What, so you think that because you said please they're just going to give you what you want?
They were attacking you! Here's a tip - if your allies turn on you because they're surprised, they're bad allies!
[It's the 'fix it' that gets her, and there's a moment where she falls silent, where the only sound heard from her is her breathing, because she starts talking again. She's still mad, but her tone has changed slightly, almost like she's not quite focussed] You don't get to fix it. You don't get to make it better. Either you let it eat you up inside until there's nothing left, or you move on.
You're not—! [cut off, trying to shout over her allies remarks. he has to bite on the inside of his cheek to not interrupt any more, but move on really riles him up.]
No. NO. I can't! There's nothing else! You don't know, you just. Don't know, it's different. It was a mistake!
[His yelling in turn gets to her, half lost in memories of her little sister as she is. It's not like she's any better at moving on] The only reason you want it to be real is because this time it means that other people screwed up! Now it's other people's fault that you couldn't save her, not yours, so you can be mad at them instead of hating yourself! [Guess who's projecting 8|]
It's still my fault! I knew what to do! It doesn't matter who else was there, even if—if it was wrong, it's not their fault! It's mine. She's — going to die and it's my fault! [WHERE ARE HIS FILTERS. WHAT HAPPEN.] If I hadn't been around from the start, it'd be better, but it's not and I have to fix it!
[Wait, what is he talking about, she was talking about - oh. Whoops. Katniss is sort of startled into silence by how blatantly she'd lost track of her own thoughts. Out of everything he's said, there's only one thing that really sticks out to her]
[still on a roll, getting hysterical:] She's going to die because I'm here and not there. It was my hunt. If anyone was going to die it was going to be me, and it — that would've been better. I already messed up once, and then this, which only proves it, but I have to fix it or she's. Dead.
[She shaking her head, trying and failing to make her thoughts fall into place properly. But she can't separate what he's saying from what she's thinking]
Why do you get to go back? What's so special about you and your mistakes that you think you should get a second chance? You screwed up! At least she's still alive, you can still save her now!
she's now the voice of insecurity constantly tugging at his attention. what's so special about you?
everything comes to a screeching halt on his end, save for small, rattled breaths. nothing is, that's the thing. he's always known that. more than he's known anything else.
[His floundering brings her up short, but Katniss is too tired and bitter to care all that much right now]
So long as she's still alive, you don't know what you're talking about. The guilt you feel, the worthlessness? It's nothing compared to what it'll be like if she actually does. And if you think the organisation that kidnapped us to fight their war for them really cares enough about what you did to help you make it better, you're blind.
The only people who do the same thing over and over and expect different results are the insane.
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no subject
They were attacking you! Here's a tip - if your allies turn on you because they're surprised, they're bad allies!
[It's the 'fix it' that gets her, and there's a moment where she falls silent, where the only sound heard from her is her breathing, because she starts talking again. She's still mad, but her tone has changed slightly, almost like she's not quite focussed] You don't get to fix it. You don't get to make it better. Either you let it eat you up inside until there's nothing left, or you move on.
no subject
No. NO. I can't! There's nothing else! You don't know, you just. Don't know, it's different. It was a mistake!
sob these two sad babbies
CAN'T COPE W/YELLING FEELINGS ALART ALART
YELLING WILL FIX EVERYTHING OKAY
She's not dead yet?
LOUD NOISES
no subject
Why do you get to go back? What's so special about you and your mistakes that you think you should get a second chance? You screwed up! At least she's still alive, you can still save her now!
no subject
she's now the voice of insecurity constantly tugging at his attention. what's so special about you?
everything comes to a screeching halt on his end, save for small, rattled breaths. nothing is, that's the thing. he's always known that. more than he's known anything else.
floundering:] It...I...
no subject
So long as she's still alive, you don't know what you're talking about. The guilt you feel, the worthlessness? It's nothing compared to what it'll be like if she actually does. And if you think the organisation that kidnapped us to fight their war for them really cares enough about what you did to help you make it better, you're blind.
The only people who do the same thing over and over and expect different results are the insane.
no subject