video;

[velveteened]

( oz has spent some time practicing, so when the video feed comes on, it's steady and propped up to give a good view of him in the living room of his apartment. he shoots the camera a grin before holding up a helmet that may seem familiar to some people. )

Hello, everyone! You won't believe what I found today. ( a meow can be heard off-screen, and he corrects himself - ) Or more correctly, Li Jun did. Something like this must belong to someone, right?

( he hefts it up closer to the camera so that viewers on the network can get a better view. it's probably clear he basically thinks it's one of the coolest things ever. a real helmet like what a real knight would have!! maybe even what one of his favorite fictional knights would wear while doing something gallant.

it would probably be rude to put it on his head. which is what he does a moment later, cheerfully, because look okay how many chances like this does one get!! the network gets a wave before he takes it off and adds, )

Well, if it someone's, I wouldn't want to keep it from you. So tell me if it's yours, alright?

Comments

[imperfect]

[After that outburst he reins himself in again, although now the only thing glassy about his tone is that you could cut yourself on it.] Why? Just because you're picking on Al doesn't give me the right to discriminate.

[velveteened]

If I were trying to pick on him, I wouldn't be looking for him to return it.

[imperfect]

Yeah, right. And I bet next you're gonna argue this was the only way you could've looked.

[A beat.]

Look, everyone's got a hobby, okay?

[velveteened]

( everyone's...what. )

That's true, but mine isn't stealing armor. Unless you mean yours is threats over the network?

[imperfect]

I mean it's none of your business what people want to wear in their free time!

[velveteened]

Like suits of armor?

( a little too innocently. )

[imperfect]

[It takes a valiant effort on his part to stop just shy of outright hollering.]

Why the hell not suits of armour?

[velveteened]

No, there's no reason at all! Besides, I understand why he does.

[imperfect]

Then get your own, and parade that around in front of everyone for all I care! There's no call to start acting like an idiot with someone else's stuff!

[velveteened]

- I was going to say, because he's a knight, right? They need things like suits of armor.

[imperfect]

...Did he tell you he was a knight?

[velveteened]

He didn't have to!

[imperfect]

[Ed's vocal cords briefly overtake his brain.] Well...

[It is a ready-made excuse, and plausible as far as he knows for now, but if he just shoots his mouth off without having been around for every single conversation Al might have had about it, the lie's going to be really obvious.

...But nobody's going to care that much about just a couple of teens in all of this crowd.

...But it's never a good idea to underestimate how obnoxious a kid can be. That's something he knows from experience, even if it was mostly from the other side of the fence... which he couldn't see over at the time, and...

He snaps back to the argument at hand with a small strangled noise. Oh, screw this.]

No, he didn't, because he isn't one. It's a hobby, like I said. And I should know.

[velveteened]

( he breathes out imperceptibly. it's the sort of thing he's claimed with "perfect" sincerity at those who thought to ask him why this alphonse seems so attached to having the helmet (not that he knows the real reason, of course, but his purpose with this post was hardly to put anyone at risk of having any secrets exposed), but if this person won't go along with it, then that's that. )

You should?

[imperfect]

Of course I should! He's my brother! What else would you expect?

[Maybe he should have tried to go anonymous before violently threatening a kid, but hey, bit late now.]

[velveteened]

( that...explains a lot )

Nothing at all! ( laughs, but not meanly ) He's lucky to have such a concerned older brother.

( older, because - really. or maybe it's easier to tell being one himself. )

[imperfect]

[Ed assumes it's just the natural aura of maturity and responsible older siblinghood he radiates, and doesn't seize on the point.

Relatedly, he's going to interpret that inoffensive laugh in the worst way possible.]

I'm telling you, kid! What you need to be concerned about is keeping a better eye on your damn cat if you like the shape it is!

[velveteened]

From threatening kids to cats?!

( SHOCK AND HORROR.

no he's just screwing with ed now. )

[imperfect]

[Ed, for the most part, is screwed with.]

Oh, you think I'm kidding? Is that it?

[alphonse]

Brother!

[He means to say more than this, really, but today is not his day for getting things right on the first try.]

Don't bring the poor cat into it!

[imperfect]

Don't think I'm done with you either, Al! You know better!

[And don't interrupt him when it's Al's earlier verbal slip-up he's trying to smooth over! (Keyword: trying.)]

[alphonse]

[Oh no, his precious (imaginary) cool guy reputation!]

Being so embarrassing isn't going to help!

[imperfect]

How am I the embarrassing one here?! [Al should damn well know what he's referring to!]

[alphonse]

[Oh, he certainly does. So his arguing comes out a lot less heatedly than he would like.]

By making things worse. You jumped straight to threatening him!

[velveteened]

( just pops in for - )

And my cat!

( okay that's all carry on. he'll just popcorn.gif from over there )