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[caligulas_aquarium]

alright im gonna cut to the chase an keep this real simple im lookin for more a permanent an less shitty housin arrangement
but i aint about to lowwer myself to just stickin wwith the first chump wwho throwws out an offer cause i got a feww prerequisites regardin roommate etiquette im interested in actually havvin fulfilled this time cause the pair i got stuck wwith last time i wwas here had all the sense of a couple of howwler monkeys
one a wwhich couldnt stop himself from breakin shit half the time wwith his freaky mutant strength an the other wwith a broken thinkpan an a fetish for the spontaneous combustion of electronics
im avverse to keepin this short an swweet if only cause those a you wwith the attention span of a gnat wwho aint able to focus for the rest a this post probably aint my usual type a desired company
im evven wwillin to forego my usual manner a wwritin to make it a bit clearer for some a you slowwer sorts so be grateful
here goes

no pets
no psychological issues
no noises loud enough that i can hear em through the walls into my room
no unwanted social contact, no trespassing into my room without permission
no breaking anything in fits of rage
no sabotaging of my personal affairs
no attempting to share my romantic interests
no using my things
no guests after 7pm
no introducing me to your guests
no hogging the living room
no social events
no delusional belief in magic
no puns
decent sense of personal hygiene required
if you know, have ever known or are somehow associated with any of the following:
sollux captor, equius zahhak, gamzee makara, vriska serket, kanaya maryam, lalondes, harleys, striders, bariyan e kodhi or anyone who's spoken poorly of me probably on account of a mutual dislike we have of each other, don't bother applying

Comments

[flightybookshrew]

I think I would actually liken it more to the curiosity one might give to watching a lizard fail to adapt to the stimuli around it.
If you place a lizard in water, and then slowly raise the temperature of the water, it will let you boil it alive without ever reacting, despite the obviousness of its situation.
I'm certain you can see the similarities.

I was just making certain you were aware.

[caligulas_aquarium]

look wwere i to just accept some magic hoppin fuckwwit id get hassled ovver howw i aint dumb enough to think that shit is in any wway fake an id prefer not to havve to deal wwith it
its inane they aint about to change their stance on the issue so wwhy fuckin bother puttin up wwith it
wway i see it im doin EVVERYONE a favvor

bet youre thrilled anyhoww

[flightybookshrew]

I hardly see how being obtuse is a favor, though I suppose since it is your natural state we can hardly expect anything more.

I would prefer she be here and enamored with you, than have vanished back into our joint sessions.

[caligulas_aquarium]

yeah wwell it aint like she couldnt do a full on reveal for her vvanishin act an showw up again the initiativve aint exactly keen on keepin people poppin up here as one shots
then the pair a you can pal it up again an do the wwhole descendent ancestor deal wwhile you preemptivvely poison her against me that time around