Third Blood

[speakveryclearly]

[Though you may have gotten text responses from network user Kanaya Maryam before using that "hemotyping" and "quirk" marking her unmistakably as a Homestuck troll, this is the maiden exposure to her typing idiosyncrasies for the eyes of Exsilium as a whole, unlike her first two posts via video. Either her post doesn't lend itself well to a visual medium, or she doesn't want it to be lent to a visual medium.]

During My Indentured Servitude To The Initiative I Have Done My Best To Familiarize Myself With The City We Now Call Our Home
And I Would Consider Myself Perhaps An Appropriate Authority To Consult On Which Establishments You May Wish To Offer Your Patronage For Various Purposes
An Invitation I Extend To Any Of Our New Arrivals
Whom I Gladly Welcome And Hope Are No Longer Alarmed To Be Among Us

Unfortunately My Searches Have Thus Far Come Up Short In One Rather Specific Regard
Im Hesitant To Broach This Topic So Publicly But Having Tried To Handle This Deficiency Independently For So Long I Dont Think Its Possible To Find Any Other Recourse
My Question Is
What Would Be The Most Appropriate Place At Which To Purchase A Protrusion Hammock

[She's sitting in her bedroom as she types this, modestly dressed and just a little ashamed of herself. Maybe this isn't such a good idea - she could asked her roommates... who are modest as it is and might be too shy to define the Earth equivalent of this Alternian term for her; her human female friends... few of whom she'd feel comfortable imposing this on, and Roxy not deserving the embarrassment when Valentine's day is so close; or just a trusted adult. But that last thought is enough to make her snort, shake her head, and hit submit.]

Comments

text;

[drowns]

A what?

text; hello magical girl >8)

[speakveryclearly]

A
Protrusion Hammock
Meant For The Support Of The
Pectoral Protrusions

text

[redheadcarrier]

Maryam, what the hell is a protrusion hammock?

Is that some kind of weird troll equipment?

text

[speakveryclearly]

Its A Weird Troll Word But Im Pretty Sure Its Not Exclusively Troll Equipment
Although I Dont Know The Earth Word If Your Species Lacked Them Entirely I Would Be Extremely Surprised

[tipsygnostalgia]

a what what

[speakveryclearly]

Oh No Roxy Not You Too

[ text ]

[hostage]

Huh?

[ text ]

[speakveryclearly]

[Oh hey it's THAT GUY... keysmash she feels so bad about him being subject to this; he might not even know the secrets of his species' other sex]

I Might Or Might Not Be Talking About A Bra
I Dont Know Yet

[urnotafraid]

Buy a what? A thong or something?

[speakveryclearly]

Probably Not That

text;

[whatsupcroc]

Please tell me that is not the same as a banana hammock

I'm pretty sure those were left to never appear again after the 21st century

I'm hoping

text;

[speakveryclearly]

Um
I Have No Idea What Youre Talking About But That Sounds Incorrect From A Basic Geometric Perspective

[biwinning]

iif you really want a protru2iion hammock ii gue22 ii could arrange an undergarment piillage.

THOLLUCKTH........

[speakveryclearly]

Sollux No
I Dont Want Anyones Functional Undergarments To Be Lost
Ive Only Resorted To This Out Of That Deficiency And I Dont Want To Inflict That On Any Other Girl

[fintastic]

Kanaya, if you know of some neat places, you s)(ould tell me so I can add t)(em to t)(e guide!

But for t)(at, I can s)(ow you some places!
I know t)(is one shop, I bet t)(ey could s)(ow you )(ow to make t)(em.
You were always good wit)( t)(at sort of t)(ing!

[speakveryclearly]

Speaking Of The Guide I Actually Have This Friend Hilbert
He Asked Me To Recommend Him To You As Possibly Assisting With That Entire Endeavor

That Said Creating A List Is Actually A Really Good Idea
Im Going To Get Started On That Now Though It Will Take Me A While

→ video; private (I'm not sure if I'm sorry for this)

[controlledvariable]

[She's read most of the other responses, and gotten from "protrusion hammock" to "bra", but just to be clear she's - sitting on her bed, holding up a plain black t-shirt bra.

Hence that it's a private message. She's not showing the whole network her bra.]

You're talking about one of these, right?

IT HAD TO HAPPEN...

[speakveryclearly]

[She stares at her communicator over a dozen seconds before cautiously initiating a voice reply.]

...Yes? Yes, def--initely that.

[whomheloved]

[Well...she's not sure if Kanaya would want help from her. She's not even sure she'd so much as want to HEAR from her. But she can't not try.]

have you found anything suitable yet?
i could k33p an eye out around the marketplace perhaps

[speakveryclearly]

[Is this THAT LADY... WELL...]

Im Pretty Much Prepared For My Expedition Now Actually

Text;

[painfeels]

Is that another... troll thing?

[yep. troll thing.]

[Text]

[speakveryclearly]

Lets
Go With That

video;

[bittertears]

Though I'm afraid I have absolutely no idea as to what you're searching for, I nevertheless wish you good luck in finding it.

[Video]

[speakveryclearly]

[By the time Kanaya gets this message, she has made it home from her perilous journey and is now better-clad. It makes her look subtly all-around better, physically, and if the process of her embarrassment wearing off had gotten into full swing earlier she would probably have that glow on her face too. But as it is she's still a tiny tad mortified. Alice of all people, too...

She's in her bedroom instead of the standard common room couch.] I have found it. Thanks for the sentiment.

What about you? [Ah, yes, deflection.] Have you been looking for anything.

action/text

[honkalypse]

[There's hella lot of snickering going on from the other side of that hole, oh yes there is.]

so bitches get some growing and some glowing on both?

[Action]

[speakveryclearly]

[You know the great thing about that hole in the wall is that she can just turn around from her netbook and shout at him.]

Bitches got one snapped bra strap too many is what she has got. I haven't decided what to do with them now. What do you think. Whip. Noose.