open message to the network - video, with document attached

[birdhousesoul]

By way of some odd notes about feet, it's come to my attention that yesterday was some sort of a sex holiday. That is, a holiday about sex, not a holiday from sex.

This morning, then, would be the morning after.

In a week or two, you should know whether you've picked up any unpleasant souvenirs of the holiday. Please see the attached document for some information on the subject, unless you are a small child.

[ ATTACHMENT: HELPFULINFORMATION. It's a comic entitled "Capt. Veedee-o and Ms. Wanda Lust in VD CLAPTRAP." Anders doesn't know to mark it not-safe-for-work. This is his work! ]

If you are a small child, you don't know what I'm talking about, and that's as it should be. You ought to go do something fun that doesn't involve listening to grown-ups discuss boring things on the network. Run around! Do you know how wonderful it is that you've got the freedom to run around outdoors whenever you like? I'm telling you, you really ought to take advantage of that. Don't take those freedoms for granted.

If you're a healer or a doctor of any sort, and you are not a small child, the transport clinic could probably use your help. The coming month may bring an explosion of nasty rashes or worse. Contact me, or our co-director Ashraf Salib, or Adrasteius who doesn't want to have a title. We'll put you to work, whatever it is you do.

Oh, and since Merrill's gone home ... [he won't admit he misses her, but: ] I suppose we could also use a receptionist. That's what it's called, yes? We didn't need receptionists at my clinic in Kirkwall. People would just come right in shouting about their wounds, and I'd see to them eventually, when I wasn't hands-deep in something else. Apparently having more than one healer in this Transport clinic means we need to be better-organized, therefore having someone in the front room is nice and useful.

Comments

Text;

[wilder]

Wait it was a holiday about sex?

[Huh. Guess he did it right]

video

[birdhousesoul]

There were two holidays, it would seem. One was about liberation from the United Earth. The other was about sex.

I would think the occasion of a country's liberation would inspire merrymaking that might include sex. Perhaps both holidays involve sex.

[Video] I feel like I should apologize.

[weapabilities]

That's when humans sling DNA at each other right?

[video - Anders has to look up what DNA is. he may also need to ask other people in the clinic]

[birdhousesoul]

I'm told that DNA is involved in the secretions we swap, so I think you're right, yes.

[video]

[myownbestfriend]

Where did you find that?

[Kind of horrified, ngl.]

[video]

[birdhousesoul]

In the file cabinet, behind some other things. It's not high art, I'll admit. More like the sort of thing you might see scrawled on the wall behind a tavern -- but that did seem suited to the occasion.

[wolfmd]

[He's trying so hard to be serious because it is a hugely serious issue but damn that comic is hilarious. Chuckles keep escaping.]

That's... [hahaha] That comic left out a few things. But it's a start, especially since there are so many here from different times and places!

[He has to pause and laugh for a little longer.]

I'll have to put something together to fill in the gaps. They mentioned contraceptives but didn't go into detail. That's from before the discovery of HIV too.

[And here all humor vanishes. His close call with Connor is no laughing matter.]

I should discuss HROF with the other clinic staff too, just in case.

[video]

[birdhousesoul]

[ Anders looks thoughtful. ] HROF? Is that what you were talking about, when you said I shouldn't let that vampire fellow drink any Tainted blood?

video;

[onemoredeath]

[ Give him a moment, he is laughing about this and trying to control himself from saying something not-so-nice concerning the Western holiday. To be honest, it would be Christmas where all that applied in Japan, not this day. This day was chocolate day for him. ]

It would also depend on where you come from. [clears his throat, but you can hear the laughter in his voice. And see it on his face - you know, that little boy expression of sheer glee.] Where I come from, it is all about girls giving the men they like chocolates. A month later, we give the girls we like chocolates. For us, the sex holiday is Westerner's Christmas.

Mind, we have much better information regarding safe sex than that moldy thing.

[video]

[birdhousesoul]

It has not got any mold on it. I looked.

Why do you have a sex holiday on a theological feast day?

[Audio]

[strategic_guile]

[If Blaine sounds like he's on the verge of laughter this entire time, it's because he is.]

That's definitely what most people hope the end of their Valentine's Day will be filled with, but it's not the reason for the Holiday.

[video]

[birdhousesoul]

Oh? Then why's the holiday V.D.?

[noble_nate]

[What even...]

Anders.

[birdhousesoul]

Yes, dear?

voice.

[isinganyway]

I would be of use, if you could use me. I've no skill tending wounds but I've managed my lord father's household in the wake of my stepmother's death. A small household, 'tis true, but a household even so. And I have a skilled hand at all manner of fine stitchery, if it is not too bold to say.

video

[birdhousesoul]

We'd be willing to teach you. [ He transmits a link to a map of the Initiative Hold and its general vicinity; the location of the clinic, quite near the Hold but not inside it, is marked on it with a crude circle worthy of MS Paint. ]

video

[has_a_cult]

Well that was certainly both horrifying and informative.

video

[birdhousesoul]

Was it? Then my work is done.

[video]

[ino]

[she's giggling at this post]

Nice public service announcement.

[permavideo]

[birdhousesoul]

[ He believes you, you know. ] We try. It's not a pretty topic, but someone's got to broach it.

video;

[bloodspeaker]

[ADRASTEIUS IS RIDICULOUSLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS SEX-TALK.] Light help me, I didn't even think about the possibilities of people coming in here with venereal disease. Then again, I do my best not to think about such things as often as possible.

[ugh. uGGhhH. NEW TOPIC.]

You're far too worried about titles, by the way.

permavideo;

[birdhousesoul]

Titles are dignified! Even my cat has a title. You've probably heard us calling him 'Pounce' around the clinic, but his full name is Ser Pounce-a-lot. He merits every syllable, I assure you.

Look, I know the venereal diseases aren't pretty to look at, but if we don't take an aggressive stance, people will just scuff their feet and hope the problem goes away on its own. That way lies unchecked contagion. And crabs.

[video]

[medicating]

Yeah, I'm a doctor. Just tell me where to show up and when.

text

[birdhousesoul]

[ He transmits a link to a map of the Initiative Hold and its general vicinity; the location of the clinic, quite near the Hold but not inside it, is marked on it with a crude circle worthy of MS Paint. ]


[[ ooc: would you like to thread a conversation, or shall we handwave it since he's signed up on the clinic directory? ]]

video;

[ex_cashcow493]

Um, excuse me.

[ Saber's voice is barely above a whisper. ] That document fails to mention if there are any dangers with transferring prana between two parties intimately.

[ Hi, I'm from an eroge. ]

video;

[birdhousesoul]

[ Anders does not know any better, and asks quite curiously: ] Transferring prana? I take it that's something more complex than swapping spit.

[have_hat_will_travel]

Sadly, disease removal isn't among my learned spells.

Also, that video should probably have a warning and a kid lock on it, just saying.

[birdhousesoul]

What are your learned spells, then?

I haven't got any videos, sadly, only that leaflet. I think if child soldiers are resourceful enough to figure out the vocabulary, they're entitled to the information. It's not as though we're presenting the contents in a positive light. Giving away candy with every horrible rash.

[text]

[itsmagicallydelicious]

[Oh my god, Saber, he is disowning this canon.]

anders i think youve misunderstood a few things
the foot notes notes about feet were probably a prank
and there are ways to electronically filter on the computers

oh fine text

[birdhousesoul]

What are you talking about? The foot messages were very clear. It's a sex holiday, for sex. Are you saying there isn't a sex holiday on the fourteenth day of February?

[video]

[emptysword]

Are you sure you're supposed to talk about that in a public network?

[video]

[birdhousesoul]

I just did.

video; - no he's not actually naked at this time

[dusk_and_dawn]

You can catch disease from intercourse?

[permavideo]

[birdhousesoul]

Sadly, yes. I wish I could say it weren't so.

text

[redheadcarrier]

why would you post something like this?

oh fine, text

[birdhousesoul]

I believe I've already stated my reason for doing so. Have I left anything unclear?

text

[spongetastic]

It wasn't all about sex, but you have the right idea.

text. anders is so slow at texting

[birdhousesoul]

[ Perhaps people are shy about making videos of themselves discussing a sex holiday. With a sigh, Anders goes about the painfully slow process of two-fingered texting. ]

I'm told it was also about selling things. Sex, and selling things. Brothels must have done brisk business.

[video]

[queenoftherock]

It's great to know our health concerns haven't changed over the past thousand years.

[video]

[birdhousesoul]

I'm not sure how to take that, really. Are you saying you'd expected the eradication of disease?

video;

[sharpe]

[ He's laughing right in your face, not even bothering to hide it. ]

Healers and doctors, eh? Sounds better than 'surgeon'. So what can you if people come ta you with the clap or such like?

[ He's genuinely interested. ]

video;

[birdhousesoul]

[ Laughing would be fine, but laughing in his face? Really, there doesn't seem any call for that. Anders raises an eyebrow. ]

We'd heal it. If you don't believe in magic, or you don't think well of mages, there are pills you can take.

text;

[salvagedsoul]

Oh... was it really?

No one mentioned that in response to my inquiry.

[inutile]

Don't listen to a word this man says.

[inutile]

[Nageki sounds highly!! offended!!!]

That may be the most horrendous excuse for literature I've ever seen.

In addition, I think you misunderstood the purpose of that holiday.

[birdhousesoul]

Oh, no one ever said it was literature. True, it's not ideal for the purpose, but I thought it might get more attention than a flat-out warning. You know what would be better than an illustrated story? A good ballad. Something really catchy.

[video]

[ladyofrivendell]

[Well, glad she was completely oblivious to the meaning of that holiday. Or that it had even happened at all. Not looking at the attached document, the less she knows about all this, the better.]

I would be glad to offer my skills as a Healer to the clinic.

[Although she knows nothing of these sexual diseases because, haha, time periods.]

[video]

[birdhousesoul]

Serah Celebrian! I'd meant to check in on you. Of course your skills would be welcome. More importantly, how fares your daughter?

[ He has no idea. ]

video;

[gamora]

Are you flarking kidding me.

video;

[birdhousesoul]

I should hope not. As the old saying goes, if you're flarking anyone, you're flarking everyone that person has ever flarked.