exsilium | 10 △ TEXT

hi, looking to get rid of the following. prices negotiable, or make an offer and ill consider it. First come first serve.

- book, "the planet of cakes". Mint condition. Really good read, i can only recommend it if you're into philosophy and interested in tales of cakey life struggles. 5✥

- two healthy houseplants, one's a cactus, not sure of the other. Leaves are kinda velvety with pink flowers. 5✥ each

- folder with farm animal porn. You can have this for free because i definitely dont have any use for it. Perfect for trolling people or something. Or whatever you wanna do with it.

- A funky toaster with a matching desk lamp. both work fine. 30✥ each

- almost fully stocked soda vending machine. various flavors including coke & coke light. seems to have a minor defect, if you push the button for orange it gives you lemon-lime for some reason. Otherwise working fine. Comes with the entertainment of wrecking it after its empty so you can get your money back, perfect stress relief alternative if a punching bag just doesn't do it for you. 150✥

- surprise fridge, fully stocked with various things, including but not limited to food items. Buyers must be of age. 200✥

- complete tea set for two persons. Has seen some use but still in pristine condition. Includes a number of flavors but the majority of teabags are earl gray. 25✥

- a painting of... i dont even know what that is so here's a picture. too deep for me to get it i guess. 20✥ if you want it.

- the best plush ever in good condition. just personally washed it too. not sure yet if i want to give this one away so if youre interested post an offer. if i dont like it i'll keep it, sorry.

(( ooc: feel free to hack, but all you'll find is that the post originates from an untagged device, and if you're unlucky enough you'll automatically download the following little flash animation running in an endless loop on your device, overriding any other applications. getting it to disappear turns out to be quite a hassle. And yes, the tea set originally belongs to Edgeworth. all replies will be anon unless noted otherwise. ))

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[On and off and more frequently than in prior days. She simply raises an eyebrow, then reinspects the plush, holding it straight out in front of her with two hands like it might come alive.]

I'll have you know I've taken down plenty of powerful alien deities from space before.

Edited 2013-02-26 10:01 (UTC)

But none of them were made of plush, I bet.

[ No one can fight against cute plush monsters and win Samus didn't you know.

Speaking of (not) tentacle beards, he's pretty much done with his, so he puts the razor away and runs a hand over his chin once. And look, even the mirror is still intact. ]

If you like them so much though maybe you want to keep Cthulhu.

[ On his way out of the bathroom and past Samus, he, of course, has the audacity to smack her ass like it ain't no big deal. ]

They might as well have been by the time I was thoug--

[SLAP. Ohhhhh Adam don't think you can just get away with that without consequence.

She slaps his ass back. Then she's going to try and play it off like that was also a causal.. ain't... no big deal... thing.]

I think you want to keep it. I didn't know you had a thing for tentacles, Adam.

[ Slapping and punching each other does seem pretty normal at this point, so Adam doesn't really think about it too much. He sort of expected being hit back though, and he just grunts at it. ]

I'm not the one wrestling with them on a regular basis.

[ But FINE if you don't want Cthulhu he'll take him back, stealing it right out of her hands. ]

But maybe I do. He'll be taking your place in my bed, then, I guess.

[ Ha ha yes he does walk towards his bed now to put the plush back in its designated place now. ]

Hey!

[HEY SHE LIKES THAT PLACE IN HIS BED oh god that was an abrupt and weird thought but yes she does in fact like coming over here and yes his bed is comfortable and lying next to him in it is indeed comfortable, even if there's no hanky panky involved.

Samus pouts at him but it is short lived. She makes her way over to the bed and throws herself in it, landing on her back with a bounce. Hopefully Cthulhu didn't mind that.]

Over my dead body.

[There might be the teeniest, tiniest smirk on her face.]

[ Oh no Samus stop being cute. And stop claiming the spot that was reserved for Adam's new best friend. He's honestly a little bit dumbfounded right now because he did not expect her to honestly care.

... Well, in the long run, he probably prefers a boob pillow over plush tentacles. ]

In that case, you might have to fight him for it.

[ Adam quickly climbs onto the bed but only to PUSH CTHULHU VIOLENTLY INTO HER FACE. RAWWWWWWWWR. ]

[That is something she didn't expect! There's only so much 'cute' Samus knows how to be and it's difficult to not oblige immediate fighting instincts the moment something is unexpectedly shoved in her face, even as benign as a plush doll.]

Wh--!

[Rolling around and unintentionally getting tangled in his bed spread is probably cute. Karate chopping his wrist is 1) probably not cute, and 2) she winces in pain because--clang--WOW THAT WAS DUMB TRYING TO KARATE CHOP AN AUGMENTED METAL WRIST.]

Oooooow...!

Edited 2013-03-01 21:32 (UTC)

[ ... Yeah that was a dumb idea, and her reaction as a whole really is enough to make Adam burst out laughing for a moment and you know, he doesn't do a hole lot of that either.

In the process of Samus futilely fighting an evil space dragon plush though Adam somehow loses it his hold on it regardless but that's okay since he's aiming for her wrist instead, anyway, before she hurts herself any more.

Her cute little struggle earns her an arched eyebrow. ]

A great warrior everywhere but the bed. Seems like I've found your weak spot.

[oh my god STOP LAUGHING YOU'LL MAKE HER POUT look she's pouting a little.]

Look who's talking.

[Okay pouting a lot now at that remark. If he's going to turn this into a bed wrestling competition she'll gladly oblige and gladly put him in his place. This seems to be a common occurrence, enough that she's completely comfortable in the familiarity of spontaneously getting touchy-feely with his body. Especially since they were in the privacy of his home.

She uses her other hand to recover Mr. Cthulhu, clutching him to her bosom protectively.]

I'm holding him hostage until you recant that blatantly false accusation.

[ ... At her bosom, you say. He eyes the plush, because guess what, that's his place. ]

You're saying I'm a liar. We both know that I always speak the truth and nothing but. Also,

[ It's amazing now deadpan he can sound saying that. Cthulhu can't stop him in either case and Adam also doesn't have to fight him, because he's aggressively shoving his free hand under it and right between her breasts, take that. Maybe he can get her to pout even more. ]

That place has already been claimed.

[ Nice try Samus. He's leaning down to press his lips to the corner of her mouth. ]

~~"everyone lies" she whispered, as an ominous tone shifted in the sound track~~

[And just like that Cthulhu pops right out of her bosom as Adam claims his spot. Claim was a term a warrior used--she used and had obvious distaste when it was used on her instead. Or rather, he'd have to earn his claim for her to accept it.]

You d--

[But she doesn't even get a chance to counter before his lips are on hers. She turns her head just in time to pull the corners of their lips more center and on target, if a little awkwardly.]

I think that's more than a handful for you.

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