♈ Aradia: Finally get around to showing your face. [video]

[psych0p0mps]

[The video feed opens on an alien teenager who some of you may never have seen before, dressed all in red and grinning widely. Most notably, though, she is wearing two eye patches, one over each eye. She gets right down to business.]

Is this working? Yes? It beeped, so I think so. Okay.

People of the internet, I have a quick question. [She points to the eyepatches.] On a scale of one to ten, how silly do these look?

Comments

[the_human]

Laaaaame. You gotta be you, dude! Rock out with your bad self. Wear the donk outta those eyepatches.

[biwinning]

I don't need them now, I'd wear them if I wath blind though.

[the_human]

You should wear them either way. That'd be even cooler. Plus, two colors! That's totally better than one.

[biwinning]

... Are you always thith excited about everything?

[the_human]

Aw, no, man. Not everything. Not when it's lame. Or evil. Or lamely evil.

[biwinning]

... Well yeah, evil shit doeth thuck.

[the_human]

Yeah it does. You're good, then? Are you a knight too? What's your name?

[biwinning]

It'th not tho eathy ath to jutht athk "are you good" or not. A bad guy could jutht thay yeth, a good guy could jutht thay no. And no. I'm a mage, not a knight. My name'th Thollux.

[the_human]

Woaaah, you're magic? That's awesome!

[He dismisses that first part for now, because yeah, they could, but Finn could totally tell if they were lying. He's, like, really good at this by now.]

What can you do?

[biwinning]

NO. Not magic. Magic is bullshit.

[the_human]

How can you be a mage if you don't like magic?

[biwinning]

Because I don't use magic. Magic can be explained with thcience, math and biology. Tho I use those. Not magic.

[the_human]

But you're a mage.

[biwinning]

I didn't pick the fucking title. It wath chosen for me.

[the_human]

Probably cuz you're, like, secretly a wizard, and have to do some growing and learning and stuff.

[biwinning]

Oh my god. Are you that thick? Do you eat rocks for breakfast?? I'm not secretly a wizard. "Mage" to me means different things than mage to you.

[the_human]

Dude. If you're gonna be a butt, I won't help you on your secret life journey quest.

[biwinning]

IT'S NOT MY SECRET LIFE JOURNEY QUEST! I ALREADY did that!

[the_human]

Not if you're all like oooh I'm a mage but nottttt, I mean, that's just stupid.

1/2

[biwinning]

[Frustrated groaning that probably sounds a little like Lemongrab.]

[biwinning]

Fine. You're right. I'm a mage. Mage of Doom. And I'm casting a spell of Doom on you right now. You're going to have bad luck all week and then die at the end. Have fun.

[the_human]

You didn't even say any magic words. You're not really good at this, are you?

[biwinning]

Oh for fucks sake. Fine.

[the_human]

Woah. That was really good! See, you totally are a mage!

[biwinning]

And now you're going to die.