exsilium | three. (video.)

three. (video.)

( At least this time Ellie isn't in some random, ramshackle building, but enjoying the warmth of the kitchen and a giant cup of coffee. At least she looks marginally better rested than she has on previous occasions. )

So, with that whole swap thing, I've been thinking. ( A pause, and there's a note of self mockery in her voice: ) Because I don't think enough when weird stuff isn't happening. Or less-weird stuff, at any rate. ( Has she really digressed already and wandered off with her thoughts? She shakes her head at herself. )

I was thinking about anger. Or any emotion, I guess, when they get that intense that you feel like all your insides are writhing about like snakes, but anger's the one that stuck out for me. We're all in this war, and some of us have been in wars before and some haven't, and everyone handles it in these different ways.

( She trails off; articulating this isn't going so smoothly as she'd expected, but sometimes you just have to throw things at the wall and see what sticks. Homer used to throw pasta at the wall, a lot, and a bloody lot of that stuck. The memory makes her smile a little. )

I mean, just before I got here, Kev-- uh, this guy in our group, he wasn't doing so well with everything. ( See, Fi, she at least tried not to name and shame. Belatedly. ) Everyone tried different things to get him going, and it was this weird insight-- I guess it just said a bit about the kind of people we are, depending what tactic we used. ( Fi: sympathy. Lee: abuse. Homer: encouragement. )
I was all logic and common sense. ( A beat, before she continues, speaking a little more slowly as she grapples with her pride and tries to think it out. ) Sometimes I don't think that really shows the full picture, but.

( She could say that it definitely doesn't, not when you got anger that just bubbles up and blows being reasonable right out of the water. She could, but does not. )

Anyway, I was talking to this guy here, before, about anger. How you can use it, and that, make it work for you, and I just... I didn't know if that really worked for anyone. If anger's a weapon, or if you got an on/off switch for it, or what? 'Cause there's this quote in uh, this Shakespeare play - “wrath makes him deaf,” I think the Queen in Henry VI. ( She squints, trying to remember. ) And then there's another bit, about not coming between “the dragon and his rage,” in King Lear. I think Lear was already going crazy, though, by then, though. ( Quietly: ) It's been a while since I studied them. Trying to read that stuff and figure out all the language is hard, without those special high school study editions.

( Where was she even going with this? )

So I guess I just wondered what you lot thought about it. Anger and controlling anger and using it and whether it screws you up, or what.

( A beat, and she smiles crookedly. ) Or we could talk about dragons. We don't have any back home, but some of you have to have dragons, right?

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[Cedric slowly shakes his head. He's not trying to be critical of her---he's just lost in his own thoughts, holding his head to keep it all in.]

It was just a tough week. I was stuck in my own head for most of it, bombarded with everyone's emotions in one big lump of anxiety.

I used to think I wanted that ability. Not anymore.

You okay?

That body mess up? ( She frowns, not quite grasping it. ) Or something different?

( Ability, though? Bombarded with emotions... Ellie just takes a few moments. ) It's a magic thing, right?

( It's not a satisfying response, but she shrugs. ) Been better, been worse. Getting better, I think?

At least you're all right.

Yeah, it's a magical ability. But I was always taught that Legilimency---thought-reading---was controlled. This wasn't like that at all.

[He grimaces]

The body I was in was blind and mostly deaf. He compensates by using his powers to navigate so well that I never guessed beforehand, but I couldn't really control them. I just wound up feeling everyone's fear, hearing some really nasty thoughts, and tripping over my hooves. Even with all the muddled thoughts, it was like I was alone in the world this week.

( A little smile. ) Thanks. ( Really. She means it.

She just sits and listens, trying to wrap her head around the idea, frowning as she sips her coffee. ) Jesus.

( There's not much she can say to that. ) You sound like you could use some coffee. ( Or a beer, frankly, but coffee is what she has. ) Do you want to come over? I haven't seen you in a while.

[Coffee? Cedric hardly hesitates. He bobs his head.]

I could. I couldn't exactly lap up coffee where I was. Water, maybe.

( She's just glancing down at her feet, wiggling her toes in her socks, even if it's off-screen. ) At least the lady I traded with had toes, not hooves.

( Seriously, how would you even function without toes. )

All right. I'll put the kettle on. We'll get you some coffee and bikkies, yeah?

Sounds wonderful. I'm on my way! Just wait 'til I tell you about how the world smelt.

[A couple minutes later---knock knock]

Oh, God. I'm not sure I wanna know.

( But the kettle is on, and she's happily pulling the door open when he gets there. )

Come in. ( At least she looks a bit more relaxed than she did a month and a half ago, though maybe the changes are more subtle when you see them over time. They just feel like a shock when you are used to seeing your body a certain way, and then suddenly you realise there's more flesh on your bones. She looks a little less haggard, even if there are still the dark circles of insomnia under her eyes. ) We should just build some secret tunnels around this place. Popping out from behind a painting would be heaps better than having to knock on doors.

( And she's just going to beeline to the kitchen. )

[Cedric laughs faintly, closing and securing the door before following her into the kitchen.]

Hogwarts had secret passages like that. I was supposed to keep students out of them, but...when you know a secret way across the castle it's really tempting.

Mm. The cofee smells great.

I can't believe your school was called Hogwarts. ( Uh. ) Sorry. It just doesn't really inspire images of majesty and witches and wizards. ( A sheepish smile, and she's dragging out some biscuits, not even bothering to put them on a plate, just tearing the packet open and fishing one out. ) Although it's still more imaginative than Wirrawee High. And we definitely didn't have any secret passages.

( There you go, recently traumatised friend. Some caffeine is bound to help you feel calm and relaxed.

Yep. )

Wizards have a strange sense of humour sometimes.

[Cedric takes one too, nibbling before he has a sip.]

That name would fit right in where I'm from.

I dunno, I have some pretty strange friends. One of them, Homer? He played this game called Greek Roulette. Involved smashing your head into a window, and having a whole bunch of people just keep rotating until the window broke. Whoever broke the window had to take the blame, or their parents had to pay if they got caught. Homer thought it was hilarious.

( She snorts, and scoops up the biscuits so they can flop into the comfy chairs in the lounge. ) He'd set up chalk wipers to fall on teachers, too, get up to all sorts. You have any friends like that back home?

...I can't imagine what the purpose of that would be.

[Cedric just grins and takes a sip, grateful to be able to take in all around him again.]

Not for long. I was a prefect---it was my job to tell them off if I caught them. People don't tend to pull pranks around the upholders of the rules unless they're especially daring.

Fun. Homer plays up a lot when he can get away with it, he kind of just comes across like an absolute hellion. He's a solid guy, though, really reliable. ( She shrugs, expression fond. ) He's someone you could count on, if he ever wound up here. He might give you shit for being English, though. He, um. I guess he liked to act up when people underestimated him, and because he acted up, people underestimated him more. It's this whole, carefully constructed thing of his. He had me fooled for years, anyway.

( She realises she's just thinking out loud, shaking her head and then sipping her coffee. If there's someone she misses like crazy, it's Homer. Out of the remainder of their group still alive, he's definitely one of the ones she'd want here, especially with Fi here, too.

And then, she laughs. ) Oh, Christ. Really? Your school really was snobby, wasn't it?

I can see how that'd be useful. [Cedric gives her a small smile, then laughs.]

Not as much as you'd think! The students loved to have fun---being around ghosts and magical creatures and creepy enchanted rooms will do that. In my position I had to be one of the snobbiest of the snobs, but when I was off-duty I enjoyed myself as much as anyone else.

It sounds exciting. Enough that I wish I was magical, anyway.

( She wrinkles her nose, shaking her head. ) I'm more like-- I dunno. The most ordinary of the ordinary. ( Sure, she'd been in a war, but look at some of the people here in Exsilium. It was bizarre. )

So, hmm. Okay, what are the other cliches about old schools? What was the principle like? Are there other wizard schools, for your quidd- ( wait, she can remember ) quidditch games, and stuff? Sometimes we'd have other schools visit us or we'd go to them for sports games.

[Cedric sighs and nods.]

Sometimes I wish I was a muggle. Maybe then I'd start to understand the inner workings of these tablets and most of your weapons. I'm amazed by how many ways there are to work around not having magic. It's really not great---my other body had magic, but I couldn't even use it.

[He snorts derisively.]

Yes, there are other schools, but they're too far away to come play games with us most of the time. Instead, the games are played between the four Houses of the school. People are assigned in their first year based on what the Sorting Hat thinks about us as people.

Don't worry about it. I'm a muggle and all I could tell you is that there's electricity and power and big networks of information, but that's about it. I guess maybe we're more self-sufficient, or we'd like to think we are, but getting used to living without electricity when we were living in Hell, that was hard. We get around it, but we just create other things we're dependent on.

( Ooh, now this is interesting. Excuse her as she breaks a biscuit in half, and brushes the crumbs off her lap, and then... forgets about the biscuit, because she's paying more attention to what he's saying than the food. )

Wow. Wait-- a hat? There's a magical hat?
( She grins. That's ridiculous. ) So what does it judge you on? Because if athleticism is one of the things, there's gonna be one House with a big advantage over all the others. Hey, what House are you in?

[Such words of wisdom. He smiles and nods before launching into the Sorting story.]

It's more based on personality and goals than anything else. There are four, based on what the four founders of the school valued in their students. Gryffindors are courageous---sometimes crossing the line from 'brave' to 'rash'. Ravenclaws value knowledge and thinking above all: my girlfriend tells me they have to solve a logic puzzle to get into their dormitories every day. Slytherin's all about ambition and cunning---many of the evil wizards come from there, but evil's not a trait and they're not all bad. And I'm from Hufflepuff, the house of loyalty and perseverance. Most people think we're the leftovers and only in Hufflepuff because we're not good enough for the other houses, but it's the most welcoming place I've ever known.

( She grins. ) I like the names. And, hey. Loyalty and perseverance are both bloody important. It's not good being brave if you don't have it in you to get your head down and get through stuff. If you're rash or, brave but just give up when it looks too difficult or doesn't work the first time, then what's the point?

( Too harsh? Maybe too harsh. But that thing about Hufflepuff pisses her off, especially because Cedric is a mate. ) Though "Hufflepuff" does make you sound like a giant teddy bear. It's a good thing.

[Cedric laughs appreciatively.]

We also live near the kitchens, so we're the house of good food as well. I started working at my cooking over the summers after we had such great food during the school years.

And we are cuddly, I won't deny that. But the claws come out if our friends are attacked.

See, you guys really had it all worked out.

( Perfect. )

Huh. I wonder what Houses some of the people around here would wind up in. Or people back home. There's a few I can think of who'd fit in a couple.

( She raises an eyebrow, but it's coupled with a smile. ) I remember.

( Rita. )

Sometimes you really can't tell. The Hat makes its best guess, but sometimes there's a coward in Gryffindor or a real nasty one in Hufflepuff. People change.

[He twiddles his thumbs thoughtfully, then smiles at her.] Yeah. It'll be tough to shake me from you.

So... Okay, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and..Slytherin? ( She grabs four biscuits, one for each House. ) And you all play quidditch at Hogwarts.

( hmm. She is thoughtfully considering those biscuits. ) See, even without magic that sounds more interesting than my school. ( Her grin is cheerier than she feels. )

What House do you reckon I'd be in?

[Cedric considers her question carefully, looking her over. He rubs at his chin as he thinks.]

My instinct says Gryffindor. I know I was a little harsh on them, but they're really the House that Hufflepuff gets on best with. Gryffindors know a thing or two about standing strong. You'd do well with the lions.

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