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I don't really like doing that announcement thing, but since I'm her roommate... Snow White's gone home! Which is good, that means she's finally back with James, who's her total love at first sight wonderful husband and she has a daughter that maybe she'll get to see now so I'm happy for her. Right, and Al left too, but that was last month. Uh... a few others, but I don't really know the full list.

It makes me curious about something else, though. What do you guys do to show you remember and care about people who you'll probably never see again in this lifetime?

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[For Koltira, this encompasses a whole lot of people--just about everyone he ever knew while alive, in fact.

He murmurs.]

The best I can do for them is to remember who I am.

( She flips to video after a good long ten minutes. What does that mean? )

What do you mean by that, Koltira?

Just remember them. How you feel about a friend won't change just because you show it off or not.

I don't mean for others or anything. Just for me.

i think trying to be the kind of person they would want you to be is good, as long as it doesn't mean changing yourself a whole lot. i think remembering and caring in the first place is more important than showing that you do either, though.

Hm.

I just remember. Sometimes think about them, or maybe I don't. I never forget.

I'll remember either way, but -- it's not showing for others. It's like... a memory for myself, or something. One that's not just locked up in my head. I don't really get the changing yourself thing. Wouldn't you change for you, not for someone not even here?

Memories fade, though. The ones in our heads do, or at least my head. Like you remember some parts, but it's not the same as remembering them as they were. What if something happens to your memory? Forgetting them, that's okay just because you couldn't control it?

I try to continue what they were not able to finish.

Most of my race died during the Third War. We--the high elves, that is--were almost completely annihilated by the Scourge. Many of us simply died outright. Our bodies were burned, or torn apart. Others, like me, were raised to serve.

[he doesn't have a drink in his hand at present, and he's starting to regret that fact. Koltira sighs.]

The survivors of that massacre renamed themselves. We became the blood elves, in memory of everyone who had fought and died during that terrible war.

[he smiles wryly.]

I identify with these survivors, even though I cannot technically count myself among them. Retaining my own will against the influence of the Lich King--against the curse in my body--is all I can do to honor the suffering of my people. It's all I can do to remind myself that I was once alive, and that our kingdom was once unbroken.

What do you mean by that?

I've never been one for sentiments. But do you have photos? Or things to write about them.

[Text for once - and if he knew how to make this anonymous, he would, but he doesn't, not that it matters.]

I don't do anything to show it, if you mean 'show' literally. I wasn't able to keep anything of his. If I had some trinket of his, I might wear it, I suppose. Then again I might not. It would mean too many things.

Remembrance is tricky. Do you mean it to honor the person who's passed from your life? In my experience, remembrance isn't willed. It simply washes over you. Sometimes when it's least convenient. Someone might use a certain turn of phrase. You catch a whiff of some scent. You see something that would have tickled that person's fancy, and your first thought is that you've got to show it to them, before you recall that you can't ever show anything to them again. That sort of moment.

I suppose I would say that you should memorize the person's face while you've still got it fresh in your head. Hold onto that as long as you can. When you forget how, you'll regret it.

yeah, i know what you mean.

well, that's what i meant. it's not good to change yourself for somebody else, but it's like, if you know the things that made them care about you, you have to be extra careful never to let those parts of you fade away. does that make sense?

That's a sad story. I think you're doing a whole different kind of remembering than what I was thinking, but it's a good one. Does it help you?

Some photos, but the writing thing is something I could maybe do for everyone.

Hey, it's not like I'd go out and try to become someone way different, but isn't that possible? Down the line, you change into someone else? It's weird to think of freezing yourself just to be the exact kind of person you were at one point. Shouldn't you be able to find the things that made you you even if you've changes? They don't just disappear.

There's no way to skip past that whole regret it part? You're right about that kind of remembering. There's a lot especially with how things smell, someone told me why before. I forget it at the moment. Scent's the strongest memory, maybe? Something like that.

it's definitely possible to become somebody completely different, but the way i see it... i don't know, for me, caring about the people i'll never see again means i should try not to let go of the things they liked about me.

i do think sometimes parts of you can change entirely, though, and be completely different than what they were before. that's why you've gotta be careful that it's not the best things about you, you know?

[he shrugs. He scratches patterns into his wooden table, designs common to high elf architecture.]

Help? I do not know about that. But I have few other options.

[he lifts his head, glancing at some part of the room that's off-camera.]

I did come here with some certain possessions, some things I managed to collect from my former life. I've given most of them away by this point. I suppose you might call that a form of remembrance. I remember my homeland whenever I share a drink made there, for instance. I remember my little brother whenever I make a meal with the spices he liked. And so on.

( Her purposes in asking this question in the first place were layered; she wanted to know, of course, but she also wanted to fill in the quiet. Collette didn't like her first taste of living alone in November, and she's not looking forward to her second right now.

She doesn't want to be lonely, so she tries to get people to talk with her. This was just one way that helped her out in thinking through something at the same time. )

I think I'm going to have a lot more of those than I realized, at first. Smells really seem to do it. Like spices, or just... stuff my nose recognizes that reminds me of something else.

What was your little brother like?

I'm pretty sure the best thing about me is my sense of humor and awesome good looks, so we should be set on the one and the other only faces the horrors of time, but that's far off! More seriously, eugh, what if you're not sure what the best things about you are to each person?

If there exists a way to dodge regret, I've never learned it myself. Perhaps if you commemorate your lost friends, you can herd all the stray moments of memory into that time and space reserved for it. That might work. It would take a more disciplined mind than I've got.

People are talking about scents and pictures and writing things down. Maybe things like that? I don't know, I've never had a diary or a scrap-book before. I just don't know if that's a normal thing for someone to do or not!

has she ever complimented you on anything? or, like, do you know what she values about people in general?

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