exsilium | voice;

[You know what, Exsilium? Trying to figure out his own shit is giving Sam a headache. So he's going to try to figure out yours.]

Got a couple things on the agenda today so bear with me. Who knows, this just may end up saving your life down the line. So first thing first - if you see a ghost? RUN. Safest place to be, if ghosts here act like they should, is inside a salt circle, or in a room whose entrances are all guarded by undisturbed salt lines. Fill you in on it when it's tested, but it's better than nothing for now. If you can't run? Grab anything iron to defend yourself. Ghosts are weak to it.

Item number two - raise your arm if you have no idea how the judicial system works here. If you do, explain it to the best of your understanding. The point of this is to eventually make a comprehensive accessible document. Laws and rights are kinda basic knowledge in a civilized society.

Item number three - looking for someone? Want people from home to know you're here the moment they arrive, wanna let people know someone disappeared? Give me names, and I'll make an organized list we can pass around. There're a lot of posts on this network and it's way too easy to miss things. If you're looking for volunteers for anything, I can make a list for that too.

Item number four - been on missions, willing to talk about your experiences on them, or just in Exsilium in general? I wanna hear all about it. Anonymously is just fine too.

[Oh right]

Name's Sam Winchester, and if you're new, welcome aboard. Feel free to ask every question, if I can give you an answer I will.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Missed her lovely face? You should!!! Yeah she's tilting her head slightly at all this. ]

Salt and iron? You speak as if you battled ghosts before. [ c: ]

You also sound like a man who seeks to busy his mind from idle thoughts.

[Always]

Been doing it since I was short.

[You can guess how long that's been]

Nothing wrong with that, right?

Just ghosts? Or do you fight other creatures as well?

[ She certainly can, and she cannot help but picture a shorter Sam clad in armor. It is an amusing image. ]

Of course not. [ A beat. ] But it makes me wonder what thoughts you do not want to linger upon.

I wish, no, we take on anything that's hurting people.

[Hunters don't get armor.

If he was any kind of man he'd tell her. Warn her that she shouldn't spend time with him. That there's something evil in him, an ability to do all the wrong things.

But he'd be so lonely without her friendship. And he's selfish, always been.]

Things I shouldn't.

[ Would you take on me?

She pushes the thought aside, forcing practiced softness onto her face. ]

Busying yourself will not banish those thoughts. [ She should know, she lives with them every waking moment. She rages at her inability to do anything, that she must sit on her hands forced into a war she wants no part of. ]

Are you alright?

[It's really moving, how good his friends are to him, how much they care. It's enough to have him show his face to her once he privates the feed - as private as it can be that is when you distrust the network - and offer her something. He's not sure what. But she deserves some sort of explanation.

Especially since she saw him on his birthday.]

It won't, but it's the best I can do to make up for them. [He pauses] You should know I'm -- [what. A monster? The one who almost ends the world?] I'm not as good a person as I want to be.

[ It says something of how he considers her, to show his face and hand her answers. As vague as they are. He trusts her more than she does him.

She sighs, looking off camera for a short moment. ]

What defines "good", Sam?

That's a question people much smarter than I struggled with for centuries. I don't pretend to be a philosopher...

[The short answer for him? Is simply Dean. So he describes him.]

But I guess to simplify it, I'd say it's trying your damnedest to make everything right, make sure as many people as possible come out in one piece from whatever mess you're dealing with, and not creating that mess to begin with.

[ Not her, judging by his description. She thinks to laugh- almost does too, yet by some luck she does not. ]

And you are not these things, are you?

I could write the book on making messes. Or the encyclopedia, even.

The ability to make messes does not make you bad.

Making bad choice after bad choice after bad choice doesn't make you good, either.

You are neither, Sam.

[Evil by mistake. Is that really any better than evil on purpose? He should know better, he's supposed to be smart.]

I'm glad one of us s'sure about that.

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