1 // voice

[fatigue]

[ this bizarre, ugly situation certainly doesn't have the same quality of his hallucinations, and in none of them has kazuaki ever been so cold right through to the bone. or, well, human, he's definitely never been in a human body in any of them, either... he's tired of trying to figure out if it's an effect of the gas he'd been breathing before he appeared here, or an effect of higure's pheromones, or if it's real. just like his hallucinations, what it is doesn't matter. it's that he gets through it.

so with that in mind, he's managed to make it to his assigned apartment with a small purchase of several blankets and a good coat. he needs a lot more to make it through this kind of weather, but it's good to regroup, after all... now he needs to network, to make acquaintances, to be known as helpful and likeable. it's the only way he's managed to get anything done so far and he won't be changing tactics that have worked.

after the broadcast begins, kazuaki can be heard fiddling with the flexible little tablet thing. he's not quite sure how to tell that it's broadcasting at all. ]

Aa... How confusing, hmm... Well, at least I'm warm while I try to figure it out, ahaa... Oh! Oh, there it-- yes, it must be on now. [ he shifts to get more comfortable now before addressing a bunch of complete strangers. ] Hello, everybirdie, this is Kazuaki Nanakiii. It's very cold here, isn't it...? Well, I hope we can all make the best of it, and everybirdie is welcoming to new people... especially those, mm, who are newly... people, eheh...

[ for a few moments the feed is silent, and it's pretty obvious he's falling asleep. he manages to wake himself in time to ask an important question, though. ]

Ah! Yes, I had forgotten to ask... Does anybirdie know a Yoshio Akagi? He'd call himself Anghel Higure... I believe I could be considered responsible for him, and I'm a little worried...

Comments

[inutile]

[though he doesn't say it aloud, Nageki silently agrees with Kazuaki's remark; he doesn't think that many of the people here, including the both of them, are really anything close to what the ideal soldier would seem to be. the Initiative is too confusing to possibly take apart and even begin to understand.

he's quite sure Kazuaki won't be staying awake long enough to hear everything Nageki could mention about their two months together, so he tries to be brief. he'd like to think that being told about it would make Kazuaki suddenly recall it, but that would be far too convenient for a place that never fails to try and make things difficult.]

You arrived approximately a month after I. The Initiative occasionally sends their transports on 'missions' to various times and destinations, which have a tendency to result in many different technological issues. Those months were relatively peaceful in comparison to what I have heard, however, so there isn't much to tell you... you and I shared an apartment, and became better acquainted. That is all.

[fatigue]

[ for nageki, his expression mellows into a more serious, listening one. what he has to say is important, and kazuaki wants to be sure he understands all of it as well as possible. it doesn't sound like either of them have gone on these missions, then, though he wouldn't hedge a bet on it, and... peaceful, hmm. have either of them ever really known "peace"?

nageki is as blunt as ever, but as unrevealing, too. they shared an apartment. does that mean they were assigned to the same apartment, or that one of them moved in with the other? what was nageki's first month here like, alone? what does he mean by "better acquainted"? he still has no idea who he is to nageki.

he can't ask, though. he stifles a yawn and shakes off his need to sleep for a little longer. ]

Hmmm... Two months, though...! There must be more to tell, but it would be rude to press... Mm. I must have been a poor roommate, ahaha!

[inutile]

[if Kazuaki is surprised to hear any of what Nageki has just told him, he looks as cheerful as ever with not even a slight change of expression. there's opposites in that way, Nageki thinks -- though not in the way most people would imagine it. Kazuaki smiles his way through life, and Nageki... keeps the same apathetic, unfriendly look on his face no matter what he'd doing. Kazuaki is the kind of person people should admire a lot more than they do, but don't; not because they don't notice his positive outook, but because they dismiss it when they see his debilitations. if anything, Nageki thinks that should make him all the more commendable.

Nageki is quick to shake his head at Kazuaki's comment, not wanting him to think he was bad company (he definitely wasn't. perhaps a bit worrying, but he was quiet and pleasant, and much less rambunctious than his usual circle of friends). before their time together, Nageki doubts he would have much cared about what either of them thought of each other, but now Nageki is much less reluctant to allow Kazuaki to believe he has a negative opinion of him.]

No. There was nothing wrong with you, Mister Nanaki. Living with you was a comfortable arrangement.

[fatigue]

[ ah. he hadn't expected to hear that, and-- and maybe that's what drives this all home. he isn't hallucinating. nageki is really here. nageki is here, and nice to him, and human. and safe. as safe as he ever was at home. not only was living with him fine, apparently, but nageki wants to make sure he knows it.

nageki doesn't go out of his way to let everyone know how he feels. it hurts, to be like this with him, a stranger now to nageki and himself both. nageki though, nageki he thinks he still understands, no matter their circumstances. on the inside nageki must be smiling, at least a little. though maybe not, because if kazuaki thought nageki had gone back home... wouldn't that be better? but he would miss him.

maybe nageki missed him. "him," kazuaki, which is as good as he thinks it could get. ]

Mm... I'm glad you think that, Fujishiro...

[ he is glad, very glad. that's the happiest thing he's heard in five years. he's happy he could be a good roommate to nageki. he's so happy to hear that, no matter how much it hurts... he's so tired, now. he's so tired he wants to sleep forever, knowing that nageki is here, and safe enough, and has been able to get by on his own. he'd always been so worried about him. maybe nageki was right when he said he was overprotective.

he doesn't mean to, but he's beginning to slump forward just a bit. he knows what's coming soon, but he wishes it wouldn't; nageki's still here. he wants to stay awake for nageki, even if his eyelids are heavy and his head is all fuzzy... ]

I hope I didn't cause you... too much inconvenience...

[inutile]

[he's sure that Kazuaki could sleep comfortably right where he is, but it seems like the bedroom would be more reasonable if he's going to be living with roommates (perhaps not for long, if he decides he'd like to move back in with Nageki, but that's for another day). silently, Nageki stands, not needing to lean down at all since the opposite armchair makes Kazuaki level with him even when slumped forward.]

It would be best to locate your bedroom if you need to rest.

[fatigue]

Mmhm...

[ he was never so tired around nageki before, right? he used to be the one looking after him, but now nageki's concerned about him dozing off right here, haha. what a strange twist.

weak with exhaustion, kazuaki brings himself to his feet, immediately leaning forward and sighing. his room is so far away from here, it seems like... ]

Now where... hrrm.

[ he jerks a little, waking up enough to realize he should walk nageki to the door before he naps. ]

Ah, wait... I should... walk you to the door, mm. If you're leaving...

[inutile]

[as Kazuaki leans forward, Nageki very awkwardly holds up a hand to hold onto his arm, hoping to prevent him falling over. he'd really rather not have this sort of contact, especially if it's unwelcome, but he's learned by now that Kazuaki doesn't mind -- and if left to his own devices, usually falls down after all. he lightens his tight when he jerks slightly, wondering if he'll be able to manage getting there if Nageki were to leave. does he want Nageki to leave?]

I can show myself out, unless you would rather I left now.

[fatigue]

[ oh-- oh. he'd thought he's been able to accept this so far, that nageki's really here, that he's okay and breathing and apparently not miserable, but physical contact is a different story. his façade only just barely falters, jolting a little but immediately reaching out to nageki's hand on his arm to keep it there.

it's wrong, it's more than wrong. nageki doesn't know what this means to him. nageki doesn't know, he should tell him to go ahead and leave, he should tell him he doesn't have to help him-- ]

No, no, you don't have to leave... It's nice to see a familiar face. You can stay as long as you like, Fujishiro-kun.

[ -- but the words spill from his mouth regardless, softer than he intends. he doesn't want nageki to leave, he wants nageki to never ever leave. his hand raises from nageki's to sleepily rub at his eyes, stifling a yawn as he shuffles his feet toward (he thinks) his bedroom. ]

[inutile]

[he's not startled anymore by the weird way Kazuaki reacts to being touched anymore, not when he's said it's not a bother to him, so he doesn't hesitate to gently steer the man in the proper direction rather than letting him wander off somewhere else. fortunately, peering into the closest bedroom indicates that it probably isn't taken yet, given its bareness...

well, it is now, Nageki supposes. he shuffles Kazuaki along towards the bed, stepping back to allow him to make himself comfortable while Nageki idles by the door out of the way.]

[fatigue]

[ how backwards all this is from what he's used to. he's so accustomed to taking care of nageki, to fussing after him, that this is just laughable. nageki is the one he used to carry to bed if he got too weak-- despite all nageki's protests-- and now he's so useless nageki is guiding him to bed.

well. he doesn't need him to, does he? he's just taking advantage of nageki's kindness. how deceitful. nageki would be horrified if he knew, maybe. maybe not.

it's too much to think about when he's so exhausted. he follows nageki trustingly, stifling a yawn as he wobbles toward his new bed and flops on it face-first. ]

So sleepy... but Fujishiro-kun is welcome to stay... whenever you like, mmh.