exsilium | one ➳ video.

[ allison's decided to record this from the rooftop of one of the slightly shorter and less damaged buildings because why not; especially when the air is crisp and cold and helpful in clearing a troubled head. she's brushing back a stray piece of hair when she turns on the video, before using both hands to steady the tablet currently balanced on her knees. though she looks calm, there definitely seems to be a heaviness in her posture — like she's only just taken a moment to relax and let the good and bad of the situation sink in. the latter, it seems, is what's troubling her today. ]

Hi. [ a half-smile ]

I haven't been here too long, so I'm not so good at this. But how do you even begin to stop thinking and worrying about everything back home? Or at least about people. Family.

[ because the realization had been that her dad's alone now. or he's with gerard, which might actually be worse. she knows he's capable of taking care of himself, but she also hadn't exactly left at the best of times either. her tone turns more inquisitive, more determined as her brain tries to grasp at ideas of what she could do. ]

I know trying to be sent back is trouble, but if there's ways to let us travel, shouldn't there be some way for us to leave something? A note, a memento, or something to let people know we're okay.

[ if she could, she's sure he'd find it. she knows it'd probably make things too easy, but a girl can dream, can't she? the silence begins to stretch on too long and allison figures it's time to buck up and at least stop broadcasting her sullenness, so she just adds: ]

Thanks. [ and a shake of her head before the feed's switched off. ]

[ ooc: oops forgot to add that feel free to also find her outside! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I wouldn't say time heals anything, really.

[ how could it? she could still the pain from her mother's death as freshly as the day she'd learned about it, after all. hell, she could even remember her aunt kate's death and she tried not to think as little as she could about that. time only counted for measuring how long things continued to hurt. ]

No, it does not. But it can make things duller, or give you other things to think on instead of sorrow.

[ In the end, it never doesn't hurt that her mother died the way she did, or cousin Kitty, too young to know better, and dead before she could ever truly learn her lesson. Her brother, her sister, her other step mothers, and especially, despite everything, she missed her father still. But it changed, it used to be a raw empty feeling that burned in her stomach.

Now it was rather like reaching about for something in the dark only to find it wasn't there any more. Which was much like waking up every morning here, in the end. She wanted to call to one of her ladies, but she would never get a reply. ]

The only thing I've found that helps is to keep busy, and to find appropriate times and moments to grieve.

[ some of this is hitting close to home and she thinks back to how much she still hated not giving time to her mother. maybe she could've prevented things, or at least have seen the attempt to kill scott coming so she could've stopped that. things could've been so different. ]

I've been getting that advice from everyone. [ she gives a small smile ] It seems like there might be some truth to it.

[ She pauses because, because this place offers so little solace to anyone. Least of all to her it seems. She's being selfish because she wants a relief from it just as much almost every day. ]

I should like to give you that distraction, if I may be so bold to ask you to join me for a glass of wine? [ a faint smile is offered, something like a olive branch, but there is no pity, not in her words and not in her face. She would never dare pity. ] I would offer to give you dinner as is proper, but I am afraid I cannot cook so well as my own kitchens did once and it would hardly be fitting.

[ It's quite probably not enough, but... the offer is there if she wishes it. ]

[ Allison smiles hesitantly because gosh, isn't that such a lovely invitation, and wow is it making her feel so ladylike. Normally, she wouldn't dare think of accepting offers from strangers, but for now, it seems the peril that existed back home in beacon hills ( where she'd been on her toes for anyone who could end up being the mysterious murderer ), hasn't translated to here. Besides, the other woman seems like she's a kindred soul at the moment and Allison's enjoying speaking with her. ]

I can help out with dinner if you want. I'd hate to just come empty-handed anyways,

[ Elizabeth gave a apologetic smile, because all these people knew how to cook, and alas, she can't even make toast without it burning black. ] I would be very much obliged if you did, as it's no matter of modesty on my behalf when I say these things. [ Dress her, feed her, run her errands, a teeming palace worth of people and she knows now its more than what most of these people have ever had. Which was either a mercy or a cruelty, because they had the joy of a privacy she never did.

But they were also rather more skilled in that regard than she was. It still felt a little bit shameful she couldn't be a better hostess. ]

[ allison just smiles back kindly, glad of her own skills of being self-sufficient for once, although she can only imagine that all kinds of people must end up in exsilium and not everyone must be as used to living independently as she'd learned to be. ]

If I'm cooking there, I could try and teach you something? I can't do anything fancy sadly.

[ Elizabeth is a rather bird in a gilded cage as far as those kind of skills go. ]

I would like that very much, my lady.

Oh, no, you don't have to call me that.

[ she's gotten the feeling the woman she's talking to isn't from the same time as she is, but being called my lady felt like she was stepping into a period piece. ]

I'm Allison.

I am Victoria Guildford. [ She didn't bother to add what and who she served, it made little different here most of the time other than to make people stare that she was so closely serving to royalty. ]

It is a pleasure to meet you, Allison.

Nice to meet you too, Ms. Guildford. [ victoria? or was that too personal? or maybe she'd held back because it'd been her own mother's name and everything still feels like a stinging reminder. ]

Do you have a preferred time or know when you'll be free?

[ Elizabeth bowed her head in reply, smiling softly. ]

Most evenings I am free, as I have little other work to occupy me at present. Whenever is best for you.

Does tomorrow or the day after work?

The day after would be best if that is not too much trouble to you.

Not at all. I'll just drop by later in the evening.

I will see you then, my lady. I am in Apartment 303.

I look forward to it.

[ ooc: idk if you want to handwave or thread it out? if the latter, i can throw up a log or something later! ]

[ ooc// a log sounds wonderful whenever you are up to it. c: ]

[ ooc: et voila! ]

[ Hello just on holidays at the moment and on my phone but I'll reply when I get back. Just so you don't think I have forgotten this! <3 ]

[ no worries! enjoy your holiday, first and foremost!! ]

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