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[ the name attached to this account, and thus with all applicable comments within this entry, reads Haruka Takahashi, as usual.
for those of you just joining us at home, some info. ]

If you're only interested in useful posts, you can skip the rest of this. I'm only out to waste the time of those who want it wasted, today.
For anyone else, color me curious.

Water, Wind, Light, Flame, Earth, or Darkness.

Pick one, please.

To clarify, "light" doesn't mean good and "darkness" doesn't mean evil, or bad. Or vice versa; there's no moral alignment to any of them.
And I didn't "skip heart", so don't bother bringing that up.

[ tetchy. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What Do You Want

[To go home is the answer she of course expects to receive - but hey maybe she'll cough up something else.]

To go back.

[ not home ]

[She notices that distinction of phrasing if only because her eyes track forward too far expecting a fourth word in that sentence and not finding it there. What else could have gone there - "in time"? Haruka is a creature of mystery and precision.]

Wouldnt You Be The Perfect Transport To Eventually Be Placed Into A Position Of Power
After Months Of Noncooperation
Making What Would From You Have To Be A Purely Rational And Perhaps Even Selfish Decision
That The Only Way To Guarantee You Get What You Want Is The United Earths Defeat And The End Of The War
Which Is Either True If Our Arrivals And Departures Really Cannot Be Controlled Meaning Hoping To Just Leave By Chance Could Not Be Assured
Or Else Just Exactly What The Initiative Wants You To Think

Like I said. If they know my strengths, then ours is the gamble of time—of who can be more patient, or more stubborn. Whether they will surrender, and send me back, or whether I will, and join their cause.

And I will not be beaten by something so flimsy as time.

[send me back - this time, the difference (distinction?) between "back" and "home" is even more noticeable. If she's talking about something of which the Initiative would certainly be capable rather than for which she just hopes irrationally - and this is Haruka for whom Hope by all evidence shown so far has little to no meaning to the point that she didn't want to include it as a separate category - back in time is not an option, is it?]

Id Point Out That With The Recent Reforms Getting An Actual Position Where Your Strengths Would Be Recognized And Fairly Compensated Might Not Even Be That Hard
But I Know Such Things Hold No Sway Over Your Sort Of Soul No Matter How Closely They May Cater To Your Less Than Impoverished Sensibilities
So What If I Pointed Out Instead That On May Twenty-First We All Learned "Back" May Not Be So Straightforward A Proposition As Some Of Us Would Like To Think

[She has to put air quotes around "back" because making one word the crux of the sentence is a problem in her quirk, but back home is not what she should use if Haruka is so reluctant to say it that way. Reluctance? No, not reluctance by itself. She's secretive but not baselessly...]

I'm well aware of what happened, in that one case.
But, tell me, how many names, how many Network Accounts are deactivated every month?
How many times do people mysteriously disappear, presumed returned to their original, or previous, times and worlds and universes?
How many people have you lost here?

[ what a strange way to put that... ]

[Original or previous - that sends a chill down Kanaya's vertebral tower, and she has to let her tablet settle in her lap for a moment, turn her head up and stare at light beams flickering off the ceiling. The black, not white, ceiling. She never thought of that as an option. And they keep making unilateral promises of salvation - return (home? Haruka won't say home) - that would damn her... what if...]

A Lot
Weve Really Been Hemorrhaging Trolls Lately

[And some of them are dead - he whom she did not kill is dead - and - and - and he wanted, or pretended, to trust her - and - and she never - and - and - and - and---

And she'll never see her brother again.]

What About You
Have You Allowed Yourself To Consider Any Of The Departures A Loss
Or Are You Even Now Waiting To Wake Up

No. Nobody worth crying over.

[ They wear the faces, but not the hearts, of the ones she's loved. ]

[She can't see her face; she reads the words and not between the lines. She shouldn't have expected anything other than this straightforward refusal.

(How many times did tears actually leave her eyes?)

She wouldn't want to make Haruka grieve, if tomorrow it turned out her time had finally run out leaving Painwheel and Nanami alone; but if she would that would make Kanaya happy. Tch. How irrational.]

Im Not Surprised
From What Ive Gathered You Dont Even Have Any Worldmates Here
The Almost Mandatory Corollary Of That Though Is A Lack Of Anyone Whom You Would Ever Allow Yourself To Consider Worth Crying Over
Which Sounds Strategically Sound But Terribly Lonely

It's not so bad for me. I'm used to being on my own.

You Didnt Live That Way Before Though

[SUDDENLY REMEMBERS ALLIGATOR GUY...?]

?

[ what... is she talking about........ shit ]

[She pounces on that surprised noodle like an exposed throat.]

You Werent Very Clear About It But Didnt You Formerly Live On The Top Floor Of A Tall Building Accompanied By At Least One Other Person
Whom You Described As Having A Fondness For Alliginators And Poor Personal Hygeine

Oh, that was after I was moved to New York. That was only a few years ago, so, even living with those guys, that doesn't make me unused to a greater isolation.

Whats New York
It Doesnt Sound Like A Location In Japan

[EARTH GEOGRAPHY: HER NEMESIS

Distracts her from asking what the other guy was like!!!]

It's not. It's a city on the eastern seaboard of the United States of America. North American continent.

[Casually... brings up a map of 2000s Earth in her other tab...]

Id Been Under The Impression You Were From Japan
Or Is That The Location From Which You Moved Then

That's right. I'm from Tokyo originally.

[ no she isn't ]

[What is Tokyo

Aha! The capital. Okay. She's still a little blurry on what a capital is...]

Im Sorry That I Havent Ever Learned Much About What Would Motivate Shifting Across Borders I Barely Understand In The First Place So Im Not Contextualizing This Very Well

[A transparent way of asking "why did you move"...]

It wasn't by choice. Parents, business, that sort of thing. Even if I never saw them, it made them feel better if I was closer by.

[ she will absolutely remember this story. ]

So You Were Born In Japan
But Your Parents Moved To The United States
And Then After Such A Long Period Of Abandonment That The Part Of Your Life Endured In Isolation Is Long Relative To A Subsequent Few Years
They Sent For You To Come With Them
Though Not So That You Could Spend A Significant Proportion Of Your Time Together Under Their Direct Supervision And Not Just Indirect Protection
But Instead Allowed You To Reside In The Company Of Other Rather Dubious Individuals To Whom Your Omissions Indicate You Are Not Even Genetically Related
Inducing A General State Of Discontent In The Heart Of Haruka Takahashi Strong Enough That Upon Her Arrival Here In Spite Of Completely Detesting This New Situation She Must Acknowledge She Did Abhor Her Previous Life

How Much Of This Have I Misunderstood

[She will absolutely remember the incoherence of this story.]

I didn't abhor it.
They didn't move there until later on; they traveled a lot, which is why they were never around. Then, when they planned to settle in NY, I went with them. We all lived together for about a year, two years, before they left me.
After that, I lived by myself for a very long time; those guys were people I knew who needed a place to stay. My parents never met them; there was no "allowing," because I don't seek permission from a person who doesn't love me.

This Has A Lot Of Discrepancies From What I Was Told About Human Familial Structures
But I Wont Pretend To Understand Those
What I Do Pretend To Understand Is That Abhor Is A Stronger Version Of
Dislike

[Don't make her link you to her own post, Haruka.

She might really do it.]

I know what abhor means.

[SHE CAN'T SEE HER SMILE BUT SHE CAN FEEL THE PASSIVE AGGRESSION FROM HERE ANYWAY

SHE'S GOING TO DO IT SHE WILL DO IT RIGHT NOW]

Girl dislikes her situation, the way her life is going, the way people treat her, wishes she were anywhere else but there.

What Way
Do You Want People To Treat You

[What Way Do You Want Me To Treat You]

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okay it's going to be locked forever and i am done with subject titles

chews on fingers

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