2 gorilla | video

[gorillawarfare]

 You know, I've been here a few weeks, and in that time I think I've finally figured out a pattern to the madness. I've noticed a lot of people, like me, are pretty confused as to why we've been chosen out of everyone from our home...uh, time-slash-planet-slash-continuum.

Well. I think I have the answer.

The reason why we've all been chosen specifically to fight the Evil Empire and generally bring truth and justice and time paradoxes to the universe.




We're all criminally hot.

No, seriously! I've talked to a few people around here- not one uggo around. Even the scaley aliens I'm sure are the hottest scaley aliens you can find! It's a conspiracy, I say.

Don't worry, you can thank me later.

[ SCIENCE ]

Comments

Re: video;

[gorillawarfare]

Well, it's a complex scientific theory, following hours of extensive research, but in a nutshell:

The hotter they are, the more kidnapped they fall.

video;

[sacrificar]

You're aware of everybody's physical appearance?

Re: video;

[gorillawarfare]

For the most part, yeah. There's a few people like that Tali girl who wear a mask, but I can only assume that it's the hottest mask around.

[ pause ]

Come to think of it, you're always wearing that extremely inconvenient hoodie. What gives?

video;

[sacrificar]

Nothing "gives" about what I wear.

Re: video;

[gorillawarfare]

I'd argue that on the bottom half of that sweater.

video;

[sacrificar]

So intent on knowing what the rest of my appearance is like?

Re: video;

[gorillawarfare]

I won't lie, you've definitely got the woman of mystery thing down. Plus, I'm wondering how you even eat with that thing.

video; 1/3

[sacrificar]

The answer is simple.

video; 2/3

[sacrificar]

[she unzips her jacket. yeah, enjoy the view, marco.]

video; 3/3

[sacrificar]

I do not eat.

video 1/4

[gorillawarfare]

Oh yeah? Turns out I'm a fan of simple ans-

2/4

[gorillawarfare]

...ers.

[ STARE ]

3/4

[gorillawarfare]

[ STARING. HOW IS THIS EVEN RIGHT ]

4/4 DONE

[gorillawarfare]

This is just like that dream I had where Claudia Schiffer turned into a squid and tried to eat me.

video;

[sacrificar]

Regretting your choice already?

video

[gorillawarfare]

She said she was going to draw me a bath but then her face turned into tentacles.

video;

[sacrificar]

I have no interest in devouring you, Marco.

Re: video;

[gorillawarfare]

And then the tentacles had knives attached to them.

[ slowly, very slowly Marco brings a finger up to the screen and ends the transmission. He's going to need some time to recover from this one. It's not every day the hot roommate turns into the Claudia Schiffer Monster. ]