exsilium | video; a work in progress

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video; a work in progress

( Audio picks up the sound of industrial construction, either things familiar in woodshop, car garages, or anywhere of a similar sort. When the feed goes live, Collette is framed to one side, looking forward and away from the camera. She's clearly resting on her arms, and given the angle of the ground on the screen, she's probably lying on her stomach in order to do this. She glances over her shoulder, eyes going to something behind the tablet being used for recording, then smiles as her eyes drop down to the tablet itself. For all intents and purposes, the camera is positioned to make the viewing audience seem like they're side by side with Collette, wherever it is she is, keeping a low profile in this industrialized looking area. Concrete floor that she's resting on, packing boxes ahead of her, bundles of cables and chains glimpsed somewhere past her head. )

Guys! ( She keeps her voice low, not a whisper (they carry further, and can't be heard about the ambient noise), but low to avoid excessive attention. ) Anyone else catch where they dragged the ship off to with that giant crane after the crash? I wondered about that. But I've got news!

( She makes a waving motion at the camera, and it shifts, jarringly, to leave Collette off screen and show something covered in plastic and wiring and cables, a few Initiative workers using welding guns, others wheeling parts away or calling out shouts of questions over the sounds of construction. )

They say the spaceship's salvageable!

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[ She's probably right. A hug can do a lot for someone, even if it isn't something Caesar himself would ever admit. When it becomes obvious she has no intention to let go, he gives up and leans back against her bonelessly. ]

Isn't this the same kind of conversation we were having just before now? Only you were explaining away why it's fine for you to get hurt because you know you'll be okay? [ At least maybe now she'll know how everyone else feels! Though he doesn't feel very triumphant over that. Especially since he thinks... ] Are... you crying?

[ Oh crap, is she? How is he supposed to deal with a crying girl?! ]

( She gives her head a small shake, squeezing him again now that he's resting against her chest. It's only apparent that she's crying, she doesn't need to admit to it, does she? Only it's not like he won't be feeling when her tears start falling onto him. They'll soak through, sooner or later. )

M-maybe. ( Her breath hitches, and she adds; ) Maybe not.

( So much for a convincing performance. She leaves it off entirely to confess. )

I was scared and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if the doctors were coming, or who was there, or who to call for, and you were so sick -- and I thought you were supposed to starve a fever, but then you were so hot, so I got that stupid copper bowl and the water and tried to help but --

( she has to swallow in her ramble, and while it's all a revisitation, it's scarier realizing the cause is still out there. just... waiting for a reason to turn in a new threat, for a new reason that doesn't follow sensible logic. )

-- but you were in pain, and I couldn't do anything. Then they finally got there with the stretcher and they had you in the hospital and everyone was saying, "He's not going to make the next twenty-four hours" and running tests but the tests weren't showing a cause and the antibiotics didn't do anything and all they could do was give you fluids and the stupid nurse --

( These are her own worries, and her concerns. Things she really doesn't want people knowing about, or knowing she thinks about, because it doesn't fit with how she prefers to view the world. Looking for the bright sides, glossing over the dark parts. Not focusing in on the scary things.

She doesn't let herself dwell, and feels almost weirdly guilty to be saying anything at all, but relieved at the same time. He is okay, but he'd almost not been. And he had to know how frightening that'd been. If it scared her, she can imagine how much it had to have scared him, too.

I hadn't realized she'd poisoned me until later. What had that been like? Finding out the threat wasn't for the future, but was already in progress? Knowing anything delaying the rescue group meant feeling yourself die over something so stupid as an unexpected change in plans that kept Cliver safer for the UE being directed and disorientated miles and miles away from his current position?

She gives him another squeeze, cutting herself off. Most of this has been confessed into his neck and shoulder, really, but she won't keep burdening him with the rest. It's not fair. )

Edited 2013-05-28 07:25 (UTC)

[ It's not a point of view he'd really thought about, for all he had tried explaining to Collette how her actions effect people. Him, though? Is he guilty of the same problem? He's quiet for a long time after she finishes spilling out all those feelings, letting her cry without drawing attention to it again. He shouldn't have asked about them, if she was crying, it'd been obvious and asking was just... And none of it even happened to her, she only had to sit by and watch it! Shouldn't he be more upset?

Is he?

Obviously there's a problem if he's balking at a kiss from someone he actually likes, right? He had thought about dying. There had to have been some point where he was scared and not just for the people who kept trying to help him, but in the end, hadn't he just pushed that all back with assuring himself he was right and he'd be fine?

In the end, all he can do is apologize. ]

I sure to end up saying sorry to you a lot. [ He tries to be flippant about it, trying to disguise to uncertainty in his own voice. ] But I am. I should have said something.

[ He raises a hand to rest it on the arms she has wrapped around him so tightly. ]

I'm not going to try and use them for anything else, okay? I thought I could handle dealing with the Guild, but in the end I guess I was just being a stupid kid.

( Just like that, all the anger dissipates. Hers burns hot and fast when it comes around, and mingled in as it'd been with the rest, it didn't have a lot to sustain it. Especially not when he apologizes.

She laughs, or attempts to, a huff of amusement that sounds as wet and thick as her throat is. She has to swallow twice before she can say anything, and who's to say that what she does manage is worth sharing? )

Thank you.

( Is it for the apology? Or the statement? She doesn't ask, like she half wants to, for a promise. She doesn't want to deal with it getting broken somewhere down the line, if he does think he's gotten the perspective to use the tools at his disposal. )

You made a big mistake. Jerk.

( There's no heat behind it, and she tries, valiantly, to control how she's breathing. Making herself stop crying is more effort than she can muster, but she holds back on the audible sounds that want to escape.

Unfortunately, she ends up holding her breath to do so. The resulting hiccups take her first by surprise. Then it's hilarious -- annoying and hilarious. )

Oh come -- ( hic ) -- on!

( Hiccuping again, she picks her head up, even if she doesn't relax her hold on him. Not yet! Her irritated amusement gives way to helpless hiccuping laughter, the tears coming more slowly. )

This is just getting ridic-- ( hic! ) --ulous!

[ He didn't start laughing at her right away, instead turning enough in her arms to look back at her and raise an eyebrow, as if to say 'Really? All that drama and then hiccups, really?'

But he doesn't say that. No, he just turns back and then he starts laughing, though he does try to save some dignity by muffling it against the back of a hand at first. That's difficult with her pinning his arms with a hug, though, so he gives up and just outright guffaws over it. ]

You can't even stay serious when you mean to, you know that?

[ He manages to add that to the list of complaints eventually, between chuckles, but it's not exactly serious. He sounds more relieved than anything else. He's needed a stupid reason to laugh like this for awhile now. ]

( Really. Really really. Collette continues laughing, all the more helpless with it, until her tears are from laughing and she gasps between holding her breath to drive the hiccups away. Thus her answer to his complaint is a sound of amused frustration.

But she does manage to say something after a while: )

It's a talent. Want it? We can -- ( hic! ) -- trade!

Hmmmm. [ Let him think about that. ] No deal. I'm pretty sure the seriousness is attached to my superior intellect. It'd be all wrong to switch that around.

( She laughs, hiccuping yet again as she finally relaxes her hold on him -- just to pull him in for a noogie! )

Oh yeah? I think you could use a direct injection of silliness every so often! Give a break to that big superior intellect. It must get awfully stuck up taking itself serious all of the time!

( Ah-hah! This has restored her from her hiccups, as well as ending her tears, if not making her face look any more presentable with the clear, continuing evidence of crying. )

[ What. What! What is she doing to his scalp! Ugh, not a noogie! Caesar flails a bit before reaching up to try and grab the offending fist grinding away through his hair! ]

Watch it! That stings! [ It's a minor complaint, all in all. Just him whining this time. ] It's not its fault it's better than all the others, okay?

( She lets him catch her hand, relenting in the motion if not the hold on him. Which is sort of awkward by now, but she doesn't particularly care.

She's definitely laughing, even if she sounds congested from crying. )

Better? Ha! It needs to come out and breathe, get away from all that stuffy better than thou act. Come play with the plebs, hmm?

( Completely unable to take the seriousness clause to mean anything, she ducks her head down again. It's a calculated risk, based exactly on what he's just confessed and her own version of -- well, dealing with things. )

There's only one way to fix that!

( The sting: one way to fix the sting. Collette intially intends to press her lips against his tmple, but no way was that working with current angles. So he gets a featherlight kiss on his forehead, above an eyebrow.

For her efforts, she's most likely going to get a delicious taste of hair stuck to lips. Bummer! But it's about a different resolve. Okay, he was weird about getting kissed on the lips, an attempt on his life is gonna do that. She still feels he needs a thousand good reasons to stop having the one bad case rest prominently on his mind.

So if his lips are off limits for now, that leaves the rest of him at her disposal. (Poor guy. She'd warned him, after all!) )

The plebs tend to be unwashed.

[ Which isn't exactly true, but always a good fallback excuse. With the conversation leading away from his uncomfortable near-death and its cause, even with the noogie, he's becoming less and less tense over it, except when he leans over him again. There's a tiny second or two where he holds very still suddenly and...

Then all she does is kiss his forehead. For that, there's no panic, which brings quite the relief, and so he rolls his eyes at her before wiggling his way into a better position to flop unceremoniously onto her lap. Since she's in the way, he'll just use that as a pillow and let his own legs dangle over the bed's edge. ]

What are you, a grandmother all of the sudden?

( She snorts, lips quirked at the corner. What she'd been looking to test was reaction. Based on his, she thinks maybe, maybe if she gets him used to being kissed at all, it'll slowly take away some of the fear.

Makes for an interesting prospect all on its own, regardless of real logic or chance of success and/or failure. Of course, trust her to get a boyfriend and still never get kissed. (Vanadi didn't count!)

One hand gets tossed out behind her to support herself while he wriggles around. An eyebrow quirks up as she looks down at him. )

Do grandmothers do that? I thought they lectured you about eating your vegetables and called you embarrassing names, like snoogums or dearheart, and pinched your cheeks.

( She rubs the back ofher wrist across her eyes, then brushes first one cheek, than the other, with the side of her hand. Then she laughs! )

Talk about a total transformation! Sixteen to sixty-three. Man, that'd be so weird!

Supposedly. Or mothers, I guess.

[ Not nannies, though. That would have been waaaay too weird. ]

You could technically do that, couldn't you? Just acquire a little old lady and putter around, baking everyone cookies and telling them to wash their faces all the time.

Gee, my insides go all aquiver at the mere thought.

( She laughs at the idea, pitching her voice high and creaky. )

Now you be a good boy, you hear? Remember to wash your face each night, and maybe Granny Collette will make you your very own cookies! And remember to get off my lawn, you rascals! You're trampling all my petunias!

( By then her free hand, for wont of anything else to do, is playing with his hair. Yeah, why was using her lap a good idea, again? Sure, her lap held still, but the rest of her...! )

[ Because it was there and wasn't going anywhere. So she could play with his hair, so what? He's not keen on personal space invasion, that's true, but if he's going to tolerate it, it may as well be from Collette.

She's the one who should be worried! He might doze off! ]

On second thought, maybe not. What an awful granny voice you have!

( She snorts, wrinkling her nose again. Her voice goes near sing song as she plays around with a line out of a children's fairy tale: )

All the better to nag you with, my dear!

( Flicking at the tip of his nose, Collette grins. Her voice returns to normal as she asks after her own line of curiosity. )

Just like Granny Wolf in Little Red Riding Hood. Do you guys have a lot of fairy tales where you're from?

[ That's his cue to defend his nose with a hand. Wave, wave, wave, back, nose-flicker! ]

Depends on what you mean by fairy tale. Fairies are irritating, who would want to listen to stories about them?

( Time to lazily wave her own hand at the hand he's using to defend his nose, before attempting to nab said hand with her own. She blinks, breaking out into a lopsided grin. )

You actually have faries, don't you?

Yes, we do, and they're pests.

( Something in how she smiles highlights that Collette doesn't see this as being anything but amusing: in this case, it doesn't have anything to do with her world, so she can afford to be amused that they're pests. )

They're not literal where I'm from, not that I know. We have all these old children's stories that are supposed to teach you things. It's what we call our fairy tales -- Little Red Riding Hood's one of them.

( As if to emphasize the title, she leaves off the attack on his nose to ruffle his hair lightly with one hand. )

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video; a work in progress

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