Collette (
whatsupcroc) wrote in
exsilium2013-03-16 10:32 pm
Entry tags:
- collette (animorphs),
- jesse pinkman (breaking bad),
- kate kane (dc comics),
- koltira deathweaver (world of warcraft),
- lenalee lee (d.gray-man),
- nill (dogs: bullets & carnage),
- sollux captor (homestuck),
- ✝ ahiru [princess tutu],
- ✝ anders [dragon age],
- ✝ barnaby brooks jr [t&b],
- ✝ elena fisher (uncharted),
- ✝ ellie linton (tomorrow),
- ✝ hermione granger [harry potter],
- ✝ keith gandor (baccano!),
- ✝ kougyoku ren [magi],
- ✝ kratos aurion [tales of symphonia],
- ✝ lacie baskerville [pandora hearts],
- ✝ mitsuki ishikawa [original],
- ✝ peter parker [amazing spider-man],
- ✝ rika furude [higurashi],
- ✝ ringo noyamano [air gear]
text;
I don't really like doing that announcement thing, but since I'm her roommate... Snow White's gone home! Which is good, that means she's finally back with James, who's her total love at first sight wonderful husband and she has a daughter that maybe she'll get to see now so I'm happy for her. Right, and Al left too, but that was last month. Uh... a few others, but I don't really know the full list.
It makes me curious about something else, though. What do you guys do to show you remember and care about people who you'll probably never see again in this lifetime?
It makes me curious about something else, though. What do you guys do to show you remember and care about people who you'll probably never see again in this lifetime?

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Culture gaps being what they are, it was the first, and closest, example she jumped to. She simply found it an amusing, and pleasing, word, versus the other.
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"It seems like a good fit to me."
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But at least he'd get movie rights for his story.
"Always glad to help a friend! Geriatric or otherwise."
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A promise she can already deliver on.
"With the home team advantage. Wheels? Oh, all over how to use those. You'll be eating my dust, just you see!"
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She's been well distracted, much as she'd hoped when she'd posted at all tonight. "Thanks for coming by," she adds after a silence hitting just past continued conversational back and forth.
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Yosuke agrees, winking again. He's a bit surprised to be thanked for stopping by, but pleased too. For just a moment, his tone is shy and sincere. "It's no trouble." And then, back to teasing. "As long as you don't interrupt me when I'm trying to watch paint dry, I'm always around."
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Yosuke might be some kind of lonely of his own, she decides. Especially if he has friends from home who come and leave, like most everyone does.
"Hey, Yosuke? Do you have a lot of friends around here? Not just the kind you know, but the kind you like, really trust and stuff?"
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"Why, are you looking? Because I don't carry around fruit buns every day, you know. I'm not the breakfast fairy."
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But this isn't what she wants to know, so she asks again, quietly. "I mean anyone from home, you know? It's nice when you have that kind of connection."
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There's more than one way to answer that, actually. But only one answer rings true. And why not? She just lost someone too. Maybe today, Collette can understand.
"My best friend was."
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"I'm sorry." It doesn't feel like enough. But that's the thing. She's pretty sure there's never anything you can really say to make the unfair stuff feel any better. There's a mentality to finding the bright side, but it doesn't mean the hurtful things don't still hurt. "Was it better or worse to have him be here for a while at all?"
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Congratulations, Yosuke, she's turning away and rubbing one thumb with her other one. "Marco was here when I got here. He's a friend from back home, you know? But he left not long afterward." She falters, looking down at her hands. She can feel herself tearing up, blinking furiously. "There's been no one since."
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Her breathing hitches, the only accompaniment to the tears that roll down over her cheeks, dropping uncerimoniously off the point of her chin into her hands. She leaves off on rubbing her thumb, instead fiddling with the fabric of her shirt. Her fingers dig in, knuckles going white.
Her throat closes up with a measure of grief and unsurety. How's she supposed to know what to do? Or say? There's no real reassurance for knowing the people who mattered to her here could leave, thorugh no act of their own. To know that they could never return, or might return tomorrow, and that if they did, like as note they wouldn't know a thing about her.
It's unfair. It's not unusual, not even unexpected, but it is unfair. She acknowledges that, along with the things she doesn't admit to anyone else. This scares her, this hurts more than it should, because there's no one she's going back to. It's just the end. The final sleep. The all consuming incineration that marked her last moments alive, before it'd faded and she'd demorphed on the circular pad in the Transport Room.
She wishes she could see her best friends here. Maybe she can say thank you, and that she's glad she knows them, and that she doesn't blame James at all for what happened. In her most secret pipe dreams, she even imagines her mother showing up, taken from the years before her cancer. Nurses were always valuable, right? Or Phillip, he was a proper soldier. He could come in, and tease her, and be irritated at everything, like he got, before getting down to business.
She could share the things she's learned, mention how much she misses them both, admit maybe just once that she really does respect Phillip in spite of how often she annoyed him.
But she can't say any of that, even if she knew how to find the words. It's enough to miss the people from here, going back to their homes. Or their deaths, in some cases; her chest tightens, thinking of the things she'd heard from Al when he'd been older, more changed. But still Al.
People changed so drastically while remaining themselves, it was enough to make someone dizzy.
So she can't say anything to Yosuke. Collette doesn't try. She doesn't shake his hand off, or cover it with her own.
She just cries, silent as she can, breathing in when she needs the air becaues her nasal passages are filling with the snot that turns crying from an expression of emotion into a bodily fluids festival that never leaves anyone cleaned or really happy. The first time she really moves, it's to run the back of her wrist under her nose.
Great. Now she was snotting in front of the guy who'd been bizarrely nice enough to come over and bring her something to eat to try and take her mind off exactly what her mind was back on. Way to be a jerk, she thinks, and she's not sure if it's aimed at herself, or in some way, aimed at Yosuke, or even less sensibly, at the friends who have all left.
"I'm sorry." comes out as a squeak when she can force the words out of her mouth with any lung power behind them. Even a repetition dies stillborn in her throat.
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For a long moment he can only stare, guilty and concerned. And then he hits his knees, hovering beside the chair but totally unsure what to do. Should he hug her? Would she slap him if he did? Should he pretend not to notice? No, that's only for guys. Shit.
He sees the mucus starting to drip -eew, girls do that too?- and pats himself down stupidly for a tissue he doesn't have. He practically never gets sick, and he doesn't have allergies. He's loathe to leave her and get toilet roll from the bathroom, but he nearly does anyway. Until she apologizes. Then he freezes up again, and something slides around sickly in his stomach. Like a decaying eel.
Okay. Fine. She can slap him if she wants to. He takes the hand she didn't just wipe her nose on, marveling for a moment at how small girls' hands are- and puts his other hand firmly on her shoulder, trying to get her to look up at him.
"Hey...hey, don't...don't cry. I'm sorry, okay? I just-you asked...don't cry. I didn't want you to cry."
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