pilot: (my friend here is a bouncer/florist.)
MOTHERFUCKER I SHOT FIRST ([personal profile] pilot) wrote in [community profile] exsilium2013-07-14 09:59 pm

video| joint post

[ the video switches on to the oddest not-odd couple. at least for those who know han seeing him accompanied by a nonhuman is not a surprise. except of the "big walking carpet" that usually follows han around garrus only fits the big and walking parts. an ewok climbs garrus to sit on his shoulders, the little guy chattering on to himself in his language.

the image is trained on han first who stares at it with such blatant disinterest it's a wonder his eyes aren't rolling into the back of his head.
]

I'm Han Solo, captain of the Millennium Falcon. [ yes, his baby gets a mention even if his baby is not here. ] My big friend here is Garrus Vakarian. We're not gonna bore you with warnings about the natives. If you want to go out and risk getting jumped on, that's on you. I'd say shoot 'em, but that's not politically correct.

[ why did he let himself get talked into this? what is happening with his life anymore, it is spiraling out of control. the big walking not carpet rolls his eyes, though from his place in the background it might be a little hard to see. not the most expressive alien on the place here. ]

Shooting them would be a terrible idea, you'll only piss them off more.


Yeah, yeah, I heard it the first twenty times. [ EYE ROLL. ] Anyway we're going to talk about something a little different. We're all aliens here. Before you start getting offended that you're from Earth — [ an aside to garrus that the tablet picks up anyway ] that has to be the worst name for a planet I've ever heard, next there's gonna be one called "Rock" — this isn't your version of it so you're an alien. But there's a difference between you and us. When we think interstellar, we don't think of Daft Punk. So we're here to give you a crash course on interspecies etiquette.

One, don't stare. You're just asking to get shot.

[ crickets. what? you're expecting him to contribute to this stupid list thing?

(he is starting to regret this friendship.) ]


Don't pull on anything. [ mandibles twitch, eyebrows narrow, a hand reaches up to touch the top of his head. okay that is all he is contributing, he's the peanut gallery now. ]


Yeah, that's a good one, my friend. Especially if you're not sure what it is. Actually that goes for everything. Keep your hands to yourself. Blasters and phasers are not toys. Neither are lightsabers. You see a man walking around with one? Go in the opposite direction. He's got a bit of a short temper. [ han, you are going to die. ]

[ a snort. ]

Lightsaber? [ really? ]


Yeah. Antiquated relic. I'll tell you about it later.

[ he clears his throat. ]

By the way, if any of you are any good at building, let us know. There might be an exciting career opportunity in your future.


(( note: your characters are free to recognize han from the movies but please please try to keep infodumping down to a minimum thank you c: ))
governorkang: (Default)

[personal profile] governorkang 2013-07-15 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
[He snorts softly. No offense taken.]

Draconian, actually. Before you ask, we were created from dragons by magic, hence the likeness.

We built siege engines such as trebuchets and ballistae, and fortifications of wood and stone. Our specialty was bridges.
Edited 2013-07-15 03:50 (UTC)
governorkang: (Sons-of-bitches command face)

[personal profile] governorkang 2013-07-15 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
[He notices the side glance and frowns slightly.]

We don't even have printing presses yet. [He's read enough to know that was a big leap for technology.] Outdated, but not primitive.
governorkang: (o rly bozak)

[personal profile] governorkang 2013-07-16 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
You didn't have to.
governorkang: (Neutral)

[personal profile] governorkang 2013-07-16 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
I've been around more than enough humans to know their facial expressions.

What do you need built?
governorkang: (Default)

[personal profile] governorkang 2013-07-16 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
Spaceships are beyond a good number of Transports here, not just me.

[He quirks one eyebrow ridge slightly. Clarification in the original post would have been a very good idea.]
governorkang: (Body language)

[personal profile] governorkang 2013-07-16 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
I may still be able to assist in some way, though, depending on what needs done.