exsilium | oo1; voice + video

oo1; voice + video

Biggest country in world I know but Initiative don't seem to bother to bring anyone else but me. Too many goddamned Americans and Japanese. [ Says the heavy Russian accent. ] And aliens. And fucking elves. [ For all the emphasis he puts on that word, he doesn't sound angry. More of a 'fuck, what the hell, man?'

... Sorry, elves. He's targeting one elf in particular and he doesn't much care if there's more of them.

Sharp snort. Sound of a lighter snapping on, and the crackling of cigarettes. Then the camera switches on.

Have a pair of heavily tattooed hands, one of them curled around a white stick. Then he tips the tablet upwards until it shows his face, and Nikolai pulls off the sunglasses. ]

You lot ever get tired of talking on this thing? Bunch of stupid questions lately. [ He takes a drag of the cigarette, and blows it at the screen. ] You've all forgotten how to fuck, or something?

[ ooc; for any character with knowledge of Russian criminals, Nikolai's hands carry tattoos that basically says he's one of the worst ones out there. Yeah.

Also, content warnings for sexual assault for the thread with Steph (

controlledvariable). ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ The most ironic thing he said in the entire conversation: ]

Rude.

[Ironic, definitely, enough that Steph chuckles.]

The whole kidnapping thing didn't clue you into that?

[Gently teasing the gangster is a great idea.]

[ Nikolai shrugs. (Yes, Steph, teasing the gangster is an awesome idea. Please stop. Eventually he's going to remember that he's supposed to be pretending to be a vor here.) ]

They say that is not their fault.

[ Bullshit is obvious is his tone. ]

[She hums, it could be either thoughtful or dismissive]

They turned on the machines, I think that makes it their fault.

[Or "bullshit", yes.]

[ A small, thoughtful sound. Then Nikolai's face becomes stone again. ]

You always make small talk with dangerous men, dyevochka?

[And she raises an eyebrow at that, idly tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"No, I usually beat the shit out of them" does not seem like the smartest response in this case.]

Dangerous men are easy, it's the nice ones I tend to watch out for.

[There's still a bit of mischief in her expression, for all that the statement is fairly true, in her mind.]

[ Oh, it is true. Semyon is a prime example. A sweet grandfather on the outside, that's what he is. At least Nikolai is truthful. His hands tell what he is. (No, they don't. They say what he is meant to be, but, well, sometimes the lines are confused.)

Nikolai gives her a crooked little smile. ]

Nothing wrong with nice men. [ He leans forward, just slightly. Beat. ] Was thinking you don't like men at all, but that is not true. Mm?

[So far she's kept her expressions fairly subdued, or purposefully not subdued, but the surprise registers on her face before she can hold it in check. Is he suggesting what she thinks he's suggesting?]

I'm sure I have no idea what you mean.

[Not - annoyed, just sort of confused and a little bit amused at the insinuation.]

[ He freezes the little smile on his face.

(He does like disconcerting people. There's nearly no group more homophobic than the Russian vor, and for someone with his tattoos to suggest it... Nikolai is almost tempted to sound earnest- but no, that will be laying it on too thick.)

Instead, he takes a drag of his cigarette. ]

You have plenty idea what I mean.

[It takes a moment, but she manages to school her expression into something more neutral. She doesn't really care what he might suggest, the only concern is whether it might be a vague sort of threat.

Rather than responding straight away, she leans back in her chair a little, watching him in silence for a moment, then she just smiles a little.]

You seem to think you know a lot about me. Does it matter to you, if I like men?

[Yeah, she's just gonna turn that one around on him, tilting her head slightly to accompany the question and the slight suggestion in it, her expression something like a challenge.]

[ Oh, that's at least two ways to take that question. One of the ways gives Nikolai a dilemma: does he keep up with the homophobic image of the vor, or does he answer it with misogyny, or does he answer it like he wants to?

Too much trouble.

The second way is much easier: ]

You are too young for me, dyevochka. [ He drags out of last word, and grins. ] I prefer women, a bit older.

[Honestly, for all the dyevochka is annoying her, that answer loosens a tension in her chest that she hadn't even realized had been there. The age difference between her and Nikolai is about the same as what as between her and Jim Murray, and that's not something that's easy to think about, even if it never ended as badly as it could have. He's older than Sionis, too, and that's yet another thing she doesn't want to think about.

The way her gaze flicks off screen briefly might give a little too much away, but it's an unconscious gesture.]

Not as dangerous a man as you could be, then.

[She manages to make her lips quirk in an almost-smile, like she's amused at something that isn't very amusing at all.]

[ Poóguanaya voróna sóbstvyennoy tyéni boítsya. The spooked crow is afraid of its own shadow. Nikolai knows the proverb well, and he thinks- the crow will never spook another either.

There's something visceral in feeling warmth beneath your hand, in looking into someone's eyes and knowing you're almost - just almost - fucking a corpse.

Nikolai turns his head. He flicks the cigarette to the side, and takes a deep drag. ]

They tell me: in London prisons, prisoners kill men who fuck little girls. [ He lets out the smoke, letting it obscure his eyes. ]

For vor, young girls better, easier to be sure they are virgins. [ The smoke starts to clear, but Nikolai doesn't help it along. ] Me? I think too skinny.

[How still she goes betrays as much as any other reaction could; her expression just shut down completely, except for the tension in her jaw, and unseen, her hands curl into fists.

She doesn't know what to say, because all she can think about is Murray's hands on her arms, the way Sionis talked to her, like a threat. But she needs to say something, otherwise she thinks she might drown in the silence.]

Don't need prisoners to kill them.

[The men who fuck little girls, in London or otherwise. She will kill them herself, she realizes, if she got her hands on them.

It's not a threat, not against Nikolai, but it was the first words that came to mind, a reassurance to herself that there are ways she can stop men hurting children. Maybe she should care about Bruce's rules, but one thing she's never regretted is finding out that her dad killed Murray, regardless of his reasons for it. There are some people who shouldn't be left alive.]

[ Ah.

He knows a girl in Abax, with golden hair. She speaks Russian with slight American accent, she calls herself Illyana (he calls her- Katya, at some point). She fights well, and she says she is a part of a team, a team that kills bad people.

Nikolai almost smiles. But he is balancing on a knife's edge, in between 'speaking' and 'not speaking', trying to find a lie that will not sink a knife into his heart (because, oddly, he enjoys speaking to this girl).

He smokes to delay time. ]

Maybe not. [ He lets out the ribbon of smoke. ] But British law is soft and won't kill anyone.

[ Stubbing out his cigarette on the ashtray near his elbow, Nikolai keeps his eyes on her. ]

You can fight, da?

[Part of her hates that he takes so long to reply, but another part is glad for the time to force herself to be calm, to lock all those thoughts back up where they belong, instead of letting them get too close to the surface.

It feels like an open wound, fingers digging into it (and that's a pain she knows, and another thought that gets pushed away like everything to do with Sionis), but she's too stubborn to let it tear her apart. She regrets what she said, the suggestion, even if there's a difference between a suggestion and having all this dragged up. Still, she should have known better. And still, she's grateful when he asks a question that pulls her thoughts away from Murray and Sionis and other little girls who've been through worse than she has.

Does she fight?

She should say 'no', like a good little Bat with a secret identity, but she's tired of being called dyevochka.]

Better than most. [Simply, a statement of fact rather than a boast, and although she's tense, but there's a hint of expectation in her expression, waiting to see what he might have to say.]

[ It's a cagey answer, and that tells him more than she might think it does. Nikolai misses London all of the sudden; misses the darkness of the vor because there, children might still be innocent, that they know nothing of the atrocities that people are capable of. In London he can walk out of Semyon's restaurant and see people like Anna, nice people, ordinary people who know nothing about the filth that he's coated with, who avoid him out of fear instead of looking at him in the eyes because they already know darkness and they have faced it before.

In a place like this- in Abax- somehow the children are no longer children. They are broken things instead, darkness already corrupting them, and it's almost enough to make him despair because of how little soaking himself in blood has done. But Nikolai has never tried to save the world. Just one person is enough. Most of the time.

(It's funny that he thinks this way, because Nikolai has never been an innocent child himself. He started stealing at an age younger than she is now, simply because it's the only way he can think of to find something to eat. At her age he's already been to prison, and that's even marked on his body. At her age he knows the cruelty of people; knows that even teenagers can be rapists and murderers if they are given enough incentive. Survival is always enough incentive.)

He lingers on the silence. ]

Even gzah who know how to fight still needs to be careful. [ He's giving himself away and he knows it, but it is too easy to break a mask built over decades, and somehow he knows he still wants to remain human. ]

Maybe machine not that random.

[ An offering to change the subject. (It disturbs him too.) ]

Edited 2013-03-10 16:28 (UTC)

I'm always careful. [Somehow, she manages a grin, sharp and flippant, and it's so Robin that it hurts as much as all the memories do. She manages it because it's what Robin might say, because she might not be as skilled as Bruce, or Tim, but she knows how to slip in and out of roles. She's good at it, too, but she that it's too fragile right now, knows the Nikolai will see how fake it is, and see how pained it is. But she can't bring herself to care.

It's a surprise to her that she reached specifically for Robin at a time like this. Or maybe it isn't, when the brightness of Dick and Jason has been making her feel sick to her stomach with the knowledge of what's coming for both of them.

But wearing that grin feels like something shattering, as if she can let herself fall apart and play at this, instead, even if she can't work out whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. She even laughs, though it's a little darker than a Robin laugh should be.]

It's shit if it's not, they should've grabbed someone who'd swallow their bullshit.

[All that anger and tension of a moment ago can be redirected, after all.

(Later, she'll find things to hit until her knuckles bleed, and shatter in that way so she can pick up the pieces and get on with living.)]

Edited 2013-03-10 17:08 (UTC)

[ Nikolai's mask isn't one of happiness; that is, at least, something he can be grateful for. ]

Stupid people don't make good soldiers.

[ He is also much practiced at hiding. ]

No? [he quirks an eyebrow, and she ignores the way her skin crawls with how wrong this attitude feels now, but it's better than seeming vulnerable.]

I figured they just got used for canon fodder.

[There is a hint of - something, anger, a little pain, under the mocking way she says that. Gang wars aren't the same as other wars, but they still have the same principles, and she remembers what canon fodder looks like once it's served it's purpose.]

Cannon fodder don't get to come back angry and kill bastards in charge for letting them get killed.

[ He quirks a smile at that, because it's true. Nikolai knows well enough what cannon fodder is. He knows collateral damage. He is both and neither at the same time.

Mob wars don't just involve mobsters. An unfortunate fact of the world. ]

They do if they don't realize what they are.

[She's seen people angry at the Initiative, yes, and heard about a few incidents of violence, but overall people seem to be rather accepting of their circumstances. They'll fight and kill (which still leaves her with a bad taste in her mouth) and die for the Initiative without questioning it.

After finding out the Intiative had sent children on missions, she'd been ready to kill the bastards in charge, as it were, but had decided it better not to make enemies of people who have so much control over her. But that doesn't mean she's accepted this.]

Or if they think they're dying for a just cause.

[That ones a little trickier, personally, but the conflicted feelings she has about it isn't betrayed in her tone, or her expression.]

[ He lights another cigarette to delay time. ]

You think it is worth dying for people around here? [ A sharp smile from behind the smoke. ] For people who are scared of you and who don't ask before making you fight for them?

[Her mood is settling a little, but she still laughs at that, only sounding a little bitter. The whole point of vigilantes is to put their lives on the line for anyone, regardless of whether they're scared of her, or whether they make her fight.

That doesn't really help her with responding to the question, though.]

There are worse things to die for.

[Flippant, and pretty blantly avoiding an answer, even there's some truth in what she says.]

Da. [ Just as flippantly: ] Plenty of worse things to live for as well.

[ It is easy to die; far too easy. But living- living is difficult. There's too much meaning. At least in death, there is oblivion. ]

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TW: reference to sexual assault

this entire thread needs warnings. i am so sorry for this tag.

it's okay :c but yeah those warnings are... still here

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