exsilium | three. (video.)

( At least this time Ellie isn't in some random, ramshackle building, but enjoying the warmth of the kitchen and a giant cup of coffee. At least she looks marginally better rested than she has on previous occasions. )

So, with that whole swap thing, I've been thinking. ( A pause, and there's a note of self mockery in her voice: ) Because I don't think enough when weird stuff isn't happening. Or less-weird stuff, at any rate. ( Has she really digressed already and wandered off with her thoughts? She shakes her head at herself. )

I was thinking about anger. Or any emotion, I guess, when they get that intense that you feel like all your insides are writhing about like snakes, but anger's the one that stuck out for me. We're all in this war, and some of us have been in wars before and some haven't, and everyone handles it in these different ways.

( She trails off; articulating this isn't going so smoothly as she'd expected, but sometimes you just have to throw things at the wall and see what sticks. Homer used to throw pasta at the wall, a lot, and a bloody lot of that stuck. The memory makes her smile a little. )

I mean, just before I got here, Kev-- uh, this guy in our group, he wasn't doing so well with everything. ( See, Fi, she at least tried not to name and shame. Belatedly. ) Everyone tried different things to get him going, and it was this weird insight-- I guess it just said a bit about the kind of people we are, depending what tactic we used. ( Fi: sympathy. Lee: abuse. Homer: encouragement. )
I was all logic and common sense. ( A beat, before she continues, speaking a little more slowly as she grapples with her pride and tries to think it out. ) Sometimes I don't think that really shows the full picture, but.

( She could say that it definitely doesn't, not when you got anger that just bubbles up and blows being reasonable right out of the water. She could, but does not. )

Anyway, I was talking to this guy here, before, about anger. How you can use it, and that, make it work for you, and I just... I didn't know if that really worked for anyone. If anger's a weapon, or if you got an on/off switch for it, or what? 'Cause there's this quote in uh, this Shakespeare play - “wrath makes him deaf,” I think the Queen in Henry VI. ( She squints, trying to remember. ) And then there's another bit, about not coming between “the dragon and his rage,” in King Lear. I think Lear was already going crazy, though, by then, though. ( Quietly: ) It's been a while since I studied them. Trying to read that stuff and figure out all the language is hard, without those special high school study editions.

( Where was she even going with this? )

So I guess I just wondered what you lot thought about it. Anger and controlling anger and using it and whether it screws you up, or what.

( A beat, and she smiles crookedly. ) Or we could talk about dragons. We don't have any back home, but some of you have to have dragons, right?

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Anger can be very useful, as long as you keep control of it, and don't let it control you. It's not a pleasant feeling when it happens.

[His tone goes from serious to more casual, and he shrugs.]

As for dragons, my world does have them. Some kinds are more tolerable than others.

( weeeeeellllllll it takes her a long time to reply to this particular video post. Because. There is Kang, being... visually Kang. And Kang is not a human shaped thing. So. Hmm.

Eventually, though: )

Geez. I should make a tally system for how many people say it's useful, and how many people say it's good for nothing at all. I think I've lost count.

( She grins a little, even if it fades fast. )

Are you a... dragon?

[Humanoid, at least. He tilts his head to one side slightly, somewhat amused.]

It is a bit of a subjective question.

[He shakes his head.]

No. I am a draconian, ma'am. Created from dragons, but we are not the same.

Sometimes I wish things could be a bit less subjective and more black and white. Like when I was a kid, everything seemed so clear cut.

( But, she shakes her head. She knows it's a childish impossibility. )

A draconian? That... word means something pretty different, where I come from. ( It's a little bit muttered, but she's not really intending for him to keep from hearing it. ) What do you mean, "created"?

( Ellie: she loves questions )

I learned a long time ago that nothing is black and white, and that even good and evil is subjective.

[Huh. That's interesting.]

What does it mean for you, then? And yes, by magic.

It was nicer when things seemed simple. ( Though her smile is thin; she's been disillusioned of that for quite some time. ) Even if it was naive.

( Hmm, she takes a moment. )

Uhh. It means severe, I think? If something is strict, or uh, harsh, then it's draconian. Something like that.

In some ways, it was nicer.

[He's silent for a moment, and then he nods.]

...well, we are fairly harsh in comparison to many of the other races. I don't think your definition was created based on us, though.

I'd be pretty impressed if it was, though you don't seem too bad so far. Whoever ran into the guy writing the dictionary must've made a really bad impression.

( At least she can attempt good humour. )

Is it weird, being around a whole lot of humans?

[Blunt!]

We're not the the nicest of races, as a whole. Most other races don't like us, and for good reason.

I've spent more than enough time around humans in the past, but yes, it is a bit weird being the only draconian in a sea of mostly humans.

( Huh. ) Well, you're pretty self-aware, at least. That's more than I can say for a lot of people.

Reason to feel a bit special, maybe?

( Ellie what are you even saying. )

Do you have other races in your world? Like... I dunno, orcs? Or something like that?

( Another guy said orcs. She's super curious, now. ) Fairies?

We know who and what we are, and we don't pretend otherwise.

[He shrugs.]

Orcs and fairies aren't familiar, but yes, we do have other races. Humans, dwarves, elves, goblins, kender, gnomes... and that's only a few.

three. (video.)

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apologies for the slow, exams and assignments happened ;u;

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