exsilium | → text (a little bit forward dated)

[The message today is in text, because she doesn't want anyone to hear how her voice shakes or see how exhausted she is.]

I know there's a lot going on right now, so I'll keep this quick.

Anyone who knew Ellie Linton, she's gone back to her own war, about ten days ago, so if you were worried about not having seen her around, that's why. Sorry for not contacting people privately, it was a little hard to keep up with who all she knew.

[And maybe there's part of her that just didn't want to deal with having the same conversation over and over again.

This is easier.]

For our new arrivals: my name's Steph, welcome to our temporary moon base, feel free to get in touch if there's anything I can help with. This is my tenth month since arriving, so I know a thing or two.

I also wouldn't mind some sparring partners. Or if anyone wants to learn how to fight, I know about twenty different martial arts styles and I'm happy to teach people to defend themselves. Anything to help keep busy.

That's it from me, have a nice day, everyone.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

worse. didn't need to know kung fu or anything.

[There's a delay before her response, and she adds an encryption.]

we're not allowed to kill

oh.
guess that takes guns out of the picture

most weapons, really. there's a reason i use a staff, it's non-lethal.

that would be a quick way to get your ass killed where I'm from

i know, but vigilantes have to hold themselves to a different standard

it's one thing for us to take the law into our own hands and stop criminals, it's another to play judge, jury and executioner. we leave that part to the justice system.

but why? it should be obvious if you're dealing with someone who has been hacking off heads what should happen

because when you cross that line once it gets easier to cross again

yeah, but it doesn't mean you go psycho and kill everyone you come across
I'm just saying

[She switches to audio, because typing all this up is too hard.]

I don't know if I agree with it, but it's the way things are done, back home. People have a hard time tolerating vigilantes as is, we don't need to be murderers, too.

[Ellie switches over, too.]

I'd trust someone who killed if they were keeping me safe doing it. At home, there's not really a choice. It's kill or be killed.

Our world isn't like that. Maybe there are some people who'd feel better if we were willing to cross that line, but...

[she sighs, quiet and sad and tired.]

We're just people in costumes. What right do we have to decide who should die?

Someone tries to kill you, you stop them.

I don't know, maybe my world is more--[fucked up. primitive?] loose with that. I mean, it obviously is, yours just sounds... really bizarre.

There are a lot of laws, in mine.

[Like. A lot.]

And... it's not a fair fight, you know? I've fought to kill, before, because otherwise I knew they'd kill me, but a lot of the time I'm going up against guys I outclass. It'd almost be like killing in cold blood.

There aren't any laws outside the quarantine zones.

[Not a lot of humanity, either.]

... I don't think fairness matters if someone's intent was to kill you.

Yeah.

[There weren't laws during No Man's Land, and that was a mess.]

Maybe not, but we're supposed to hold ourselves to a higher standard.

That's nice.

[Very superhero like, but Ellie knows why there aren't vigilantes in her world: they wouldn't survive. Morals aren't a thing you can have anymore.]

[Ther's a huff of breath, too bitter to be a laugh.

She doesn't even know why she's trying to explain something she doesn't quite believe it.

Her thoughts go to Sionis, to the way he looked down the barrel of a gun, to the way she screamed when he shot her.]

Yeah, it's nice.

[It comes out too harsh, and Steph groans at herself.]

Sorry, that wasn't-- Sorry.

[God, she's tired.]

[Ellie's not sure where that came from, but the shrug is practically audible in her voice.]

It's alright. I guess I can get it.

[Is it fair of her to spin explanations that she doesn't even believe?]

I'm too reckless, too vicious, according to people back home. [she's silent for a moment, her breath shaky.] I always had to be talked down from killing people. I don't-- I don't know if I agree with our rules, but I think it's important that we keep ourselves in check. It's too easy to lose track of what's right and wrong.

[Killing the doctors and technicians in the United Earth, was that wrong?]

[Ellie's quiet for a while. She feels relieved to hear that. Maybe Steph wouldn't judge her for what she's done.]

I think I've killed more people than infected. Because I had to. There wasn't a right or a wrong. It was either me or them.

I know.

[There's no judgement in her tone, if anything she just sounds a little sad.

Ellie's so young.]

Moral debates are a luxury not everyone gets.

[A small sigh. Even though she hoped Steph would react like this, she was still bracing for some sort of disgust or lecture. Kids weren't supposed to kill.]

Yeah.

Do most of the people here kill? Or are they like you?

[quietly:] I kill, here.

[They're fighting a war, and this is one of those times where she doesn't have the luxury of a moral debate, as much as it wages inside her anyway.

Still, she can answer the question.]

I think most people are willing to kill. Some of the vigilantes probably don't, but there's only a few of us.

[You should have said that in the beginning, Steph. Ellie feels more relaxed.

(A year ago, if you told her she'd be more relaxed talking to people who have taken lives... she'd have laughed.)]

That makes things easier.

audio; private

controlledvariable - 2013-10-07 10:39 (UTC) - Expand

vaccination - 2013-10-07 10:43 (UTC) - Expand

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vaccination - 2013-10-07 10:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: audio; private

controlledvariable - 2013-10-07 11:14 (UTC) - Expand

vaccination - 2013-10-07 11:18 (UTC) - Expand

controlledvariable - 2013-10-13 15:38 (UTC) - Expand