exsilium | → video

Entry tags:

→ video

[Despite everything that's happened in the last few days, Steph looks positively cheery as she comes onto the screen, dressed in civvies with her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. She might not have worn the particular suit for a couple years now, but she's all Robin, all grins and charm, because she doesn't have the energy to be anything else.]

Hey, guys, I know this is kinda last minute, but there's been a change in plans with the whole cookie thing this month. [She holds up a hand as if silencing comments that aren't actually going to come, because this is pre-recorded.] I know, I know, I'm not exactly the regular guy that does this, but don't adjust your sets, Jesse's just come down with a hell of a cold, so I'm gonna run things this time 'round.

For those of you who don't know, I'm Steph, hi, I don't bite very hard.

[Steph pls]

Since Jesse's sick, we figured it'd be best not to cook in his kitchen, 'cause I'm sure we don't wanna give the newbies the sniffles when they first show up. If anyone who's normally involved would like to volunteer their kitchen to be the base of operations, I would love you forever, but if not we can just use my place, 104.

[And a briefly apologetic look because she hasn't actually asked her roommates. Sorry guys.]

We'll still be doing it on the 31st, starting early and hopefully finishing early so we can all head over to Ella's party, and the tent will be set up at the same time on the first, you'll just have me co-ordinating things intead of Jesse.

If anyone has any questions or concerns, now's the time to voice them, if not, I'll see you on the 31st, either at mine, or I'll update this if we get a volunteer.

Thanks.

[A lazy salute, and the feed cuts.]

[[OOC: Same ooc stuff applies; there won't be a log for this but feel free to say characters participated! The thread in the welcome log will still go up and everything will go the same, it'll just be Steph instead of Jesse wrangling things c: ]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( Let her just amble a little closer, eyebrows raised. ) Yeah, no worries.

( Though, she's sorta curious. ) Why'd you take over?

You know Jesse's a junkie, right?

[Normally she'd be kinder, but after the whole poison thing, she wants Ellie to know as much as possible.]

( She knew. She didn't like it, but she knew. There was this dilemma: she liked Jesse, he looked out for her when she was new, when that Skeeter woman was right out of line, when she didn't really know anyone except for Steph. Jesse had been good to her.

But he was a junkie. And probably giving booze to someone having a shitty time wasn't that hot an idea, either.

Jesse being a junkie reminded her of Chris, of all the guilt and the anger tied up in that, having so much potential and tossing it all away like it meant nothing. Of letting Chris down by not trying harder when he was hurting just as badly as the rest of them and taking it out on his body. )

For fuck's sake.

( Guilt didn't do much to get her off her high horse, of course. )

[She's not sure what reaction she expected, but all she can do is shrug.]

Meth fucks you up really bad. He shouldn't be around people right now.

[Especially not scared newbies.]

He shouldn't be doing drugs.

( Irritated, harsh. ) What, he just nosedives and you get to pick up the pieces? Yeah, good one, Jesse.

( Leaning against the counter, and it's the same story, over and over: he's meant to be an adult. )

[No, he shouldn't, but that's not Steph's problem.]

No, he nosedives and Saul picks up the pieces. [Her tone's a little flat, as she pushes a hand through her hair because she feels so guilty, about caring about Saul when she's got Ellie, about being so awful to Saul even though he deserved it, about a lot of things.] I just think the cookies are important, so I'm making sure it still happens. That's where it ends, 'cause I don't give a shit about Jesse beyond this.

( And yet, that's the thing Ellie is going to be grasping onto furiously, even if she doesn't rail and say anything about Steph fixing it. )

Great.

( What a bloody improvement, but at least Steph isn't taking it on like it's her problem, her responsibility, the way she tends to. She huffs, stares at the ceiling for a second because this is completely stupid. Fucking Jesse, and Chris. )

Christ. ( Okay, come on. ) Do you want any help with it?

Hey.

[Careful, and she's ignoring her own concerns to put a hand on Ellie's arm, before very gently pulling her into a hug.]

It's gonna be okay.

[Maybe not for Jesse or Saul, maybe not even for Steph, but she'll make sure none of this hurts Ellie.]

( Sighing as she's drawn into the hug, Ellie can't quite shake the feeling that it is an actual impossibility for things to ever just be all right. Her arms loop around Steph automatically.

She's not sure if it actually makes her feel better. ) Don't lie to me.

( Things here aren't okay. )

I'm not. [Gently, her fingers stroke through Ellie's hair before settling at the nape of her neck.] I'll make sure everything's okay.

[For you.]

( It's not the answer she wants, not quite. Her hands tighten in Steph's shirt, as she tries to rattle out the things bothering her. For a while, she's just quiet, frustrated, all of it biting at her, until she pulls back. )

You don't have to fix everything. The tent, or worrying about any of that. Or me. You don't have to fix stuff for other people all the time.

( She should look after herself, but when does Steph ever actually do that? There's something searching in Ellie's gaze, because she can't quite figure out how to say it. ) It's not your job to save everyone.

[Her expression is gentle in the face of Ellie's annoyance, and she brings a hand up to rest against her cheek.]

I know, really, I do. [She can't save Jesse, she's resigned herself to that, but:] What's the point of everything I've done, if I can't keep the people I love safe?

[If that means fixing things and worrying about everything, so be it.]

Do you?

( Like, does she actually know? Has she really processed it, taken it in and absorbed it, or is she just saying it because it's what she thinks is right and wants to appease Ellie, but really she hasn't made sense of it yet?

There's a reason she got to caring about Steph so much, but there's all the reasons she drives her up the wall, too. )

We've gotta keep you safe, too. ( Frowning, focusing on Steph's mouth, on her words, because looking up at heris difficult and she's almost worried about what she'll see, what the resistance would be, even as her fingertips rest against Steph's chin. )

Yes.

[It's firm, but there's no annoyance, because she understands why Ellie needs that reassurance and she isn't upset at any doubt. Steph knows what she can be like.

Ellie loves her, and she's just trying to watch out for her.]

I know that, too. But I've got you and Collette and Kara and everyone from back home watching out for me, yeah? I know I'm safe.

[And she means that, she really does, her expression so sincere.]

( You've gotta let us keep you safe, then. That's what she wants to say; she doesn't. Instead, she rests her head against Steph's shoulder and hugs her close. )

You're a worry, Steph.

( A major worry. Going to give Ellie grey hairs, at this rate.)

That I definitely know.

[As her arms go back around Ellie, holding her tight and kissing her hair.]

But I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not gonna do anything stupid without giving you a chance to yell at me, first.

( Steph's stupidly good at getting her to laugh. She huffs out a quiet laugh, shaking her head just barely, moving her arm just so she can prod Steph's stomach before going back to hugging her. )

Well, as long as I can yell at you...

( That would be a kiss to Steph's neck, for the record. )

[Rude. She huffs a laugh at the poke.]

I figure that's the most important part, you being able to yell at me.

[Or maybe it's just Ellie being able to keep her in check, being able to stop her from doing anything too stupid.]

Definitely. ( Nothing like a good yelling match, after all. Nice and cathartic. ) We have each other's backs.

( That's what they do. Ever since she got here, Steph's had her back. Sometimes it doesn't feel like she has Steph's back the same way, though. Her arms tighten around Steph. )

[She doesn't miss the way Ellie's arms tighten around her, and Steph kisses her hair again.]

I dunno what I'd do without you.

[And she's still got that sincerity going on.]

( Steph has a habit of saying all the things Ellie needs to hear, the stuff she knows she never told the others, but they never told her, either. I dunno what I'd do without you, like she's important, does something significant that no one else could manage. )

You, too.

( All kinds of stupid, off-hand remarks are there that she could toss out, and she almost does - you'd have smaller grocery bills, for one - but she pushes them aside, because this feels more important. ) Don't worry about it. I'm not going anywhere.

( Idly, her fingers stroke Steph's hair. Mostly she's just enjoying this, even with all the tension skirting the edges.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

→ video

lovingly though

there is no such thing

:c you think so poorly of me

tell me I'm wrong

i was just saying what you could and could not do gosh

B|

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject