exsilium | three. (video.)

( At least this time Ellie isn't in some random, ramshackle building, but enjoying the warmth of the kitchen and a giant cup of coffee. At least she looks marginally better rested than she has on previous occasions. )

So, with that whole swap thing, I've been thinking. ( A pause, and there's a note of self mockery in her voice: ) Because I don't think enough when weird stuff isn't happening. Or less-weird stuff, at any rate. ( Has she really digressed already and wandered off with her thoughts? She shakes her head at herself. )

I was thinking about anger. Or any emotion, I guess, when they get that intense that you feel like all your insides are writhing about like snakes, but anger's the one that stuck out for me. We're all in this war, and some of us have been in wars before and some haven't, and everyone handles it in these different ways.

( She trails off; articulating this isn't going so smoothly as she'd expected, but sometimes you just have to throw things at the wall and see what sticks. Homer used to throw pasta at the wall, a lot, and a bloody lot of that stuck. The memory makes her smile a little. )

I mean, just before I got here, Kev-- uh, this guy in our group, he wasn't doing so well with everything. ( See, Fi, she at least tried not to name and shame. Belatedly. ) Everyone tried different things to get him going, and it was this weird insight-- I guess it just said a bit about the kind of people we are, depending what tactic we used. ( Fi: sympathy. Lee: abuse. Homer: encouragement. )
I was all logic and common sense. ( A beat, before she continues, speaking a little more slowly as she grapples with her pride and tries to think it out. ) Sometimes I don't think that really shows the full picture, but.

( She could say that it definitely doesn't, not when you got anger that just bubbles up and blows being reasonable right out of the water. She could, but does not. )

Anyway, I was talking to this guy here, before, about anger. How you can use it, and that, make it work for you, and I just... I didn't know if that really worked for anyone. If anger's a weapon, or if you got an on/off switch for it, or what? 'Cause there's this quote in uh, this Shakespeare play - “wrath makes him deaf,” I think the Queen in Henry VI. ( She squints, trying to remember. ) And then there's another bit, about not coming between “the dragon and his rage,” in King Lear. I think Lear was already going crazy, though, by then, though. ( Quietly: ) It's been a while since I studied them. Trying to read that stuff and figure out all the language is hard, without those special high school study editions.

( Where was she even going with this? )

So I guess I just wondered what you lot thought about it. Anger and controlling anger and using it and whether it screws you up, or what.

( A beat, and she smiles crookedly. ) Or we could talk about dragons. We don't have any back home, but some of you have to have dragons, right?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dragons again, huh?

Anger should work for some people, but it's not without consequence.

I'm not the only one that got a bit thrown by the dragons, huh?

( Some of the comments she's getting are interesting. Tells a bit about the person, she reckons, but she's hardly an expert. It's hard enough working out her own head. )

You got experience with that, I take it?

[ He nods. ]

War is a tiring thing. People need to hang onto something to keep them going. Most people choose anger.

( It shouldn't surprise her - not here, where they are at war, not when she really should just take it in stride, but somehow hearing about other people and war, it can still take her off guard. Maybe because this war is so very different from home, with all the luxuries, the freedoms. )

Yeah, it is.

( Very soft, very serious. )

That happened to a good mate of mine, back home. ( Her too, she knows, but it's easier to talk about something a bit more removed from you, sometimes. ) Sorry you got stuck in a war.

( And it's a guess, but she tacks on: ) Twice.

( Here, and maybe back home as well. )

That's what we soldiers are for. To fight the war so ordinary citizens won't have to.

[ He does not fully comprehend the need for that apology. ]

Is your... mate doing better?

[ Nor does he comprehend Australian English. ]

( Her mouth settles in a harsh frown. )

Not all soldiers are that effective. Civilians get dragged into a war no matter what, don't delude yourself.

( Harsh from her own experience; she was sixteen when she got dragged into the losing side of a war for her country. )

I don't know.

( Blunt force honesty. She's unhappy with everything in the world, it seems. )

[ He winces. He knows that, but he wasn't able to do anything to prevent that in the past. No, he could have, but he chose to follow orders instead. What a horrible excuse for a horrible man like him. ]

I'm sorry!

[ His eyes tear up a bit. ]

I know that doesn't really fix anything but if there's anything that I could do--

[ What could someone like him do? ]

[You're about to get a not pissy and prissy answer, Ellie, do as you will with it.]

Anger is like any other tool, learn how to wield it properly or you're likely to take your own eye out. As a driving force it's quite useful, as much I suppose as hope or determination.

As well, do large sea serpents count as dragons? Found one in King Arthur's tomb.

What do you use? ( It makes her sit up a bit, this response from Her Ladyship that isn't all mockery or antagonism, or some variation of the two. )

I don't see why not. Apparently they don't need to fly or breathe fire to count as dragons, either.

( Wait, hang on. ) King Arthur's tomb? Seriously? ( Colour her impressed. )

I use what is appropriate. Anger has been most plentiful in this horrid place, very little hope to get back home at this point.

[There's a small tug at the corner of her lips at the memory.]

Yes, I needed to borrow a bit of Excalibur. The serpent decided that wasn't conducive to what our King wanted. Or perhaps it was just hungry, I assume it had been down there alone for some time. Either way I succeeded in my task where it didn't.

If I used what was "appropriate" around here, it'd probably be an umbrella. ( That's a bad joke, Ellie. ) It's like they're trying to make us apathetic, with this bloody weather.

( Her head tilts slightly, as she takes a moment to digest that rather interesting nugget of information. )

Huh. Wow.

( Hmm. ) So, you're not exactly your usual, every day, crusty documentary-type archaeologist, are you?

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three. (video.)

[video]

I am so sorry for the slow, exams and so on!

It's cool.

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[Video]

permavideo whoo

permavideo for tsun tsun

now i have the tsun tsun dere tsun song stuck in my head 8|