exsilium | 10 △ VIDEO; looking fine and augmented

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10 △ VIDEO; looking fine and augmented

[ Considering Adam spent the last two weeks as his old self, that is, the person he was before this and that incident, he takes it remarkably well. The memory of actual, feeling hands is still fresh in his mind, although he hadn't even been able to appreciate it much due to it having been nothing special at the time. It's easier to compare now, however—flesh to metal, feeling to unfeeling, weak to powerful. And for once, the lingering emotion of something having been taken from him against his will doesn't flare up again.

It's different. Much like a disabled person revisits the memory and place where everything happened and changed to maybe, finally, find some closure.

Things happen.

You don't always get a say in it. All you can do is deal, adapt and progress, because ultimately, that's what life has always been about. ]

***

I see everyone's quick to mope or make apologies. Excuse me if I refrain from joining your ranks this time, seeing as I came out of this with a few cute girls, free meals and a videogame—all things I didn't ask for, but I'm still not sharing. The game, maybe, if you ask nicely, but it's somewhat dated. So unless you can appreciate classics, don't even bother.

[ HI everyone did you miss this butt he's sure you did. ]

Oh, and here's your general PSA, directed at no one in particular, especially not the guys around the precinct: get into the habits of locking your tablets if you're just gonna leave 'em lying around. The next time I find one I'm gonna post the entirety of its porn folder to the network tagged with your name. And before you go, oh, that silly Adam Jensen, of course my porn folder is locked and hidden slash I'm an innocent virgin who doesn't even have a porn folder, honest--

Don't make the mistake of thinking that's gonna stop me.

[ Private to Samus ]

You free tonight?

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( Collette protests to the being picked up, mostly because now she feels like some sort of weird birdy luggage. )

< Woah! Hey now, that's just handsy! >

( She makes herself laugh, not struggling against him because she knows his augmentations and it'd feel strangely worse to have him try to cart her off as a girl. )

< No, it wasn't. It's also not that fair to make crazy assumptions about people! So I'm sorry, and you totally owe me an apology too. >

( She cranes her head enough to eye him with one impassive raptor eye. It's always a fierce regard, because that's inherently part of the bird. )

< I don't take drugs. Except when I need to, and those are prescribed by medical doctors after extremely bothersome procedures like spinal taps. Oh man, those things can hurt! >

( She doesn't have to force the lightness in tone that comes after her serious tone for her announcement of what she doesn't do. She does reach out with her beak to pull at whatever of his is in reach. Tug tug. Is he paying attention and not just hearing what he thinks he's afraid to hear? )

[ Well, she kind of is weird birdy luggage right now. And he's listening (and feeling relief), although he's not looking at the bird; he would really prefer to wait with the conversation until they're inside.

Well, he can hold off on an answer, at least. Back in her room, he places the bird package on the bed, and closes the window. ]

I'm gonna leave the room for a bit. Call me when you're done.

[ Yeeep and he does as he says. ]

( She's on the bed. Collette glances around her room, shakes her head, then waddles to the edge and hop-glides to the floor. Let her see... she probably needs shorts to be decent, and her sweatshirt back to fight off a chill. She wonders if Adam thinks she's seriously naked when she morphs.

It makes her giggle, such an absurdity. Nonetheless, once she's dragged the appropriate clothing back by her chair, she demorphs. Past that, it's a few minutes until she calls out: )

I'm more decent than I was!

( She supposes that was what Adam wanted to hear, though in entering, he'd be witnessing her climbing back into her chair. )

[ Well what's a guy supposed to think?

He waits, patiently, until she calls and considers that his cue that it's safe to enter now, so he does. If he was angry before, it's mostly dissipated by now. ]

Why did you do that? Just to scare me?

( Quizzical, then clamping a hand over her mouth to stifle involuntary laughter. )

Huh? No way! Sorry, but that's not how I roll.

( She lets her hands fall away from her face, still smiling a little. )

I needed to get out and clear my head. The timing just sucked.

... You could say that.

[ Because honestly... that really scared him for a number of reasons, and it led to a dumb argument with Samus on top of it, though he knows that was also bad timing on his part because he has other issues and problems when it comes to her.

He moves to sit on the bed with a sigh. ]

And did you manage to clear it?

( Watching him with curiosity, Collette opts to answer indirectly: )

Is what we're doing here right?

[ Wow. What brought that on? The drugs? How should he know she's thinking about stuff like that lately; she doesn't seem the type. ]

I don't know.

[ At least he's honest. ]

Guess it's something that everyone has to decide for themselves.

( She really isn't. That she is now is an indication of things piling up on her mind. )

However it is we need to decide? Like, with whatever we need to know to make those decisions? Or whatever we need to believe?

Is that what's been bothering you? What brought that even on?

[ Because thinking about stuff like that gives him a headache, especially since he cannot even hope to find any definite answers. At his core, Adam's really a simple guy--he'd much rather concern himself with problems that directly relate to him, and ones that are palpable, so to speak. ]

In the end, what you choose to believe is also what you know, and vice versa. I don't think you can draw a clear line between the two. Sometimes you start to question your own belief and therefore what you consider truth, but that's only natural. Means you're thinking and observant and open to new ideas even if you may not like them, and that's important.

So, don't stop thinking. As for what's right and what's wrong, you can't generalize. It's something you have to keep asking yourself and the answer may be a different one each time. For every person involved. [ He smiles, weakly. ] And that's why I'm not a cop anymore.

( Collette's pretty similar at heart, though she started to shift some of her views when necessity had made it prudent. She could acknowledge reality, even if she dwelled on the cheerier side of it most the time.

Right now, she listens to Adam, watching him as he speaks and nodding at the end. Her smile is slower in return, but warm. Genuine. )

I think that's the best advice you've given me to date.

( And it settles in her mind something she's been slowly resolving to do. Just like that, she perks up, losing most of that meditative air. )

Police work was too cut and dry for you?

Is it? Following my advice is generally a bad idea, I think.

[ Which is something he wouldn't usually admit out loud, because everytime people tell him how worthless he is Adam responds with aggression rooted in frustration and self-doubt. ]

I'd still really prefer it if you didn't do anything to make me worry. I'm sorry if I said anything that upset you.

[ He's glad whatever happened doesn't seem to have left much of a dent, as that would really weigh him down. He slowly shakes his head at her question. ]

I tended to do things my way. Little conflicts, at first. One day there was an incident involving a boy about your age. Enhanced enough to cut through my squad like paper--and crazy enough to do so because of drug withdrawal symptoms. [ He pauses, thoughtfully. That damn incident ruined his entire career. And it hadn't even been worth it because no one got saved in the end. ]

My superiors ordered me to shoot him. I refused, and quit before they could fire me. They passed the order along to my best friend at the time, and it fucked him up. Our friendship, too. We both knew taking out a kid was wrong, but one believed it necessary and right to do so, anyway. I ran away from the responsibility and never spoke to him again after that, pissed as I was. And although it's been years in the past now, we're still thinking about it. Still blaming each other.

[ ... or maybe not. It's hard to tell with Wayne. Adam had been determined to make amends, start anew like he'd promised, but after sentencing himself to death that kinda became a moot point. ]

You see, sometimes, there's just no straightforward answer. It would make life so much easier.

Life's not meant to be easy.

( Collette postulates, having listened to Adam with absorption. Part of his past -- personal histories were a draw for her, something to piece together more and more of who a person had been, and who they might be.

Did one weigh in on the other? She knew it had to. She's seen shining examples of it all around since getting back from New Mexico. )

But I don't think that's all bad.

( Just a fact behind it all. )

I'm sorry about your friend. About the kid, too.

Well, no use thinking about it all the time.

[ It's important to keep the past in mind, but living there won't do you any good. Ironic, considering who he is and what they're supposed to do here. ]

You gonna turn into a bird and fly away again sometime soon?

( Collette grins. )

Of course! Gotta live in the present. As for the bird... no promises! You never know when you need an eagle's eye perspective on a given situation.

( But the playful tone is miles away from whatever frustrations drove her earlier. She wasn't planning on running away. She'd figure things out.

She needs a few better answers, but those are ones she can find on her own, too. )

[ Sigh seems like her grin is contagious, and Adam really can't stay mad at her.

And now one of his black fingers pokes her forehead. ]

They gave me so many things, but no wings, unfortunately. I might have liked that. I dream of it sometimes.

[ Mostly how he crashes and falls. ]

You're lucky.

If I could show you what it's like...! Adam, it's the most amazing thing in the world! There is nothing, and I mean nothing, better than how it feels when you fly.

( She'd batted at his finger ineffectually, positively alive with energy as she confesses this reality. )

I'd go through everything a hundred, thousand times over, just to have been able to fly once.

[ It still worked, and the hand drops away from her face. That does sounds pretty cool and it's hard not to be jealous. ]

Can't turn into a giant flying dragon or something? We have so many of them here. Then you could take everyone for a ride.

[ ... in the most literal sense. ]

Not yet!

( Though she grins at Adam. )

Want to help me ask?

Ask? What's there to ask about?

[ CAN'T YOU JUST TURN ]

If I can use their DNA or not. It's kind of rude to acquire someone without asking if you don't need to do it without asking.

( Nope. Though it'd be nice if it was that simple. )

[ Hahaha well okay, that hits a little close to home. DNA stealing is sort of iffy, yes. ]

... And when you say you want me to 'help', I take it you don't mean me punching them in the snout.

( She snorts. )

I meant more in the use your words and ask way, yeah. Though if you do end up punching a dragon in the snout, make sure they're not going to eat you!

I don't think I'd taste very good.

[ Metalbits and all. ]

Sure, I can help. Though I didn't get the impression that you'd have any problems talking to people about anything.

( She shrugs, smiling. )

Maybe I just like company.

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10 △ VIDEO; looking fine and augmented

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NOW PROPERLY PLACED

I WAS WONDERING

JUST YOUR DAILY DOSE OF ISHFAIL

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