TEXT

[itase]

Okay. Survey time. Am I seriously the only person here who's not from a world filled with people trying to murder me?

I mean. I had the one. But that was more incidental. I am the definition of collateral damage on that one. But some of you all take it to the next level. Or all the way up to 11, in some cases.

Comments

:D

[itase]

[And through whatever sequence of walking, knocking, opening, etc, is needed, Darcy arrives.]

Barkeep, your strongest shot please.

[hungover]

Vodka, or gin?

[There's some fancier things in the hutch where they keep the drink, but those aren't his -- and his roommates are sort of terrifying women, so he stays away from it.]

[itase]

Vodka.

[And she sets about finding herself a comfy place to sit because broaching into the awkward conversations she has in mind.]

I'd say thanks, but after you see guy's large intestines the niceties just seem unnecessary.

[hungover]

Right, that's what -- third base?

[...gross, Haymitch.

He brings the bottle over to the table and drops it down. It's a big, industrial-sized vodka bottle, the sort you get from bulk food stores, and pours them a shot each.]

[itase]

[Darcy scooches forward a little in her chair to wrap both hands around the shot, not taking it just yet, more rolling the glass between her palms. She has a feeling the drinking will be needed soon enough.]

That is way onto the second victory lap. Some people go their whole lives without reaching that level. Those people are the lucky ones.

[hungover]

Oh, I don't know about that. Capitol doctors have seen plenty, and they live very cushy lives.

[itase]

Capitol. Yeah. On that.

[And if she was looking anywhere else in the room from time to time before, that is over. It is Focus On Haymitch's Face time.]

I'm not a bad history student. Really. But outside of a few conspiracy websites? This whole tyrannical thing is pure academia on my end. So...what are we doing here?

[hungover]

[...okay, see, people don't often actually look at him. He can focus back.]

Here, as in on the side of the Initiative? I've got about as much information on that as you do.

[itase]

Not even a single theory? There are people here who can't fight- I can't fight. And now 'technical' errors? It just...

[She takes that shot of vodka now.]

I don't feel like one of the good guys, here.

[hungover]

Sometimes even when you are the good guys, you don't feel like it.

People still die, bad things still happen. Trust me on that one.

[He flips his own shot, and goes about filling their glasses again.]

[itase]

You are a fount of wisdom, Caterpillar.

[And back to just rolling the shot around. Maybe sloshing a little alcohol over the edge.]

But even the messed up things aren't done perfectly. The point wasn't just training, or just memory sharing this week- how old were you supposed to be?

[hungover]

[Okay, so she's working herself up to asking him about the memory.

He can't pretend she didn't see some of it, so he might as well be honest in a roundabout way.]

Seventeen. Older than most, during their games.

[itase]

[And there's a moment of quiet after that because 'and you killed everyone else' seems kinda insensitive. Spin, spin, spin goes the vodka.]

I wasn't sure. Since Katniss was the right age and so was I...but maybe we just had the right kind of unhappy more recently. Or you are just statistically screwed.

[hungover]

Oh, trust me -- I've had several traumatic points in my life since then.

[That was one of the last major ones that actually involved him, though. He does feel the need to clarify something, though.]

Most of the people that we saw weren't supposed to be in that exact memory. That's another reason I knew it wasn't just a memory.

[itase]

Yeah, the zombie thing seems a little off theme from the standard dystopia. But being kidnapped across space and time to drink with old dudes means not calling anything impossible.

[And she called Katniss a serial killer once. She should probably get her flowers or something.]

[hungover]

[Yeah, that's definitely something she needs to apologize for.

...Haymitch isn't going to admit who those kids were unless Darcy asks, though. Being honest and sharing information that wasn't requested is something completely different.]

I suppose you're right.

[itase]

It's a gift.

[And another Shot. Which she slams down on to the table after.]

My boss hit a god of thunder with her jeep. Then I tased him.

[hungover]

...is that supposed to make me feel better?

[He's confused as to where this is going, exactly, but he'll take it -- and keep drinking himself.]

[itase]

That was my adventure. And, please. You are way out of my league, psychologically speaking. I'm a twenty something liberal. That's to make me feel better.

[hungover]

I thought that was what the vodka was for.

[He smirks, putting down his empty glass to fill and motioning for her to do the same.]

That sounds remarkably undramatic, all things considered.

Look, kid. You don't need to feel bad for something you didn't have any control over.

[itase]

It was. It really was. We all ate poptarts the next morning. There are approximately zero things interesting about my life- even my iPod music collection is less eclectic than you would think. I am down to guessing drinking and smartassery are valued talents around here.

[NNngh, gives a half-shrug]

Which you seemed to be the literal drunken master of. So. It seemed like air should be cleared.

[hungover]

[...when he's one-on-one with someone and they seem to be actually praising him for whatever reason (and they also helped you beat down your zombified ex-tributes), Haymitch can actually be vaguely helpful]

They wouldn't have brought you here to take up space, so I'm sure they must have their reasons.

[Pause.]

Or you're cannon fodder. Either way.

[Okay, so not ... completely helpful.]

[itase]

And look, you found your spot too. As this bit of fodder's human shield.

[She sticks out her tongue before reaching over to pour her next shot. Hey, she's already two in. After the past few days, may as well turn this into a night she'll regret tomorrow.]

[hungover]

I did win my games, you know. That means I had to kill the other competitors. I haven't forgotten how to use a knife.

[Geeze, Darcy, don't be mean. Haymitch is perfectly willing to let other people make extremely bad decisions with regard to alcohol around him. Katniss can confirm that much.]

[itase]

That's where the supplying with alcohol ploy comes in.

[She says as she takes a shot and refills. Five minutes from now her hands will start shaking. She can't even imagine what his must be like after years of use.]

But in-incredibly-bad-taste humor aside. Please don't stab me. It's one of my only weaknesses.