video -> text

[theguideless]

[backdated to the 3-4 a.m. hours after mission end/return!

just a brief video, though, because Marty's not having any of this. black rings under the eyes, a weary, frustrated look on his face...and one long huff as he manages to find the right button and switch that shit off.

text:]

John i need more of that medisin you gave me
Im sorry i didnt mean to run out so fast

Lee [lol Lea he can't spell] im sorry i dont think i can be a friend anymore
Sorry

Nobodys going to get to go back still are they?

Comments

[septim]

You are taking an active step to change whatever it is?

[theguideless]

Yesstaying away from everyone will make it better

1/3

[septim]

I'm going to tell you a story, Martin.

2/3

[septim]

This is the story of a man who toyed with forces he didn't comprehend. He was a fool. For his hubris, he was struck down. Saw his friends perish in front of him. He nearly died himself.

And then for nearly a month he wallowed in self-pity. Like a child, he blamed the gods and others for his misfortune. He refused to see that everything that had happened to him was his own damned fault.

3/3

[septim]

Luckily, a kind priest kept checking on him, day after day. Eventually, he got the man to realize that, yes, he was a fool. But the bitter wisdom that one has been a fool is not without value, so he should honor the memory of those who'd died by not giving up on himself, even if everyone else had.

Stop wallowing in your own misery. Nothing changes that way. Learn from your mistakes, but don't let them rule you.

[theguideless]

[a lengthy delay for reading/pondering/INTERNALIZING BASELESS ARGUMENTS AND ACCUSATIONS/etc.]

I dont think this is the same for things like me im sorry
Theres nobody to blame but me and i keep getting people killed
Staying with people doesnt hellp
Im not supposed to anyway its not allowed but i kept breaking the rules and thats why this is hpappening

[septim]

This is happening because we are at war, not because you are breaking rules.

[theguideless]

Robins dead because of me

[septim]

Did you kill him yourself?

[theguideless]

If i hadnt been there he wouldnt be dead

[septim]

Then it's not your fault. Mourn him if you must, but I doubt he would want you to blame yourself for his death.

[theguideless]

Nobody wouldve hurt him if it werent for me
This keeps happening

[septim]

No, someone else would've hurt him. This is war, Martin.

[theguideless]

[OUT, DAMNED LOGIC.] They were really nice before i messed up its my fault

[septim]

Martin, how many people have you killed? Can you remember their faces? Their voices?

[theguideless]

Three

[septim]

I've lost count of how many I've killed. I can't recall their faces, or their voices. Not even their names. Some I killed with glee. Others I sent to their deaths because it was their duty to protect their Emperor.

Honor their deaths by not living in the past but working for a better future. Your future.

[theguideless]

Im not allowed
Im not a person like you
Im not aklowed to be around people i shouldnt have been i wont hurt anybody if im not around isnt that better/?

[septim]

You are a person. And no, that's not better. That's running away from your problems.

[theguideless]

[and there's the thing: Martin doesn't want to own up to anything he can hide from with ~*Darkov rules*~. because responsibilities and relationships are scary and hard.

not that he's worked it out to that level yet.]

The problem is having broken the rules

[septim]

No, the problem is that you're acting like a child. Rules are not infallible concepts. [ Which is an amusing admittance from the Emperor whose Empire's motto is THE EMPIRE IS LAW. THE LAW IS SACRED. ] Rules are guidelines, yes, but they are not absolute. Sometimes rules don't make sense and should be abolished. This rule of yours is foolish, because it's unattainable.

[theguideless]

Its how it is where im from
Darkovs dont talk with people

[septim]

And where I'm from I'm the Bastard Emperor who turned into a flame-wreathed dragon.

We're not where you're from.

[theguideless]

[staring at that sentence because if he stares at it it'll make more sense

r i ght...?

WHY IS EVERYTHING DRAGONS.]

Buti I dont think its right or honorble to anyone to do more things that hurt people
I dont know im sorry

[septim]

[ BECAUSE DRAGONS ARE AWESOME. ] The road to Oblivion is paved with good intentions. Sometimes people will get hurt, whether you want it or not.

If you don't learn from your mistakes and move on, I guarantee you that people will get hurt.