exsilium | 001 | day after zombies

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001 | day after zombies

[A slightly pale and more-than-slightly displeased Ema greets the screen. It looks like she may have had one or two or three narrow escapes from undead.]

This is a really nice way to bring us in here... Oh, it's on already--? [she clears her throat and launches in with barely a preamable.]

I'm Detective Ema Skye... I have a question. So we've pretty much taken care of those... zombie-things now, right? [she ticks off on her fingers:] Also, we heard that animals were the disease vectors, and that something called "holy magic" [she wrinkles her nose at that] can cure them.

That's all well and good...But has anyone done a real forensic investigation? We could trace this back to the source, or at least figure out how it happened... [Her displeasure seems to melt away rather quickly.] It's all part of the power of science!

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As far as I know there are two schools of Undead Thought. One is where it spreads because who cares and it's all about Bruce Campbell's boomstick? And the other is that it's a horrible disease and in the end it turns out Will Smith is a terrible person for killing all those people that were just sick.

...Y-You all really believe in these movies having to do with real life, don't you?!

I don't think zombies have much to do with real life either and all that stuff managed to happen!

Well, that's the point...! There's probably a scientific explanation for those zombies. You can't understand it by thinking about some movies someone made once!

Movies are based on true stories all the time anyway. And maybe by totally shitting on years of Hollywood research you're going to miss the most obvious answer!

R-Research--[breathe, Ema.]

Fine, if it's a horrible disease, we need to find some way to cure it! And if it's... What's a boomstick!?

A boomstick is time-travelling shotgun! So it's sort of a cure?

...The kind of cure which kills someone?

Being just dead instead of undead is a cure, yeah. Scientific and everything.

I don't even really know how they solved it this time, though. I think I got here kind of late-- mostly I just saw everyone killing bunnies on their screens and stuff, which was pretty gross??

W-Well. It's not... A cure usually implies that the patient is alive...

[She has to admit fair point on the gross bunny killing, though.]

That's what the science is for. To prevent the need for -- er -- more rabid rabbit massacre.

You don't have to defend science, I get it!! I mean, I was a Junior Ectobiologist once too and I made babies with the best of them, and I totally have respect for the hard bullshit facts about crossing streams.

It's just sometimes you get mad at science and then you're sent to some weird zombie infested place and don't really realize you miss science until she isn't here and you didn't get a chance to say sorry.

Edited 2012-12-18 16:18 (UTC)

[...Okay, that all sounds good, except--]

M-Made babies? But you - how old are you even...!?

Um, well I'm 15 now, but I was 13 when all that stuff happened? I just have really eventful birthdays I guess. I mean, technically yesterday was my birthday, but also not, because it's not the same day it was as where I came from so I've sort of got a jump forward to my next birthday. Does that count, or is the day I got here my new birthday? Because I kind of liked my old birthday and it's totally lame when your birthday is close to Christmas and everyone just gets you one present for both.

That--...That... That's way too young to be...! I guess it's not my job to say so, b-but...!

[Okay. Okay, it's not her job to say so...]

...W-Whatever! Kids these days...

Look, that's just personal preference. No one would even know if you picked a day that wasn't the real one, would they?

[it's never too young to begin one's first foray into the wide-world of cloning and sendificating.]

Sure they would! Dave would know, because he's here, and he'd be a pretty bad best friend if he forgot it. I haven't seen him for a while though, so I'm kind of hoping he isn't a zombie or something.

... Kind of?

Well, keep your old one, then. Keep track of both. That would be the most scientific thing to do.

If anyone can handle being a zombie and not being totally gross, it is probably Dave, but don't tell him I said that because it will go to his head which will probably explode from being too full of himself.

You are really really into the science thing.

It's the best way to look at life! I might as well say that you're really into movies.

[fidget...] ... And besides, I don't even know what that means. Why would this Dave be able to pull off being a zombie?

I guess I used to be. I dunno about now, but I still think you'd have to be pretty lame to have never even seen one zombie movie.

And I dunno specifically! It just seems like a thing he would be able to do.

[She doesn't know what to say to the second part, so, um--]

W-Well, I'm not lame! Of course I've seen at least one zombie movie. It's just that most of them are so...

[...] Well, after this it's hard to say inaccurate, but... you know what I mean. Something like the Steel Samurai is more fun and more explicitly fanciful.

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001 | day after zombies

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