you idiot]

[motioned]

[That was very high on the list of reactions she wasn't expecting, so she pauses for a moment before starting.]

Okay, so like, how does it even make sense that saying at least it isn't raining is going to make it rain? Weather is all scientific and stuff, do you think science cares whether someone is glad it's not raining?

[5055034455]

Murphy's law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

[YEAH HE KNOWS THAT'S NOT A REAL LAW SHUT UP]