(no subject)

[heartsink]

[the name associated with this post/account and all her subsequent comments herein (or elsewhere) is "Haruka Takahashi"]

I used to have dreams like this.

Well, not exactly like this, I mean. Nothing so specific. But you know how it goes, don't you? Girl dislikes her situation, the way her life is going, the way people treat her, wishes she were anywhere else but there. Then a strange thing occurs, and there's this whole other world that needs her, specifically her. This place sees her for who she is, sees her strengths and the change she wants, and it tells her that she's needed to save this other world. Protect it. She's the only one who can. Like a hero, a ruler, or something else. That part changes pretty easily, I think.

There's a lot of stories like that, too, of course. I don't think I'm the only one who's had a dream like that. We all have our little unhappinesses. And sometimes the new kingdom, she loves it so much she never wants to go home. Sometimes being there just makes her miss everything she left behind, and she does everything she can to go back.

Of course, when I say I used to have dreams like this, that would mean I woke up from them, too.

I suppose this is like that. In a way. It's been almost three weeks now, but I guess I'm still trying to get used to it, that's all.

What were your dreams? Did you have them? Or do you, still? Whatever they are, or were, I hope you keep in mind that you can't trust them. There's no Truth to dreams.

Comments

permatext

[imusntrunaway]

You don't dream anymore?

[heartsink]

A little yes, a little no. If you mean the literal kind, I don't get much sleep at all, but I have nightmares more than anything else.

But, if you mean the aspirations for the future kind, then no. I don't have dreams like that anymore, either.

[imusntrunaway]

You don't have someone or somewhere to go back to?

[heartsink]

You believe we'll go back?

[imusntrunaway]

I don't know.


The answer doesn't matter to me, anyway.

[heartsink]

Because you have nothing to go back to? Or because it seems the same, wherever you are?

[imusntrunaway]

It's both.

[heartsink]

And your dreams?

[imusntrunaway]

I don't have any. [All he has are nightmares. And he still doesn't know what to aspire towards, either. Without Evangelion... he's just some teenage boy with baggage. He's a nobody. Useless.]

[heartsink]

[:')]

Do you want them?

[imusntrunaway]

It doesn't matter.
I don't think I'll find one.

[heartsink]

What do you do here?

[imusntrunaway]

I'm supposed to fight, like everyone else.
I don't know if I will.

[heartsink]

If you have no reason to fight for them, don't.

[imusntrunaway]

I guess...

What about you?

[heartsink]

Of course I won't. There isn't a single reason why I should.

[imusntrunaway]

You don't believe the Initiative, then.

[heartsink]

Even if they're telling the truth, so what?

[imusntrunaway]

I guess you can look at it that way.
I don't think they care what we choose.
Either way, we'll be sent on missions.

[heartsink]

I'll make sure to pack a deck of cards.

[imusntrunaway]

You might want to bring more.
The last mission... lasted for a week.

[heartsink]

Ew.

What was it?

[imusntrunaway]

It was Black Rock. We had to rig an election.
After that, we were sent to another place. I don't remember its name right now.

[heartsink]

Black Rock?

[imusntrunaway]

It was in western America. In the past.