exsilium | [ video ]

Okay first off, before y'all start yelling at me, I been assured that we got plenty of supplies for this and I ain't cutting into our rations. Everybody's been doing a good job going on missions and bringing us stuff, so thanks for that. You guys are awesome.

So most of you know what I'm gonna say next: it's almost time to bake cookies. New guys, the deal is that we usually do this every month. It's a little something to help new arrivals feel better about being stuck here. We get together, we bake cookies, and then we pass 'em out on the first of the month and talk for a while with anybody who's got questions or needs a shoulder to cry on or whatever. It's just a nice thing we try to do.

Last month sucked but we're picking it back up again now, so anybody who wants to help out, we'll be having ourselves a little Halloween party in the cafeteria and baking all night. It's fun. You don't gotta be no master chef or nothing, I'll help you out.

And speaking of that, too - I heard some people ain't been eating right 'cause they don't know how to cook. That's messed up, yo. Don't stay quiet about something like that, okay. Ask for help. Nobody wants you starving and getting sick up here. If you can't cook for yourself, just come and find me. I'll make you something. You won't be bothering me 'cause I'm bored outta my mind anyway. I'm in 144 right now, so you can stop by or leave a message. Jesse Pinkman. It says right there on your screen.

Aight, I'm done.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's like... some potatoes.

[She laughs, shaking her head.]

Wish I'd thought about it before, I could've googled some recipes while in Chicago.

[DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHE MISSED GOOGLE.]

Oh man... Google.

[Do you know how much he misses Google?]

I know.

[And she didn't even really start using computers until the last couple of years.]

I didn't realize how much I'd missed it until suddenly I could just ask the internet anything I wanted to know. [a beat] You know what's the best? Ordering pizza online. That's something humanity did right.

God, I miss Earth. And just... things that work. Why'd pizza delivery have to go away, huh?

Next time you want pizza you better text me. I'll make and deliver you a pizza, hand to God.

[It's hard to tell if she's joking.]

No, no, no. Don't tease me like that.

I'll totally do it. I reckon I can scrounge up the ingredients to make the base, and I know I've seen cheese and pepperoni in the fridge.

You can't just say it and not do it, Steph.

Do you think I'm that cruel?

[She isn't!!]

Just ask, and I'll get you a pizza. But you better have money for a tip, we're not turning this into a bad porno.

[She literally can't help herself.]