birdhousesoul: Anders is healing someone and his hands are glowy! (healing)
Anders ([personal profile] birdhousesoul) wrote in [community profile] exsilium2013-02-15 12:26 pm

open message to the network - video, with document attached

By way of some odd notes about feet, it's come to my attention that yesterday was some sort of a sex holiday. That is, a holiday about sex, not a holiday from sex.

This morning, then, would be the morning after.

In a week or two, you should know whether you've picked up any unpleasant souvenirs of the holiday. Please see the attached document for some information on the subject, unless you are a small child.

[ ATTACHMENT: HELPFULINFORMATION. It's a comic entitled "Capt. Veedee-o and Ms. Wanda Lust in VD CLAPTRAP." Anders doesn't know to mark it not-safe-for-work. This is his work! ]

If you are a small child, you don't know what I'm talking about, and that's as it should be. You ought to go do something fun that doesn't involve listening to grown-ups discuss boring things on the network. Run around! Do you know how wonderful it is that you've got the freedom to run around outdoors whenever you like? I'm telling you, you really ought to take advantage of that. Don't take those freedoms for granted.

If you're a healer or a doctor of any sort, and you are not a small child, the transport clinic could probably use your help. The coming month may bring an explosion of nasty rashes or worse. Contact me, or our co-director Ashraf Salib, or Adrasteius who doesn't want to have a title. We'll put you to work, whatever it is you do.

Oh, and since Merrill's gone home ... [he won't admit he misses her, but: ] I suppose we could also use a receptionist. That's what it's called, yes? We didn't need receptionists at my clinic in Kirkwall. People would just come right in shouting about their wounds, and I'd see to them eventually, when I wasn't hands-deep in something else. Apparently having more than one healer in this Transport clinic means we need to be better-organized, therefore having someone in the front room is nice and useful.
wilder: (what is this I don't even)

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[personal profile] wilder 2013-02-15 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Wait it was a holiday about sex?

[Huh. Guess he did it right]

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weapabilities: (squinty)

[Video] I feel like I should apologize.

[personal profile] weapabilities 2013-02-15 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
That's when humans sling DNA at each other right?

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myownbestfriend: (I'm just here for the shoes.)

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[personal profile] myownbestfriend 2013-02-15 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Where did you find that?

[Kind of horrified, ngl.]

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wolfmd: (Getting into trouble. Or out of it.)

[personal profile] wolfmd 2013-02-15 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[He's trying so hard to be serious because it is a hugely serious issue but damn that comic is hilarious. Chuckles keep escaping.]

That's... [hahaha] That comic left out a few things. But it's a start, especially since there are so many here from different times and places!

[He has to pause and laugh for a little longer.]

I'll have to put something together to fill in the gaps. They mentioned contraceptives but didn't go into detail. That's from before the discovery of HIV too.

[And here all humor vanishes. His close call with Connor is no laughing matter.]

I should discuss HROF with the other clinic staff too, just in case.

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onemoredeath: (sweeeeet)

video;

[personal profile] onemoredeath 2013-02-15 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Give him a moment, he is laughing about this and trying to control himself from saying something not-so-nice concerning the Western holiday. To be honest, it would be Christmas where all that applied in Japan, not this day. This day was chocolate day for him. ]

It would also depend on where you come from. [clears his throat, but you can hear the laughter in his voice. And see it on his face - you know, that little boy expression of sheer glee.] Where I come from, it is all about girls giving the men they like chocolates. A month later, we give the girls we like chocolates. For us, the sex holiday is Westerner's Christmas.

Mind, we have much better information regarding safe sex than that moldy thing.

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strategic_guile: (Caution is the name of the game)

[Audio]

[personal profile] strategic_guile 2013-02-15 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[If Blaine sounds like he's on the verge of laughter this entire time, it's because he is.]

That's definitely what most people hope the end of their Valentine's Day will be filled with, but it's not the reason for the Holiday.

permaaudio;

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noble_nate: (Maker's Breath!)

[personal profile] noble_nate 2013-02-15 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[What even...]

Anders.

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isinganyway: (❝ Ring the bells that can still ring /)

voice.

[personal profile] isinganyway 2013-02-15 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I would be of use, if you could use me. I've no skill tending wounds but I've managed my lord father's household in the wake of my stepmother's death. A small household, 'tis true, but a household even so. And I have a skilled hand at all manner of fine stitchery, if it is not too bold to say.

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has_a_cult: (Yikes!)

video

[personal profile] has_a_cult 2013-02-15 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Well that was certainly both horrifying and informative.
Edited 2013-02-15 18:55 (UTC)

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ino: (Giggle.)

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[personal profile] ino 2013-02-15 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[she's giggling at this post]

Nice public service announcement.

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bloodspeaker: but it can get worse. (and it seems ugly)

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[personal profile] bloodspeaker 2013-02-15 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[ADRASTEIUS IS RIDICULOUSLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS SEX-TALK.] Light help me, I didn't even think about the possibilities of people coming in here with venereal disease. Then again, I do my best not to think about such things as often as possible.

[ugh. uGGhhH. NEW TOPIC.]

You're far too worried about titles, by the way.

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medicating: (Default)

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[personal profile] medicating 2013-02-15 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I'm a doctor. Just tell me where to show up and when.

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[personal profile] ex_cashcow493 2013-02-15 07:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Um, excuse me.

[ Saber's voice is barely above a whisper. ] That document fails to mention if there are any dangers with transferring prana between two parties intimately.

[ Hi, I'm from an eroge. ]

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have_hat_will_travel: (^_^)

[personal profile] have_hat_will_travel 2013-02-15 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Sadly, disease removal isn't among my learned spells.

Also, that video should probably have a warning and a kid lock on it, just saying.

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itsmagicallydelicious: (Little white sheep--)

[text]

[personal profile] itsmagicallydelicious 2013-02-15 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh my god, Saber, he is disowning this canon.]

anders i think youve misunderstood a few things
the foot notes notes about feet were probably a prank
and there are ways to electronically filter on the computers

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emptysword: (pic#5180821)

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[personal profile] emptysword 2013-02-15 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you sure you're supposed to talk about that in a public network?

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dusk_and_dawn: (Naked time!)

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[personal profile] dusk_and_dawn 2013-02-15 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
You can catch disease from intercourse?

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redheadcarrier: (Awkward)

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[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2013-02-15 10:17 pm (UTC)(link)
why would you post something like this?
spongetastic: (Ri~ght)

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[personal profile] spongetastic 2013-02-15 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
It wasn't all about sex, but you have the right idea.

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[personal profile] queenoftherock 2013-02-16 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
It's great to know our health concerns haven't changed over the past thousand years.

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sharpe: (Unto the very walls of hell)

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[personal profile] sharpe 2013-02-16 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He's laughing right in your face, not even bothering to hide it. ]

Healers and doctors, eh? Sounds better than 'surgeon'. So what can you if people come ta you with the clap or such like?

[ He's genuinely interested. ]

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salvagedsoul: (// we are the same)

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[personal profile] salvagedsoul 2013-02-16 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh... was it really?

No one mentioned that in response to my inquiry.
inutile: (♙ 011.)

[personal profile] inutile 2013-02-16 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't listen to a word this man says.

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inutile: (♙ 017.)

[personal profile] inutile 2013-02-16 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[Nageki sounds highly!! offended!!!]

That may be the most horrendous excuse for literature I've ever seen.

In addition, I think you misunderstood the purpose of that holiday.

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[personal profile] ladyofrivendell 2013-02-17 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
[Well, glad she was completely oblivious to the meaning of that holiday. Or that it had even happened at all. Not looking at the attached document, the less she knows about all this, the better.]

I would be glad to offer my skills as a Healer to the clinic.

[Although she knows nothing of these sexual diseases because, haha, time periods.]

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gamora: ( guardians of the galaxy ) (Default)

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[personal profile] gamora 2013-02-17 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you flarking kidding me.

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