exsilium | ☼ 002 [audio]

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☼ 002 [audio]

[Axel doesn't usually feel the need to hide his face--he's gotten good at concealing his thoughts and making sure he doesn't give himself away... but everyone has a breaking point. Waking up to find Roxas' room as empty as Xion's suddenly was a less than a month ago is apparently his. He has to keep reminding himself that he doesn't have a heart, this can't actually hurt, it's only residual phantom pains, leftovers of memories... So why can't he just make it stop?

[There's a beat of silence, and then his voice sort of tumbles into the recording, like he tripped over his own tongue. His tone is a little strained, as if his throat hurts or he swallowed something terribly bitter.]

How often do people come and go from this place? I've noticed there seems to be a lot of turnover. A good number of people leave, a bunch of new faces show up, but sometimes old faces show up too. Is there any sort of pattern anyone's found?

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[He sort of makes a spluttering noise and rubs the back of his head awkwardly.]

Sh-sheesh, Ahiru, I'm a big boy; I'll get over it. It was just... really sudden, is all.

You don't have to be embarrassed, anyone would be sad! Anyways, I'll see you soon.

[Another noise somewhere between a gasp and a croak and suddenly he's really glad he turned the video feed off because his ears are all hot and he's sure his face is red.]

I'm not embarrassed! [Sure you're not.] And I"m not sad, either! [You just keep telling yourself that.] S-so... I'm only doing this 'cuz you said you'd like to.

[He harrumphs and folds his arms then, sort of glowering at the dark screen. It's true though, isn't it? He's not sad or embarrassed... because he can't be. Can he?

[Of course he can't--he's got no heart! You need a heart to feel sad or embarrassed. You need a heart to miss people! All of this is just muscle-memory, he's just going through the motions. He's lost people he cared about before, and so of course his normal reaction is going to be to recreate the things that happened those times. He's not actually feeling these things!

[Hefting a sigh, he nods.]

Sure. Ah... should I meet you somewhere? Or, what apartment are you in? It's prolly faster for me to come to you.

[There's a short sound that almost sounds like a muffled giggle, cut off quickly. She chooses to address the second part of what he's said rather than the first.]

Yeah, sure, that works! I'm in 208. I'll see you soon.

[He caught that giggle, Ahiru, gosh, laughing at his emotional ineptitude, RUDE. But he ends the feed and sits a moment, just staring at his tablet. Well, he knows he can't mope forever. Moping isn't really his style anyway. Ahiru's easy to talk to and has a way of making him smile, so as much as he tends to keep to himself, hanging out with her doesn't seem like a bad idea right now. Getting to his feet and running a hand back through his hair, he slides the tablet into his coat pocket and opens up a portal to head down a few floors.

[Stepping out in front of the door to unit 208, he knocks crisply on the door. Gotta love corridors, they really make traveling quick and easy.]

[She hurries to the door as soon as she hears the knock, a small bag with some food and first aid essentials slung over her shoulder. She offers a smile once she's opened it, looking up high enough to make eye contact.]

Wow! You're really tall. Ready to go?

[He glances down when the door opens, blinking at the unfamiliar face a moment.]

A... hiru? [Well, nobody else would be expecting him, right? He scratches his head and gives a bit of a helpless half-laugh.] I get that a lot. [And then he tugs at a spike of his own red hair.] You make a better ginger than a blond, though.

[A sigh.]

I miss my hair! And my clothes, and, like, everything. But it'll be back to normal soon, or at least they said it would, so... I guess I'll just have to be patient.

[He sort of shrugs.]

S'just the container, right? [He reaches out and taps the crown of her head impulsively.] It's not the outside part that makes you who you are.

[And then he recoils sharply, his hand moving to tangle in the front of his coat before he stops himself and clears his throat. Ugh, he's so thrown off by all this; he needs to get his head back on straight. No more of this sentimental nonsense.

[He drops his hands to his sides, then fidgets and folds his arms over his chest instead.]

So where should we go?

[She blinks, eyes widening in surprise at that movement. It's not the first time anybody's done it, of course, but it's still jarring for a moment.]

...Yeah, you're right. But it's still so weird to be stuck like this!

Outside the city, maybe? But only a little ways out, if we want to be back by dark.

I know it is. I've been shunted into the wrong sort of body once or twice--sort of came with the territory at work, unfortunately... [Shudder. Atlantica. If he never sees a mer-person again... He threads his fingers together and rests his hands atop his head.] I find myself wondering how I lucked out and avoided this little shenanigan, to be honest; maybe I paid my out-of-body penance already before I got here. [Of course, if he knew Ahiru was actually a duck and a magical girl he might say the same for her, for that matter.

[A nod then, and a slightly forced grin.]

Not scared of the dark, are you?

[She pauses, tilting her head (well, not hers, really) as she looks up at him quizzically.]

What do you mean by that? Whatever the reason is, just be glad you got lucky this time!

[She shakes her head firmly.]

No, but I didn't bring anything to sleep in, so we can't stay out all night!

Oh, ah... a lot of what I did required me to travel, so you could say I had to make a frequent effort to blend in with the locals. [And when the locals are merfolk and lions, things get complicated.

[He chuckles helplessly at her sharp protest then, and taps his temple.]

Thinking ahead--an excellent quality. [He shakes his head.] For what it's worth, I wasn't planning on making a camping trip of this. I'm not really a fan of camping anyway.

You really had to go far enough that everyone started to look different?

[A pause, tilting her head.]

I've only been camping once, but I didn't think it was that bad! What don't you like about it?

Yeah... some of the places I've been are downright bizarre. [Halloween Town, anyone?] Luckily the uniform comes with a few perks, you might say. [Nothing like a magical coat that can adapt to size and shape and protect you from Darkness all at the same time.]

Mm? Ah... well, I guess you might say I just don't like how exposed it tends to leave you. Tent doesn't exactly put much between you and an opponent, after all. [He threads his hands together and rests them behind his head.] Besides, the ground's not very comfy. I'd rather nap on a couch.

You should tell me about some of them sometime! I loved hearing about different places people come from.

Well, yeah, if you're camping out because you're in danger I would get why that's true, but it's not like that everywhere! I mean, I guess it's a little dangerous out there if you see a wild animal, but that's not a guarantee at all. At least, I didn't see one when I went with Collette!

[He pauses a moment, looking thoughtful, then supposes it's really not classified information or anything. And there really are some interesting stories to tell. He gives a bitter sort of chuckle.]

Well, the place I come from isn't anything like the place it used to be anymore, unfortunately, but sure, I guess I could tell you about some of the places I've been. [And then he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. Oh, right, people usually go camping for fun, not because they're hiding out on an alien world getting intel.] Oh, you're pals with Colette? [He's talked with her a few times; she seems like a pretty good egg. Has some interesting stuff to talk about, too. Having a mutual acquaintance is always a point in favor.] Either way I don't think we need to plan on camping. If it starts getting dark, we'll head back right quick, okay?

[He folds his arms and gives her a curious look then.] So... do you know this guy whose body you've snatched for the time being?

So it changed a bunch? Your world, I mean. [And it doesn't sound like it was for the better, either, with the way he's talking about it. There's an expression of concern for a moment before she grins.]

Yeah, Collette's one of my friends! She's really nice. Funny, too. [And then a nod.] Yeah, being out there alone at night would kind of creep me out, so heading back early sounds good.

[A thoughtful look of her own, then, trying to think how exactly to describe Oz.]

Yeah, I do! He's... Alright, I guess. Alright enough not to do anything bad while we're switched like this.

You could say that... [It's still there, which is more than can be said for some other worlds, but he thinks it'll probably never be the same again. Hollow Bastion will never be Radiant Garden.] A lot of worlds got kinda screwed up back home. Mine just happened to be one of them. [A shake of his head.] I guess I should be grateful it wasn't destroyed completely, but... [He shrugs then, not really sure where to go from there. He's not really sure he's grateful at all! Maybe it would have been better if Radiant Garden had just disappeared... at least then it wouldn't have become Maleficent's playground.

[But that's not something he wants to talk about. Clearing his throat, he manages a shallow grin.]

First of all, you're not gonna be out there alone. What am I, chopped moogle? And second of all, I thought you said you weren't scared of the dark. [His tone is teasing, but he refrains from ruffling her head like he reflexively would if it were Xion or Roxas walking beside him. There's a part of him that wonders if he's not just viewing Ahiru as a stand-in for them, since she's about the same age (and height). After all, Saïx would have grumbled about how a Nobody can't forge proper friendships anyway. But if he stops and thinks about it, he does enjoy chatting with her, and he be genuinely upset about it if she disappeared and went home... Or, well, at least he would go through the same motions of upsetitude that he was going through with Xion and Roxas' departure.

[Ugh, having no heart is so much more complicated than it should be.

[What does Saïx know anyway, right?

[He snorts in wry amusement.]

Well I wasn't really suggesting doing anything bad. That'd hurt you too, right? So long as you're in that body, you feel anything it does, right?

Mm, even if it wasn't destroyed, something getting messed up that badly is still a shame, especially if it's something as important a world. But, was there a way for you to go anywhere else if your world got bad?

[She hopes he says yes - she knows firsthand how awful it is to be stuck in a world that makes people feel, sometimes, like the bad outnumbers the good. But then she shakes her head, hurriedly, waving a hand to dispel what he's saying.]

I meant, like, us alone together, not us alone apart! Although I guess that doesn't really count as alone... And I don't know what a moogle is. I'm not scared of the dark, either! [But it's not so easy to get over years of being conditioned not to leave the house after darkness either.]

I-I didn't mean me doing something bad, of course I wouldn't do that! I mean he's alright enough that I know he won't do anything bad to me while we're stuck like this!

Ah, well, you know what they say: 'Home is Where the Heart Is', and all that. [In that case, he's really screwed, but that's not the point right now. As for somewhere else to go... that's a little more complicated and isn't something he's quite ready to get into just yet.] Eh, I made it work. The new place wasn't exactly my style, but a roof is a roof, right?

[And then he chuckles helplessly as she blusters a bit. He really does enjoy her reactions to his teasing; having somebody to pick on (good-naturedly of course) did make Roxas and Xion's departure sting a little less. He gives in to the headruffle this time, playfully tousling the thatch of blond atop the head of the unknown boy whose body she was occupying. Well, stranger things had happened.]

Take it easy, Ahiru, I'm just giving you a hard time. I do that: you'll get used to it. [Really, he mostly means it as a sign of affection. If he's not teasing you it's because you're not worth his time.] Don't worry too much, though. If it gets dark before we get back, I've got a few tricks up my sleeves that might come in handy.

Oh, no moogles where you come from? [And here he was starting to think every world had moogles. Maybe there are moogles where she comes from and she just hasn't met any?] They're ah... little guys, about yay big, maybe? [He holds his hands about two and a half feet apart vertically.] Kinda look like little bears, only they have tiny wings and a dorky pom-pom on their heads. Do a lot of merchant work. Really, no moogles?

[Color him surprised.]

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☼ 002 [audio]

voice; private

voice; private

voice; private

voice; private

action (sorry for the wait! i am back from con now and getting back into tags!)

don't worry about it!

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sdhfk i spaced, sorry!

no worries, i thought maybe the account just got removed from the comm or something

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