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[caligulas_aquarium]

alright im gonna cut to the chase an keep this real simple im lookin for more a permanent an less shitty housin arrangement
but i aint about to lowwer myself to just stickin wwith the first chump wwho throwws out an offer cause i got a feww prerequisites regardin roommate etiquette im interested in actually havvin fulfilled this time cause the pair i got stuck wwith last time i wwas here had all the sense of a couple of howwler monkeys
one a wwhich couldnt stop himself from breakin shit half the time wwith his freaky mutant strength an the other wwith a broken thinkpan an a fetish for the spontaneous combustion of electronics
im avverse to keepin this short an swweet if only cause those a you wwith the attention span of a gnat wwho aint able to focus for the rest a this post probably aint my usual type a desired company
im evven wwillin to forego my usual manner a wwritin to make it a bit clearer for some a you slowwer sorts so be grateful
here goes

no pets
no psychological issues
no noises loud enough that i can hear em through the walls into my room
no unwanted social contact, no trespassing into my room without permission
no breaking anything in fits of rage
no sabotaging of my personal affairs
no attempting to share my romantic interests
no using my things
no guests after 7pm
no introducing me to your guests
no hogging the living room
no social events
no delusional belief in magic
no puns
decent sense of personal hygiene required
if you know, have ever known or are somehow associated with any of the following:
sollux captor, equius zahhak, gamzee makara, vriska serket, kanaya maryam, lalondes, harleys, striders, bariyan e kodhi or anyone who's spoken poorly of me probably on account of a mutual dislike we have of each other, don't bother applying

Comments

le text

[psych0p0mps]

it sounds to me like you might be happier with no roommate at all

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Oh hey it's-

...ngl Aradia he doesn't even remember your name.]

i wwould
and as it stands i got it in the wworks to evventually find a place a my owwn
but until then i aint got nowwhere to stay that dont reek a swweat an i gotta share wwith a bunch of other people its fuckin awwful
so its a system of progressivvely less shitty housin arrangements culminatin in an ideal sooner or later

[psych0p0mps]

[oh my god seriously eridan /dies]

why not just find a hive where nobody lives and move in there
i think thats how feferi and sollux found their place

[caligulas_aquarium]

yeah thats the plan
but im talkin in regards to the NOWW like wwhat am i meant to wwhile im lookin for this place an goin about the refurbishin process aside livve in the temporary housin place wwhich i aint about to do
hence the wwhole fuckin point a this wwhole combin through the riff raff business

[psych0p0mps]

youre using a pretty fine toothed comb there
im sure it goes without saying but with that many rules you probably wont get many takers

1/2

[caligulas_aquarium]

after all these answwers thats sorta becomin a bit more apparent wwith each one noww yeah
i guess the wwhole transport populations just gone to shit

[caligulas_aquarium]

also this is startin to bug me wwhich lowwblood wwere you again
the one in the four wwheeled devvice or eqs creepy mecha fetish

1/2

[psych0p0mps]

[psych0p0mps]

this is aradia
tavros is the one who used a four wheel device

[sure they were never close, but eridan seriously]

1/2

[caligulas_aquarium]

right right yeah
tavv an ara i got it noww

[caligulas_aquarium]

actually hold on ara sounds pretty fuckin awwful i cant in no good mind keep that up
wwhats your second name

[psych0p0mps]

megido

[ - as an afterthought]

youre not going to start calling me meg or something are you

[caligulas_aquarium]

[His immediate thought is in fact, yes, "Meg".]

wwhats wwrong wwith meg i mean it sounds like fifty fuckin times better than ara
it rolls off the tongue its catchy an its just one syllable id be sooner wwillin to meet someone goin by that instead of clunky old ara

plus evven if you say no im still gonna stick wwith it so you can either accept it or be difficult
do you really wwanna be knowwn as difficult meg

[psych0p0mps]

...
ok but i cant guarantee ill answer to it
because you are literally the only person to come up with such a convoluted system of nicknames
why cant you just call me aradia like everybody else

[caligulas_aquarium]

i could do a lotta things i could call fef feferi i could call you aradia i could refer to certain indivviduals by their actual givven names as opposed to derogatory wwitticisms but it just aint happenin

[psych0p0mps]

sigh
fine i guess it is not that big a deal

oh as long as we are here
do you mind if i ask you a few questions

[caligulas_aquarium]

if i can answwer em sure

[psych0p0mps]

ok
firstly how long have you been living here

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwell id half a swweep or so straight of bein here
i got booted out for a wwhile though an wwent back to the dream bubbles for about three months relativve to here
then got pulled back a month ago

[psych0p0mps]

booted out?
what do you mean
like they sent you back?

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwell yeah it happens
people drop outta here like flies on occasion other times its just the odd person here or there
an it aint too uncommon for people wwho leavve to come back but sometimes you got special cases wwherein folks wwhat left once come back only they remember their time spent here before

[psych0p0mps]

do they not normally remember 0_0

[caligulas_aquarium]

no its moreso the norm for returnin transports not to remember a thing
i mean as an example wwed about three kars twwo sols twwo fefs twwo gams and in none a those returns did they recall bein here before
wwhereas wwed the same nep twwice sorta an she remembered evverythin upon comin back
i reckon the only longstandin cases a single stayin trolls excludin the brief state a lifelessness back in the dream bubbles id taken before comin back is me an eq

[psych0p0mps]

[... and that means they're not even getting them from the same timeline every time. wow initiative good job there.]

i see
so who all is here right now do you know

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwe DO got an actual transport roster you can get through fiddlin about wwith your tablet you knoww
i mean ill let you off this time for bein ignorant on account a bein neww but you dont got an excuse not to look this shit up yourself meg

[Really, for all his talk of "don't be difficult".]

fef me eq vvris kan sol an you
also a note is wwe got twwo humans wwhod some sorta relations wwith a prevvious associate a mine wwho happened to be a lalonde claimin to be the descendent a that godawwful wwitch wwho wwrecked a husktop back on the meteor wwhen i tried chattin wwith her
theyre called jake an dirk but ivve no clue wwhether or not that means anything to you