exsilium | one ➳ video.

[ allison's decided to record this from the rooftop of one of the slightly shorter and less damaged buildings because why not; especially when the air is crisp and cold and helpful in clearing a troubled head. she's brushing back a stray piece of hair when she turns on the video, before using both hands to steady the tablet currently balanced on her knees. though she looks calm, there definitely seems to be a heaviness in her posture — like she's only just taken a moment to relax and let the good and bad of the situation sink in. the latter, it seems, is what's troubling her today. ]

Hi. [ a half-smile ]

I haven't been here too long, so I'm not so good at this. But how do you even begin to stop thinking and worrying about everything back home? Or at least about people. Family.

[ because the realization had been that her dad's alone now. or he's with gerard, which might actually be worse. she knows he's capable of taking care of himself, but she also hadn't exactly left at the best of times either. her tone turns more inquisitive, more determined as her brain tries to grasp at ideas of what she could do. ]

I know trying to be sent back is trouble, but if there's ways to let us travel, shouldn't there be some way for us to leave something? A note, a memento, or something to let people know we're okay.

[ if she could, she's sure he'd find it. she knows it'd probably make things too easy, but a girl can dream, can't she? the silence begins to stretch on too long and allison figures it's time to buck up and at least stop broadcasting her sullenness, so she just adds: ]

Thanks. [ and a shake of her head before the feed's switched off. ]

[ ooc: oops forgot to add that feel free to also find her outside! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't either, but I don't think the Initiative is doing it on purpose. It might be sending us back to our worlds that erases our memories--or maybe it's time...

It's not in our control, but that doesn't mean we can't be angry about it.

[ but riku isn't. for a lot of reasons, really, but he isn't going to be up front about disclosing those reasons when she hasn't asked for them. ]

That's what I mean. There's so many things here that we can't control and the thought of that — [ she pauses, letting a quiet sigh out before continuing ] — the thought of it is really freaky.

And I've dealt with things that should be way more terrifying.

[ riku simply gives a nod. ]

I know the feeling. [ and then, a shake of his head. ] No one should be forced into this, especially when we don't have control over a lot of what goes on.

How do you deal with it? Or how did you anyways, when you found out? [ she tilts her head curiously. the words to retract her question rest at the tip of her tongue in case he ends up looking too uncomfortable to talk about it. ]

[ while riku doesn't look uncomfortable, he takes his time as he tries to think up the right way to say what he needs to say. he's still not entirely sure he can tell allison about his world--this world, he's okay with revealing its secrets, but with aqua here and other keybearers...

he'd like to keep everyone as safe as possible. ]

I was relieved. If time stops when we're here, then nothing'll happen until I go back. I won't go back home and see that everything's destroyed because I'm not there.

A friend of mine I knew back home, [ a little smile comes to his face. ] had powers over memory. "Forgotten, but not lost", she said, once, when she had to erase memories of a friend of mine. I don't think those memories are lost forever. Just because you forget about something doesn't mean it doesn't exist--you just have to find it again, and memories come rushing back. Maybe that's what happens.

You don't — [ oops too late he's talking already so she just settles for shutting her mouth and listening intently instead!!

she stays silent for a bit after he's done, mulling over his words in her head. ]

Forgotten, but not lost — that's. That's not a bad way to think about things. [ even if the idea of memory tampering still made her unsure, he was right. the experiences couldn't be erased completely, could they? ]

Your friend seems pretty wise about this kind of thing.

She's--

[ riku can't stop himself from smiling, even if he's looking down while doing so. naminé... she was one of a kind. he wished he had more time with her, but she'd made her choice--and he wasn't about to stop her. it was high time she was able to make the decisions she wanted to make herself. ]

... she's one of the wisest people I knew.

[ he raises his eyes back, a little more confident and assured. that's right. naminé would probably urge him to tell everyone what he could, wouldn't she? ]

You know, you don't have to fight.

I don't mind fighting.

[ and truthfully, she didn't. it wasn't all that different from everything she'd been doing back home — from the sneaking around to trying to stop werewolves and/or mysterious killers from hurting more innocent people. if it meant she got to serve a similar sort of purpose here, she wasn't afraid of doing that again. annoyed at the initiative? sure. but working to save people was something she couldn't give up doing. ]

It's actually one of the things I'm not half bad at.

[ with her drive to become stronger, to empower herself, it had been one of the thing she'd taken to like a fish to water ]

[ he can't help but smile a little. ]

Welcome to the team, I guess.

Fighting's the only thing I'm good at. [ this is riku selling himself short. again. ] You can guess what I do here. If you're really serious about this, though, we could all use your help. I don't know how you fight, but I'll take your word for you being good.

Thanks, I guess.

If I'm here for a reason, I should try and see if it's worth it, you know?

And no one'll stop you from quitting if you find out if it isn't.

It might put me back in a place without a purpose though.

[ but she nods anyways. it's nice to know that things aren't as stringent as she'd thought, at least.

Even if it did, I bet you wouldn't be without one for long.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. [ and she means it. sincerely. ]

[ it's not often that something so sincere is pointed riku's way, so his shoulders come up in something of a shrug as he smiles slightly. ]

Wouldn't seem right.

Even so, you get to punch me if I'm wrong.

I'd be careful about making that promise. I can punch pretty hard.

So either my arm falls off because you damaged the nerves, or you find your purpose.

I think that's a bet I'm willing to take.

I'll try not to cause a lot of nerve damage. [ grins ]

Try, she says. I see how it is.

Hey, don't say I didn't warn you ahead of time.

I'll heed your warning. I'm not that reckless.

Good thing. Riku the reckless just sounds silly.

Allison the Able.

one ➳ video.

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