exsilium | video ♛ heart with a gaping hole

[ it has been a while since morgana has appeared on the network and when she does, she does so suddenly. the feed clicks on to reveal her as she steps back from the tablet, there is more of a coldness to her face, edges gained only by time. pale skin is stained with blossoms of red, scraps and cut still unattended (she had a bloody cave dropped on her head not too long ago, thanks merlin), fain traces of dust collected in her hair. ]

And I thought my loathing for this place could grow no more.

[ as striking as morgana herself the large white form behind her begs more attention. the creature croons softly, head lowering and wings folding in tight. ]

Her name is Aithusa. [ even morgana's tone is colder now. there is a pain to it, joy and pain. aithusa her dear ally and friend, brought here to this dreadful rock with no sky to stretch her wings and fly. yet part of her is happy to have the dragon here, at her side. ] And she is under my protection. [ aithusa's head raises and the dragon pads forward a single step. morgana exhales, her hands balled into fists that none can see. they shake. ] She is not to be harmed. This is the first and only warning any of you will receive.

Heed my words or you shall regret it, unimaginable suffering will follow if you do not. [ it is a threat, plain and simple. lacking in subtlety, but she could care less, she will have herself understood now and understood plainly.

and just as quickly as morgana and aithusa appeared, the feed cuts. ]

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You're here.

( His voice sounds flat, but something cracks in the last second of it, and Donny looks many times worse than last time she saw him. Because Morgana was gone, and he just sat and waited, waited for her to come back, for her to reappear in their room and then he spent all his time looking for her.

But Morgana is here. And she sounds angry, and she's hurt, and he can't put together any more than that because this much information is already overwhelming him, feels like too much. He's beyond exhausted. He's realized that he has framed himself as replaceable, discardable, that there is no resurrection here, that he hurts people. He isn't good at what he does, he can't be Atlas or Adonis.

Morgana is here, but she speaks of suffering. )

[ the dragon speaks first, a low whine as morgana stares as if stone. he looks terrible, and he also looks the same as he had before. her head spins, three years past for her, three years and more suffering that she ever thought possible. she cannot make sense of time, how long as it been for him? a day? an hour?

she is not the same person she was before. she remembered her purpose, her goals, she remembered the anger she felt for gwen ─ for the servant who sits upon her throne. she is no longer the broken mess the initiative turned her into, and they will pay for their folly. she will make them bleed. ]

Adonis.

[ her chin lifts with a cold voice and steel eyes, a queen without a throne or crown. ]

( It's the way Selene might say his name, but he doesn't flinch. His gaze doesn't waver, either. She seems very different. Less brittle, like the cracks driven into the stone she was carved from have been worn away, as if she is formed from some fresher slab of marble, now, rather than held together by a cheap sculptor's wax. She can't go to pieces if she ventures too close to the Sun. )

C-can-- can I see you?

( As different as he is from when he first arrived, the changes have been slower. Scars etch into his skin with each passing month, one across his temple, two intersecting across his right cheekbone, the rough stubble vaguely closer to a beard but not really, and he still hasn't cut his hair. The changes from since she left are simply that he looks paler, more exhausted, more haggard because he has lost too many people in a span of days and when Morgana couldn't be found, something in him gave way.

He didn't yell, his magic didn't boil over. He simply forgot time as hours passed and he realized he was still standing in the same spot, skin freezing over. )

What would seeing me accomplish?

[ no, she says in not so many words. yet at the same time it is not a complete denial. they had made her weak, all of them; gwen, sharpe, donny ─ they had done it to her as much as the initiative had. she blames them, she blames him. ]

Nothing, and I will not compromise Aithusa's safety for you. [ her only ally, her only friend, the dearest to her heart. the dragon is still not healed, scars and damage of those two years remain on aithusa and morgana both. ]

( A long time ago, he told Morgana that he thought people were like lights. And before her he had told Max. I can be useful, even if people don't see me.

He can be useful, still. She may not want to see him, but he can be useful. What is less easy to gloss over is that she doesn't trust him. )

I'm a m-- m-medic. I can, um.

( A shrug, lost. She already knew that. The last part of his sentence just dies away. )

No. [ this one is more obvious far more plain, as plain as her threat. the dragon's head lowers.

he does not understand, he will never understand. their wounds are not ones so easily healed, morgana grits her teeth looking down from the feed. her hands shake with a tremor, hidden by the limitations of the camera. ]

Your magic may do more harm that good, I will not risk it.

[ she will trust none with aithusa's safety, with her health and well being. the dragon is more than capable of defending herself, nevertheless she had been taken advantage of before. used as bait, she cannot ─ will not let that happen again. ]

I d-don't-- don't heal w-with m-- m-magic.

( Quietly, head bowed. Breathing feels more difficult than it did a few minutes ago, but he shouldn't show it, he really-- he has to be better. That's what he's been begging himself for the past three weeks, and then nothing changes. He is still himself, still weak, he moves forward and presents possibilities and finds himself only in the same state of being undone as he was weeks ago, months ago. As if he had never become here, or maybe even before he met Max.

Nothing ever really changes. )

I w-wouldn't-- hurt either of you. ( He has only ever tried to protect her. )

Do you know how to tend a dragon that was forced to live two years of her life in a dark pit under threat of death?! [ words practically hissed through gritted teeth she lurches forward, eyes wide and ablaze with anger. aithusa whines again, unpleasant memories for the both of them. ] She grew in that pit! Until it became too small and began to cripple her!

[ it is easier to focus on the dragon than herself, her own wounds are shallow at best. fresh water will be all that is needed and she will be fine. ]

There is nothing you can do.

( What happened? The words stop before they can fall. He remembers her talk of magic needing to be hidden, of being at risk, and he finds he doesn't need to ask why a dragon would be imprisoned. Morgana has been distant before, frosty, but she's never been cruel. Not to him. )

I'm-- s-sorry they h-hurt-- hurt her.

( Licking his lips, trying to remember how to sculpt words, ) I-- are either of um, of you-- h-hungry?

( Let me see you. )

Do not apologize, they will do nothing for her now. [ for me. they are nothing but words as fickle as wind, easily said but all around useless. she has heard so many words, so many apologies that she loathes them now. ]

We are not. [ aithusa will need to feed soon perhaps, a problem that has not left her mind. she will deal with it, with her own two hands and mind. besides she knows what he is trying to do ─ any excuse to see her is better than none, correct? expect she does not want to be seen. she wants to be cloaked in shadows to rearrange the board before the game as a chance to change. she wants to sleep with the only being she can trust to never betray her. ] We do not need aid.

( Donny winces, but just barely holds himself from flinching. )

I'm-- I'm on y-your side.

( Very quietly, a reminder. He was always on her side. He didn't abandon her, or let her down, even when she thought he would. He'd--

but none of that meant anything. Obviously. )

[ it gives her pause, for a brief moment gone too quickly. the scowl returns as if it never left, chin lifted in haughty arrogance. on her side, an easy thing to claim but not so easy to put into practice. ]

So you say.

[ eyes gleam gold and the tablet flies backwards, feed cutting out sharply and suddenly. the conversation is over, and she will have no more of it. of that pitiful look on his face. ]

( Donny sits for a while, staring at his device and trying to unravel it. Part of him wants to find her, to seek her out and talk to her, but it goes against the grain of acting so completely against her wishes. He stays seated, and keeps looking at his device, as. )

video ♛ heart with a gaping hole

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well that went well