audio;

[powdered]

[ Effie clears her throat. Taps the microphone. Puts on her best smile even though nobody can see it and parts her rouged lips to speak in that designer Capitol accent.

She is a woman on a mission and for once it isn't entirely selfish. ]

Attention.

Attention everyone.

Thank you.

There has been some concern as of late regarding the lack of feminine necessities available to the recruited ladies of this establishment. I have taken it upon myself to run a charitable drive for distribution of these items to any person who requires them.

We would be delighted to accept your generous donation of fine fabrics and aesthetic materials such as powder or perfume that could contribute towards a woman's well-being.

Please note, gentlemen, that this effort is as much for your sake as it is for ours, and on behalf of the ladies in Exsilium we appreciate your cooperation in advance.

Comments

[velveteened]

Break?

( he should probably be beating a tactical retreat, and while he's clever enough to realize this he is sadly too shounen to actually do it.

which means he hesitantly approaches his bed, if while keeping a safe distance. )

[maddeninghatter]

[ Break shoots out from under the bed, clawing at himself. There's a mousetrap stuck to each hand, his hair, one pant leg

and finally

there's one hanging off of his nose. ]

WHAT ARE THESE THINGS???

[velveteened]

( oh dear. )

I knew I was forgetting something. ( pause. ) They're mousetraps! Caesar thought they'd be a good idea.

[maddeninghatter]

[ One by one he yanks the mousetraps off and hurls them to the ground. The one on his nose he has to pry off with some care, however-- ]

Aa-ah!

[ Finally! That one gets thrown against the wall. It hits something breakable and makes a satisfying tinkling noise. ]

Mouse... mousetraps? Why the devil do you have mousetraps? I thought you had a cat! What's it good for, if it's not catching mice?

[velveteened]

( - sure, it's not like he needed things on his wall anyway. he'll just clean that up later - or, more likely, gil will. )

Li Jun is still young...

( a subject change is probably in order. he gingerly picks up the mousetraps closest by, moving to set them on his desk. )

Was there something you wanted to talk about?

1/3 can't be tamed

[maddeninghatter]

[ He'd meant to pop out and be awful and intimidating, but it's sort of difficult to do that after having been ignominiously mousetrapped. Now his timing's off. Tch! ]

I was just--

Why were there five mousetraps there? They're in the wrong position anyway, you want to put them along the baseboard, where the mice run--

[maddeninghatter]

[ ...




wait. ]

[maddeninghatter]

Ooooozzzzzz~!

[ Doom-shaped things warble. ]

[velveteened]

( BACKS





AWAY )

Yes?

[maddeninghatter]

[ He sweeps up a nearby mousetrap and pulls on the mechanism. He pries it open partway and lets it go. SNAP! ]

These were intended for me.

[ Again - SNAP! ]

How kind, how thoughtful of you - and this Caesar. I'm sure I'll think of lots of entertaining uses for my new toys.

[velveteened]

( why this he's too young and pretty to die. )

I forgot they were there!

[maddeninghatter]

[ He cranks back the mechanism again. SNAP! ]

Huh?

[ He stops, abruptly, running his thumb along one of his (perfect) fingernails. It's broken off and ripped down to the quick. THANKS A LOT, OZ! ]

Tch! I'll deal with you later!

[ He sweeps up the remaining mousetraps, including the ones Oz is holding, and then moves towards the closet, clearly intending to disappear that way--



aaaaaaaaaand then he thinks better of it. With a SERIOUSLY CHEESED-OFF expression, he stalks out. Through the door. ]