exsilium | voice;

[You know what, Exsilium? Trying to figure out his own shit is giving Sam a headache. So he's going to try to figure out yours.]

Got a couple things on the agenda today so bear with me. Who knows, this just may end up saving your life down the line. So first thing first - if you see a ghost? RUN. Safest place to be, if ghosts here act like they should, is inside a salt circle, or in a room whose entrances are all guarded by undisturbed salt lines. Fill you in on it when it's tested, but it's better than nothing for now. If you can't run? Grab anything iron to defend yourself. Ghosts are weak to it.

Item number two - raise your arm if you have no idea how the judicial system works here. If you do, explain it to the best of your understanding. The point of this is to eventually make a comprehensive accessible document. Laws and rights are kinda basic knowledge in a civilized society.

Item number three - looking for someone? Want people from home to know you're here the moment they arrive, wanna let people know someone disappeared? Give me names, and I'll make an organized list we can pass around. There're a lot of posts on this network and it's way too easy to miss things. If you're looking for volunteers for anything, I can make a list for that too.

Item number four - been on missions, willing to talk about your experiences on them, or just in Exsilium in general? I wanna hear all about it. Anonymously is just fine too.

[Oh right]

Name's Sam Winchester, and if you're new, welcome aboard. Feel free to ask every question, if I can give you an answer I will.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And I worked with them. You keep smoothing over that fact.

You're not the first or last to make that mistake.

Did you make it?

Dad sure as hell would say so. [ just look at cas. he knows it's different, not the same at all, but still. ]

That's not what I asked - what's that even mean?

Doesn't matter. [ a wave of his hand. ] Look, what I'm sayin' is, you're blamin' yourself for things you didn't do, Sam, not really. So stop.

You know what, Dean? If I ever become the kind of guy who can get that kinda news and not feel guilty? Just shoot me in the head, cuz that's really being a monster.

I'm not sayin' everything that happened didn't suck, Sam. But you-- we had a good reason for it all, okay? Can't you freakin' trust me on that?

[he almost laughs] trust you? Cuz you're Mr. Objective when it comes to me, right? Cuz I'm suposed to believe that this was actually the worst of it, that you're not still keeping the best under wraps?

[ woah sam. :c ]

What the hell makes you think I'm still hidin' something?

The fact that I know you. The fact you've never told me the whole truth if you could help it in your life - you always always try to shield me from the worst. And if this isn't the worst...

Well, you're wrong. You dyin's the worst thing that's happened, Sammy. But you came back, and-- [ and then it turned out cas was working with crowley to release the leviathans and shit went down, and nothing was nice. but alas. ] --sure, things were still a mess but with the two of us 'round we stood a much better chance than just me.

[You dyin's the worst thing that's happened. No, he doesn't doubt that it was the worst thing that happened to Dean, and he finally softens a little.

This is hard on Dean too, he has to remind himself.]

There's a difference between what's the worst thing that's happened and what's the worst thing I did. Seems to me that dying's the best thing I did.

[And he's scared to do it. How can he admit that? Especially now that he knows he has it coming?]

[ he'd have punched you by now if this wasn't over the network. ]

Can you just quit sayin' you dying was somehow good? It wasn't, okay-- nothing is worth that. [ he'd saved the world with his death, but then dean had lost his brother and he'd let the world burn to keep him... ] But it did happen, and you-- I don't know, served your time. You paid for whatever you might have done wrong. So stop with the blaming.

[Maybe that's what he wants - to get that punishment already, to know that he won't go off the rails here too.]

Dean - I put the world in danger, I put you in danger. There's no amount of time serving that can be enough, ok?

[And yeah, after going through it he'll sing a different tune. But for now just the thought of what he made Dean go through is enough to condemn him for all eternity in his own eyes.]

[ running a hand through his hair, dean sighs. ]

Yeah, there is. And you've done it, you're good. Just-- freaking Cas saved you and everything, remember? Why would he if you didn't deserve to be?

[He's got an easy answer for that.]

Cuz of you.

[ well damn. dean deflates a little. ]

But also 'cause you're his friend, and he knows you didn't deserve to die-- like everyone does.

Dean - I came up pretty damn close to killing everyone.

But you didn't.

[ they can keep doing this forever. ]

[They just may end up doing just that.

He shakes his head.]

It's no wonder you don't trust me, I wouldn't trust me either.

Sam-- [ no gdi you he's had enough. ]

So what're you gonna do 'bout it then, Sam? 'Cause if you're plannin' some-- [ and he hates to even say this. ] --suicide mission, you'll have another thing coming.

I'm planning on doing whatever the hell I can to make things better.

[If that includes a suicide mission, well that's just fine with him.]

Then you can damn well expect me to be right there with you.

[ to keep it from going that far. big bro breathing down your neck mode activated. ]

Yeah you gonna be right there with me working on law?

[He'll bore you til you quit X(]

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ganking - 2013-05-29 10:23 (UTC) - Expand

bikininspector - 2013-05-29 10:25 (UTC) - Expand

ganking - 2013-05-29 10:35 (UTC) - Expand

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