exsilium | A short list without an App to list it (Audio & Text)

[the feed clicks to audio, and suddenly there's a very loud enthusiastic greeting.]

Hellooooo Exsilium!

Nailed it.

[the greeting ends as soon as its last syllable of "um" drops, and the post switches to text.]

Great! Everyone heard that, right? Now that the whole pleasantries thing is out of the way (as well as our B-Movie undead run-for-your-life quasi-fiasco), there are some suggestions that I must present to make us all the more comfortable. Please kindly lend your ears and open your hearts! The Initiative is welcome to take such suggestions, so I hope you've your ears open. I've condensed these to a brief number! Onward!

(1) A party every Saturday featuring the round Italian pastry covered in a copious variety of cured meats. I also propose that we're offered a number of stylish festive hats for the occasion. Top hats are in season, and nothing is complete without some kind of festive hat to show our enthusiasm.

(2) While I hardly mean to offend the technology offered to us by our captors, we're left regrettably with a single App that does a single boring thing and absolutely no games! I would settle for Birds of the Angry Emotional Feelings, or perhaps the Saga of Crushed Candy! Anything mind-numbing to pass the time. Even some Exsilium produced space-cat forum!

As a side note, anything of interest and practical use may also be warranted for App exploration. Perhaps something for these "missions" I've heard so much about. Or lists. Yes, lots and lots of Apps for lists. Perhaps a App of lists that lists all the App lists.

(3) Also include the Internet On-Line World in the suggestion above.

(4) I suspect it vital that we all learn how to walk on the moon. We're in luck! I've heard of what's appropriately dubbed "the moon walk." It's a series of difficult steps in Midgardian dance that cause the illusion that you're walking forward, yet you're walking back! Quite helpful in the scheme of things while we take residence.

This is a very small list for those of us who have been captured from our homes and drafted into an unknown future-war that none of us even had suspect of happening! All in favor of boosting morale.

Oh, yes.

I see that some of you are quite aware of the handle of "Loki." If you could give me any such knowledge of your experiences with this fellow I would be eternally grateful. Eternally grateful ... IN SPACE!

Posted from my StarkPhone

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You can sport any sort of fancy hat you are able to acquire. I'm not objecting to anyone else wanting to do this as their idea of fun, but it's personally not what I would be doing.

What would you be doing, Mister Not-Fun?

I'm guessing the collection of Midgardian postage.

No, I'm not sure what those are. If I wasn't tied here, exploring this universe. I haven't been in the Sol system in decades.

What's the Sol system?

The star system that Earth is in. Maybe Midgard is a more familiar term.

You mean to say you fly around in space upon your own whim?

Like vroom?

Have you been outside? Outside in space?

When I get tired of people and when it's necessary, yes.

Haven't you? The opportunity is there.

In space? Can I?

I don't see why not.

Take me into space!

[there's a curious pause.]

You're not going to leave there, are you?

[he sounds amused. SEE LOOK HE GETS AMUSED, ASSHOLE TEAMMATES]

You wouldn't think that unless there are reasons why I should leave you behind. And I have to wonder what may they be?

[AMUSED BECAUSE LEAVING LOKI IN SPACE OMG.]

You don't have to wonder, you know. I thought it was a bit obvious. You know, Loki.

[WHAT, THAT'S NOT SUPPOSE TO BE FUNNY]

Rather than getting an understanding of who you are first hand, I am supposed to rely on the common ideas about Loki when I decide whether to leave you in space?

[nO IT'S PRETTY FUNNY.]

That seems to be a trend, you know.

Please don't leave me in space. I don't want to be left in space.

[it's ok, he'll put him in a hamster ball fit for space]

I had unfortunate meetings with Thor that proves trends are just that.

Don't give me a reason to leave you in space, and I won't.

[Loki in a hamster ball rolling around space, everyone else is in suits. somehow this is appropriate.]

Yes, of course. I'll be sure to behave.

I promise.

[yes, sure, Loki.]

[they'll watch him roll across the surface of the moon]

We both know promises don't mean much.

[srsly]

Edited 2013-11-15 15:13 (UTC)

[but there's a sigh in his voice.]

You're a critic, too.

I'm not that Loki. You know the one.

A critic of promises and words holding too much weight. I've never met Loki before - you or otherwise.

[there's a pause where he goes over this.]

You've really met no other Loki? I'm your first Loki?

You are. Why does that matter?

Because people always seem to have this idea about me, you see.

You don't! Because you never met me!

This idea has to have a root in the truth. Otherwise, people would't have it.

Now this idea they have... [if this were on vid, he'd be staring into his soul]

[thank everything in the nine realms that this is not video.]

That Loki is awful and terrible and does all these insane things for nothing but his own gain and then conveniently makes himself the victim?

...

That's it! Er ... tah-dah! The short version, anyway. The long version is much worse.

[well then. there's a pause before he resumes, straightforward as ever]

So, that Loki was the most despicable of villains. And you're not that Loki. [SORT OF QUESTIONING but he gets it man. he's not that purple murdering psycho who tortured his teammates and planned to take over the universe. twice.]

That doesn't matter much now. Not when we have ourselves a new universe and new associations.

voice;

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