voice.

[theguideless]

[feed starts at the tail end of a harsh exhale.

a beat.]

Where're...Chloe and...Er-eri...[huff. another pause. his voice gets grumblier, agitated:] My friends. Here. Why am I even back.

Comments

[theguideless]

[shaken:] I'm...messing up. Again. A lot. Not just...that.

[stonefaith]

Oh. [ more pause, more hesitation. then, carefully: ] What do you think you're doing wrong, now?

[theguideless]

I...don't really know, I'm. All mixed up. Worse. I don't know what to do. What's right to do.

[stonefaith]

I know. And that's fine. It's too early for you to have sorted everything out yet. Though-- [ and you can almost hear the frown in Bariyan's voice, here. disappointment? ] --you should have held off on coming onto the network to shout at everyone.

[theguideless]

[a loud, shaky exhale.] I... [how many excuses? do they even matter? it's probably better to just...not even try to make sense of it.]

I know. That's part of it.

[stonefaith]

Then tell me the rest. [ a flat-out demand. ]

[theguideless]

[another pause, longer. all the anger is stamped down, replaced by a mix of shame and fright. he still doesn't know if he was doing anything right, and not knowing makes it that much scarier.

his voice stammers, breaths in-between rattled between teeth.] It's...The, the excess. I mean...the black. You know. When it has to come out...it. It doesn't. Not anymore. Maybe a little, but. Even with all the...[sniff.] the medicine. I, I don't know. It's supposed to just...come out, or. It's just supposed to.

[stonefaith]

Yes, I remember. [ the stones at the start, then the pills... bariyan tries to recall everything that he knows about this but in the end, what can he do? he doesn't know anything.

the sharp edge in his voice fades away. now urgent, now worried: ] Have you talked to John about this?

[theguideless]

No...

[stonefaith]

You should. Soon. Now, if you can.

[ but. ]

...Is it making you sick? The excess, I mean.

[theguideless]

I don't know. I...guess. Maybe. It's. [hh.] John wouldn't know anything about it. He's a human.

[stonefaith]

Right. [ sigh. of course. ] Can I come and see you, at least? [ not like bariyan knows anything either.... ]

[theguideless]

[a beat. nrhgnahrnf he doesn't want to see anyone but.]

If you want. I'll go back. [but he's sure Anora might rip his face off if he gets close :(]

[stonefaith]

Back? Where are you right now?

[theguideless]

[hh. a flash of aggravation:] I just. Went walking.

[stonefaith]

Yes, but where. I can come out and find you.

[theguideless]

[a beat. he has to survey.

...the hell is he, anyway.]

Nh...I'll go to the lot.

[voice -> action]

[stonefaith]

I'll be there soon.

[ it takes him a bit to convince himself that he ought to leave the room at all, though, so it's about fifteen minutes until bariyan actually shows up. shoulders hunched, feet dragging along the ground, but eyes still alert and searching for martin's presence. ]

[theguideless]

[the kid's not been kept waiting; he's only just found his way. had to stop and yell it out with some other folks, freak himself over Koltiras...y'know.

the usual.

(NO THIS IS AWFUL)

he shuffles to a stop a few steps into the lot, breathing in heavily, trying to steady himself. it's hard. he's still worked up, shaking. he drags his sleeve across his face. get it together.]

[stonefaith]

[ Bariyan looks up and frowns. The boy's arrived in a rather more upset state than he'd expected. He makes his way over, quickly, going down on a knee. ]

Martin? [ Tentatively, he goes to place his hands over Martin's shoulders. ] What's the matter?

[theguideless]

[for once, the contact doesn't cause a reflexive shudder or recoil. he doesn't even acknowledge the smell.

his face scrunches up, scrubbed against his forearm harshly while he sucks in a harsh breath.

thickly, muffled:] I don' knowh...

[stonefaith]

[ he'd been irritated, earlier; irritated at martin's network post, at the responses that bariyan had bothered to flick through. but it seems that martin's mood has shifted, once more. and bariyan cannot muster up much anger at this one. ]

Come on, boy. Come out of it. [ but his voice is gentle, and bariyan pulls martin a little further in, almost as if to embrace him. almost. ] Let me see you.

[theguideless]

[he shrinks up at the request, the other arm going up to further shield his face. a strangled sound. he'd had a good few minutes of feeling nothing, and that had been pretty great, considering...]

Ss. Srr'h... [wow guess what that was supposed to be.]

[stonefaith]

[ Bariyan forces his own mind to all but shut off, now. He knows where his thoughts will go if he lets them wander. The VR's woken up too many memories for him and he can't afford to think about them now. ]

Martin. [ He lays his hands against Martin's forearms, gently trying to pry them away. ] It's fine. You're all right. Come here.

[theguideless]

I'm sorry! [a little uh. loud, after dropping his arms quickly and stiffening up.] I-I'm sorry, I'm...[shoulders sagging.] I'm sorry...[grimacing hard to try to keep it in. he bows his head.] I'm sorry.