exsilium | video; a work in progress

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video; a work in progress

( Audio picks up the sound of industrial construction, either things familiar in woodshop, car garages, or anywhere of a similar sort. When the feed goes live, Collette is framed to one side, looking forward and away from the camera. She's clearly resting on her arms, and given the angle of the ground on the screen, she's probably lying on her stomach in order to do this. She glances over her shoulder, eyes going to something behind the tablet being used for recording, then smiles as her eyes drop down to the tablet itself. For all intents and purposes, the camera is positioned to make the viewing audience seem like they're side by side with Collette, wherever it is she is, keeping a low profile in this industrialized looking area. Concrete floor that she's resting on, packing boxes ahead of her, bundles of cables and chains glimpsed somewhere past her head. )

Guys! ( She keeps her voice low, not a whisper (they carry further, and can't be heard about the ambient noise), but low to avoid excessive attention. ) Anyone else catch where they dragged the ship off to with that giant crane after the crash? I wondered about that. But I've got news!

( She makes a waving motion at the camera, and it shifts, jarringly, to leave Collette off screen and show something covered in plastic and wiring and cables, a few Initiative workers using welding guns, others wheeling parts away or calling out shouts of questions over the sounds of construction. )

They say the spaceship's salvageable!

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[ He wasn't expecting that! Which shows in how he turns to give her a startled look. It covers up the sudden dread he feels. Talk about her? He thinks back, to that very same time weeks ago.

Had he said anything?

He can't quite remember. A lot of it has faded into a blur of pain and fever dreams, up until the point he'd woken up, recovering, in the hospital. ]

Talk about who?

Your killer kisser. Ms. Nobody!

( She's almost amused at his surprise. But she's serious, which mitigates some of that amusement. )

The reason why you were sick. I know it can't be anything you caught, we were all in the same place the whole two weeks earlier, and there's no way your immune system's worse than mine. So it's not even an illness.

( And she's been thinking... and not liking the spy movie action thriller thoughts she's been having. )

[ So he had. Miss Nobody, huh? ]

I also thought I was back in the Grasslands being bothered by a basket dog. I'm sure that was only another delusion, Collette.

( She gives him a bland smile. )

No bullshit, please. ( Collette blinks, coloring slightly -- she's surprised at her own language, though she feels she shouldn't be. ) You were out of it at first, but you knew what you were talking about enough to try to lie about it even when you were burning up with fever.

( It's still scary, remembering Scary agian because if it's not an illness, if it's caused by a someone -- and now, she really thinks it was -- then it has that potential of happening again. )

Look, it just isn't anything you need to know about, okay?

[ It was just business. A contract. A horrible, terrifying one that nearly killed him, sure, and maybe he'll truly convince himself of that one day if he keeps thinking that. ]

( She makes a noise of frustration, narrowing her eyes at him and pursing her lips. And he's the one saying she doesn't get it! )

Nuh-uh, you don't get to lecture me about this, then turn around and say that!

( Collette reaches out for him, tugging him toward her with no respect for personal boundaries. This is important to her, and he's being -- he's being stubborn and stupid and even if she might get why someone would be, she doesn't appreciate it one whit! )

It's not that I don't need to know, it's that you don't want to tell me. Remember what happened the last time you decided I didn't need to know something because it was easier for you not to say? "It was supposed to be okay, you were never supposed to follow her!" It's important to me. And I think it's more important than you want to admit to yourself, too, to not keep it all locked up inside you like that actually makes it totally okay. 'Cause it does for a while, but not for forever.

( People are supposed to have those they trust around them. She won't ask for everything -- she doesn't want it -- but a measure of trust and an understanding of why seems important to her. She doesn't want to see it happen again. )

Even if you really wished it did.

It's completely different!

[ Elza isn't actively wishing death upon him!

He makes an irritated sound when she pulls him closer and he leans away, though hardly with enough effort to fight it. It's like a lazy cat that doesn't want to sit still in someone's lap before it decides to on its own, really. He's mostly annoyed that she had to bring up her own encounter with the very same assassin. There's logic to it. She'll figure it out on her own eventually, with only so many potential options for it.

Then what? Then he keeps leaving her in the dark so she has to go confront Elza? He knows how that would end. Which begs the question, considering who she brought up all on her own, if she has... ]

Though I have to wonder if you already know the answer anyway. At least part of it.

[ He refuses to look at her throughout this, glumly glowering at the far wall instead. ]

( She tugs more insistently, ignoring the sound of irritation. The only thing that makes her pause is his statement she might already know the answer. At least part of it. But she didn't, did she? Collette racked her brain, going over their turn in conversation. What could he mean?

With him resolutly glaring at the far wall, he might not see her perplexed look slowly shift toward dawning understanding. Or more like dawning dread, given how unsettled Elza makes her feel. )

Elza?

( Couldn't have been Clive; he'd been back in the UE still at the time. There's no one she can think of with a motive to attack Caesar like that -- heck, even Elza doesn't make sense. Hence her wide eyed demand, tamping down on the surge of adrenaline through her system that coursed through, right along with the concern and sharp tang of fear. )

If it was her, why did she...? How -- ! No, sorry, I get the how, but -- but why?

Got it in one. See? You really can use your brain.

[ This prrrrobably isn't a good time to poke fun at her, Caesar. Oh well, he'll do it anyway, trying to make this all seem that much less serious. At least he gives up fighting the tugging, either too lazy to keep at it or simply seeing no point in being difficult now that the culprit has been guessed. ]

Don't get too jealous, though. She's an awful kisser, just like I said. [ When poison is involved. ] She decided me leaving Clive behind called for a new contract to be opened. That if he wasn't back within a few days after the crash, she would kill me. I didn't realize that I had been poisoned until I started feeling it hours later.

Edited 2013-05-25 14:26 (UTC)

Whatever you say, Tinman!

( When he's given up resisting, she pulls him into a fierce hug, at odds with the light tone making a joke about the joke about the joke about her hating to think when it's most of what she tells him to do. )

Where I come from, we don't call that a contract, we call that a threat. Stupid! Idiot! Jerk!

( Not very nice aspersions to be casting his way, but there's a tremor in her body past the jarring vehemence of the words she's using. She already knew he was scared of these people. She'd already thought having Clive along, no matter how short, wasn't a great idea (and she'd been right as far as she was concerned, considering the collateral damage with Onyx), and now she hears that it got even worse.

Elza, assassin or otherwise, wasn't a stable person. Her behavior was indicative of that, though Collette supposes maybe that makes her a better, more ruthless assassin. Whoopee for her! )

You were dying. That's not wanting to kill you, that's saying you're dead unless she fixes it. Dead!

( Dammit, she will not cry, she will not! Angry, scared tears threaten anyway, and she blinks furiously to make them go away. )

Edited (drat you spelling) 2013-05-25 19:24 (UTC)

I think threats and contracts are basically the same thing to them. It's all business.

[ He holds himself stiffly in her arms, generally uncomfortable with the hug, though it turns out too uncomfortable to do that over more than a moment or two. He'll relax eventually, eventually, give it a few. ]

But she did fix it. Isn't that what matters? [ He's alive! He didn't die! It was a nightmare-inducing experience, but still! ] I knew they would get Clive back here in time, so it's not like I was going to die...

[ It would have taken the rescue party running into some huge problem to throw those calculations off. ]

( It's stupid, because she knows these are the same sort of things she'd be saying to make it not seem like a big deal. "It worked out!" and a more faith based version of "I knew they'd be back in time!" On this side of it, it doesn't sound nearly as reassuring.

Collette gives him a brief squeeze with her arms, continuing to hold him in a hug she needs even if he was going to be resistant. She knows he's not big on physical contact. She still thinks that maybe he needs this, too. )

It shouldn't have been something that needed fixing. And you were dying! ( She felt the hot sting of tears finally overwhelm her eyes, closing them and turning her head in toward his neck. Stupid, stupid...! ) Even I know one stupid antidote given too late won't fix what it's caused in damage, the body doesn't work that way. You were lucky, and so was she!

[ She's probably right. A hug can do a lot for someone, even if it isn't something Caesar himself would ever admit. When it becomes obvious she has no intention to let go, he gives up and leans back against her bonelessly. ]

Isn't this the same kind of conversation we were having just before now? Only you were explaining away why it's fine for you to get hurt because you know you'll be okay? [ At least maybe now she'll know how everyone else feels! Though he doesn't feel very triumphant over that. Especially since he thinks... ] Are... you crying?

[ Oh crap, is she? How is he supposed to deal with a crying girl?! ]

( She gives her head a small shake, squeezing him again now that he's resting against her chest. It's only apparent that she's crying, she doesn't need to admit to it, does she? Only it's not like he won't be feeling when her tears start falling onto him. They'll soak through, sooner or later. )

M-maybe. ( Her breath hitches, and she adds; ) Maybe not.

( So much for a convincing performance. She leaves it off entirely to confess. )

I was scared and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if the doctors were coming, or who was there, or who to call for, and you were so sick -- and I thought you were supposed to starve a fever, but then you were so hot, so I got that stupid copper bowl and the water and tried to help but --

( she has to swallow in her ramble, and while it's all a revisitation, it's scarier realizing the cause is still out there. just... waiting for a reason to turn in a new threat, for a new reason that doesn't follow sensible logic. )

-- but you were in pain, and I couldn't do anything. Then they finally got there with the stretcher and they had you in the hospital and everyone was saying, "He's not going to make the next twenty-four hours" and running tests but the tests weren't showing a cause and the antibiotics didn't do anything and all they could do was give you fluids and the stupid nurse --

( These are her own worries, and her concerns. Things she really doesn't want people knowing about, or knowing she thinks about, because it doesn't fit with how she prefers to view the world. Looking for the bright sides, glossing over the dark parts. Not focusing in on the scary things.

She doesn't let herself dwell, and feels almost weirdly guilty to be saying anything at all, but relieved at the same time. He is okay, but he'd almost not been. And he had to know how frightening that'd been. If it scared her, she can imagine how much it had to have scared him, too.

I hadn't realized she'd poisoned me until later. What had that been like? Finding out the threat wasn't for the future, but was already in progress? Knowing anything delaying the rescue group meant feeling yourself die over something so stupid as an unexpected change in plans that kept Cliver safer for the UE being directed and disorientated miles and miles away from his current position?

She gives him another squeeze, cutting herself off. Most of this has been confessed into his neck and shoulder, really, but she won't keep burdening him with the rest. It's not fair. )

Edited 2013-05-28 07:25 (UTC)

[ It's not a point of view he'd really thought about, for all he had tried explaining to Collette how her actions effect people. Him, though? Is he guilty of the same problem? He's quiet for a long time after she finishes spilling out all those feelings, letting her cry without drawing attention to it again. He shouldn't have asked about them, if she was crying, it'd been obvious and asking was just... And none of it even happened to her, she only had to sit by and watch it! Shouldn't he be more upset?

Is he?

Obviously there's a problem if he's balking at a kiss from someone he actually likes, right? He had thought about dying. There had to have been some point where he was scared and not just for the people who kept trying to help him, but in the end, hadn't he just pushed that all back with assuring himself he was right and he'd be fine?

In the end, all he can do is apologize. ]

I sure to end up saying sorry to you a lot. [ He tries to be flippant about it, trying to disguise to uncertainty in his own voice. ] But I am. I should have said something.

[ He raises a hand to rest it on the arms she has wrapped around him so tightly. ]

I'm not going to try and use them for anything else, okay? I thought I could handle dealing with the Guild, but in the end I guess I was just being a stupid kid.

( Just like that, all the anger dissipates. Hers burns hot and fast when it comes around, and mingled in as it'd been with the rest, it didn't have a lot to sustain it. Especially not when he apologizes.

She laughs, or attempts to, a huff of amusement that sounds as wet and thick as her throat is. She has to swallow twice before she can say anything, and who's to say that what she does manage is worth sharing? )

Thank you.

( Is it for the apology? Or the statement? She doesn't ask, like she half wants to, for a promise. She doesn't want to deal with it getting broken somewhere down the line, if he does think he's gotten the perspective to use the tools at his disposal. )

You made a big mistake. Jerk.

( There's no heat behind it, and she tries, valiantly, to control how she's breathing. Making herself stop crying is more effort than she can muster, but she holds back on the audible sounds that want to escape.

Unfortunately, she ends up holding her breath to do so. The resulting hiccups take her first by surprise. Then it's hilarious -- annoying and hilarious. )

Oh come -- ( hic ) -- on!

( Hiccuping again, she picks her head up, even if she doesn't relax her hold on him. Not yet! Her irritated amusement gives way to helpless hiccuping laughter, the tears coming more slowly. )

This is just getting ridic-- ( hic! ) --ulous!

[ He didn't start laughing at her right away, instead turning enough in her arms to look back at her and raise an eyebrow, as if to say 'Really? All that drama and then hiccups, really?'

But he doesn't say that. No, he just turns back and then he starts laughing, though he does try to save some dignity by muffling it against the back of a hand at first. That's difficult with her pinning his arms with a hug, though, so he gives up and just outright guffaws over it. ]

You can't even stay serious when you mean to, you know that?

[ He manages to add that to the list of complaints eventually, between chuckles, but it's not exactly serious. He sounds more relieved than anything else. He's needed a stupid reason to laugh like this for awhile now. ]

( Really. Really really. Collette continues laughing, all the more helpless with it, until her tears are from laughing and she gasps between holding her breath to drive the hiccups away. Thus her answer to his complaint is a sound of amused frustration.

But she does manage to say something after a while: )

It's a talent. Want it? We can -- ( hic! ) -- trade!

Hmmmm. [ Let him think about that. ] No deal. I'm pretty sure the seriousness is attached to my superior intellect. It'd be all wrong to switch that around.

( She laughs, hiccuping yet again as she finally relaxes her hold on him -- just to pull him in for a noogie! )

Oh yeah? I think you could use a direct injection of silliness every so often! Give a break to that big superior intellect. It must get awfully stuck up taking itself serious all of the time!

( Ah-hah! This has restored her from her hiccups, as well as ending her tears, if not making her face look any more presentable with the clear, continuing evidence of crying. )

[ What. What! What is she doing to his scalp! Ugh, not a noogie! Caesar flails a bit before reaching up to try and grab the offending fist grinding away through his hair! ]

Watch it! That stings! [ It's a minor complaint, all in all. Just him whining this time. ] It's not its fault it's better than all the others, okay?

( She lets him catch her hand, relenting in the motion if not the hold on him. Which is sort of awkward by now, but she doesn't particularly care.

She's definitely laughing, even if she sounds congested from crying. )

Better? Ha! It needs to come out and breathe, get away from all that stuffy better than thou act. Come play with the plebs, hmm?

( Completely unable to take the seriousness clause to mean anything, she ducks her head down again. It's a calculated risk, based exactly on what he's just confessed and her own version of -- well, dealing with things. )

There's only one way to fix that!

( The sting: one way to fix the sting. Collette intially intends to press her lips against his tmple, but no way was that working with current angles. So he gets a featherlight kiss on his forehead, above an eyebrow.

For her efforts, she's most likely going to get a delicious taste of hair stuck to lips. Bummer! But it's about a different resolve. Okay, he was weird about getting kissed on the lips, an attempt on his life is gonna do that. She still feels he needs a thousand good reasons to stop having the one bad case rest prominently on his mind.

So if his lips are off limits for now, that leaves the rest of him at her disposal. (Poor guy. She'd warned him, after all!) )

The plebs tend to be unwashed.

[ Which isn't exactly true, but always a good fallback excuse. With the conversation leading away from his uncomfortable near-death and its cause, even with the noogie, he's becoming less and less tense over it, except when he leans over him again. There's a tiny second or two where he holds very still suddenly and...

Then all she does is kiss his forehead. For that, there's no panic, which brings quite the relief, and so he rolls his eyes at her before wiggling his way into a better position to flop unceremoniously onto her lap. Since she's in the way, he'll just use that as a pillow and let his own legs dangle over the bed's edge. ]

What are you, a grandmother all of the sudden?

( She snorts, lips quirked at the corner. What she'd been looking to test was reaction. Based on his, she thinks maybe, maybe if she gets him used to being kissed at all, it'll slowly take away some of the fear.

Makes for an interesting prospect all on its own, regardless of real logic or chance of success and/or failure. Of course, trust her to get a boyfriend and still never get kissed. (Vanadi didn't count!)

One hand gets tossed out behind her to support herself while he wriggles around. An eyebrow quirks up as she looks down at him. )

Do grandmothers do that? I thought they lectured you about eating your vegetables and called you embarrassing names, like snoogums or dearheart, and pinched your cheeks.

( She rubs the back ofher wrist across her eyes, then brushes first one cheek, than the other, with the side of her hand. Then she laughs! )

Talk about a total transformation! Sixteen to sixty-three. Man, that'd be so weird!

Supposedly. Or mothers, I guess.

[ Not nannies, though. That would have been waaaay too weird. ]

You could technically do that, couldn't you? Just acquire a little old lady and putter around, baking everyone cookies and telling them to wash their faces all the time.

video; a work in progress

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