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[hejhej]

[It's been awhile since Lisbeth's done a text post, but she doesn't want anyone to see her tear-stained face nor hear how hoarse her voice has become from screaming all into the night for nearly a week straight.]

Guilt is pretty fucking awful. It feels like it's eating your soul.

[A feeling she is so unfamiliar with - Lisbeth never feels guilt about anything.]

How the fuck do you get rid of it?

Comments

text;

[falla]

Do you want my version of the long answer or the short answer?

text;

[hejhej]

Short.

voice;

[undealt]

[Wow that's a loaded question to see when he ventures to check the network while on ICY COLD VACATION IN THE FROZEN WILDS.]

In my experience, you never quite get rid of it. You just convince yourself whatever you did was right. One day, you might even believe it.

[It was the only advice he could give Snow White, in the end. And he knows a few things about guilt. And burying it. And the fact that there are things he can't convince himself of. Basically, way to inspire him to get all deep.]

permatext

[hejhej]

I have no problems believing in what I've done was right in the past, but this one thing is... not that easy to accept.

[text]

[legal_eagle]

[Sonya's never really talked to Lisbeth aside from stray comments, so she doesn't really know her.]

Well, that depends. What caused it?

[text]

[hejhej]

[After that post on the moon, Sonya's the last person Lisbeth wants to talk to, but she could play the ambiguity game at least. Maybe she could give her a better answer than just 'accept it.']

Someone is gone from Exsilium.

private; text

[fullmeasure]

You can't.

[Mike would know]

But in this case you shouldn't feel guilty.

private; text

[hejhej]

I abandoned him.

I have been there through every relapse, every recovery, everything ever since Siren's Port. But the worst of them all, I abandon him.

text;

[ringthenoise]

Booze. Lots of it.

text;

[hejhej]

Finally. Someone makes sense.

text.

[reversemole]

( ha, ha, ha. this resonates. )

You might not like the answer.

text.

[hejhej]

Everyone else's responses haven't been that good so try me.

[doubleoohbaby]

Ignore it until it goes away. Failing that? Alcohol and cigarettes. A lot of them.

text & video

[hejhej]

[She's turning on video for a split second to give you this exasperated look. Soon, it's switched off.]

Ignoring it is not an option. It'd be hard to.

text;

[individualist]

"Getting rid of it" only exists in a literal sense, depending on what's available to you. Coping methods to diminish the intensity aren't as effective as you might hope them to be.

Rather, embracing it might be your only option.

text;

[hejhej]

Embracing things isn't my thing.

text;

[shotup]

fill your soul with something else.

text;

[hejhej]

That's what I was thinking.

But you can only smoke so many cigarettes and drink so much alcohol.

permatext, permaprivate;

[5055034455]

No idea, but let me know if you find out.

You need anything?

permatext, permaprivate;

[hejhej]

[jesse.]

no. you?

[biwinning]

hahahahahaha

[hejhej]

what the fuck are you laughing about, fuckface?

text

[vaccination]

good question

text;

[hejhej]

[she's unsure if anyone has told ellie, so Lisbeth decides to deflect to something else.]

how's your hair holding up?

[speakveryclearly]

If Youve Done Something Wrong
Or Through Inaction Allowed A Wrong Outcome
Then You Do Things That Are Right
Until The Moral Checkbook Balances Itself
Its Simple As Long As You Know What The Right Thing Is

[hejhej]

[this is the only response that really resonates with her. Lisbeth has never thought about morality, but she knows what this means.]

I don't think anything in this world would correct this.

locked.

[wolfchild]

what happened

locked.

[hejhej]

someone is gone from exsilium

voice

[anklets]

[ so

utterly

helplessly

self-deprecatory ]

You don't.

voice; ushgf that icon with that reply

[hejhej]

great.

text;

[getoffmyearth]

You don't. But being miserable builds character. Everybody could always use some of that.

text;

[hejhej]

is that what they call being miserable these days?

text;

[transuniversal]

It goes away on its own.

[no it doesn't.]

text;

[hejhej]

and that's a lifetime sentence I'm assuming?

text

[observingfate]

It depends on the type of person you are, and perhaps how far you're willing to go.

text

[hejhej]

like how?

[beardedflannel]

I've been wondering that myself.
For the past twenty years now.

[hejhej]

so I have so much to look forward to.

[she should just off this damn island.]

text

[werewolfing]

pretty sure you don't if whatever's eating you is actually your fault

you just learn to live with it somehow

that's what people do

they learn to live with things

text

[hejhej]

I've learned to live with a lot of things in my life, but probably won't with this.

[nosebleeds]

rap

go to a casino

bet on horses

or just drink urself stupid

[unmasking]

Depends on what you feel guilty about.

text

[quackery]

i don't have experience with it or anything but i think if it's something that personal, it might have to be something you figure out for yourself

but that probably isn't what you wanted to hear

maybe try focusing that feeling on something else?

private;

[ensorceler]

You might try praying with me, as Master Pinkman would. Or on your own time, as you please.

[ He seemed to feel a lot of guilt, too. Now he's apparently gone home, though, so he's truly in God's hands now. Although she doesn't think it would help in the Catholic way, it's so deeply ingrained in her she cannot help it ... and so is the fear of papal oppression, hence this being private.

Face-to-face would be more private but why is everything so awkward now? ]

But why would you feel guilt?

private;

[hejhej]

[That she feels responsible for his death? That she promised herself - promised him - she wasn't like all the other people who left him. But Anne can't know what really happened to Jesse. She sighs.]

We were apart when he left.

video;

[bittertears]

[Oh.]

I'm afraid there's no easy way to do so, as others have already told you. It's something you'll have carry for quite possibly the rest of your life.

The only advice I can give is to face it, rather than turning a blind eye.

permatext

[hejhej]

there are a lot of people on this island who've dealt with crushing guilt. maybe that's what attracts the initiative.