TEXT

[itase]

Okay. Survey time. Am I seriously the only person here who's not from a world filled with people trying to murder me?

I mean. I had the one. But that was more incidental. I am the definition of collateral damage on that one. But some of you all take it to the next level. Or all the way up to 11, in some cases.

Comments

[omicron]

i do that.

[ horror of our lives. more accurate than anyone need know. ]

you know, i think i watched a soap opera like that once.

seriously? you actually TRUST people in this futuristic hellhole?

[itase]

It was the easier option over rocking back and forth in the corner all day. In part because that's just murder on my non-existent abs.

[omicron]

personally, i'm a big fan of corners. small, corner-y, out of the way... in a, you know. corner. nobody wants to kill you when you're in a corner. most of the time. unless it's their corner.

at least the rocking and cowering gets you your daily dose of abnormal exercise. which, again: better option than having to run your ass off getting away from the previously mentioned homicidal jerks with an eye for totally unnecessary manslaughter. let's all look on the bright side here.

[itase]

With that amount of shocking amount of expertise on this whole corner/rocking issue you're putting down, i'm picking up you've been playing the collateral damage game a teensy bit longer than me.

[omicron]

on a scale from one to dead, i'm pretty much straddling the line 24/7.

[ you see: werewolves. also, lizards. ]

the exact number fluctuates more often than i'm entirely comfortable with, but i have a feeling it's just tipped into 11-off-the-charts territory what with... this whole... whatever the hell this crappy dystopian world is. so yeah, teensy bit, unless you've got a story to share?

[itase]

Oh we just had a chaos god try to murder us all. Kind of a one shot 'my whacky weekend' sort of thing. Until he showed up here, but that's a countdown for another day.

But, you know. Weirdly, outside of the occasional psychological scarring, on the horrible scale this place is kind of like being in college. Again.

[omicron]

[ oh. he's talking to a girl AND she's a college grad. be cool, stiles, be cool. ]

ha ha ha dear god i wish you were kidding. seriously, you ARE kidding, right?

don't answer that.

[ not that he really trusts darcy, or... anyone, but he literally just got here by way of freakin' transporter beam, so there's a certain suspension of disbelief you acquire after being whammied repeatedly with, like, fifty impossible things before breakfast. ]

i wouldn't know. i'm still surviving high school.

[itase]

Then I won't answer. But it starts with a 'n' and there's an 'o' in there. Good luck, Holmes Jr.

[omicron]

neutrino, nostromo, nuncio... honestly, you're just stumping me here.

[itase]

Oh, look who's an AP student. Easy, I don't have the power to give extra credit per comeback.

[omicron]

more like "read the dictionary one time for funsies", but thanks for the vote of confidence.

plus there's that whole wikipedia thing.

[ just gonna. casually fail to mention his sophomore status. ]

that's okay, i can dream. one day i'll earn an A in sarcastic internet banter.

network banter. whatever. same diff.

[itase]

Liberal arts means never having to say your major has a purpose. But you might want to take this 'kidnapped and forced to fight history' time as a chance to pick up some non-dictionary related hobbies. Like psychotherapy.

[omicron]

you're hilarious, thinking i would voluntarily want to be anyone's shrink. i have to handle that crap enough as it is.

besides, if i'm going to fight history, i should probably be aiming for a PhD.

[itase]

Unless they imported the University of Phoenix, we might have to settle on less demanding hobby. Ever tried basket weaving?

[omicron]

nnno, i can't say that's ever been a bullet on on my bucket list. why? do you weave baskets on your off-hours?

[itase]

Nah. My hobby is getting people on the internet to make me things.

[omicron]

there's a shock.

the only thing i can make is [ trouble ] semi-edible food, so i guess you're out of luck. but hey, i'm pretty sure if you started offering cash money people would be lining up to weave all the baskets you'd ever need.

[itase]

semi-edible food, you say.

go on.

[omicron]

you did read the "semi" part, right?

[itase]

it's a serious upgrade to my 'non.'

[omicron]

okay, but don't say i didn't warn you.

and that's if i can actually find a) the place i'm staying 2) whether or not it has a functional kitchen and III) a grocery store that doesn't remind me of freaking minority report. and that isn't a promise, by the way.

[itase]

With that back up plan of what? Starve slowly and give snappy twitter updates as you go?

[omicron]

hey, that's not a bad idea. i can see the headlines: "boy slowly dies to death - remains hysterical on social networking site." gold.

[itase]

With this place? They probably punish you by sending you to a literal candyland until you start packing on the pounds.

So may as well just make me a sandwich.

[omicron]

do you always logic people into doing your bidding, or is this a new thing?