video; dated to after everyone gets back from uruguay

[ex_bandai157]

( well, that was - something. fifteen is not an age he'd ever wanted to experience again for a number of reasons, all of which stand out vividly in mind right now. there was so much he didn't know then, driven by a raw need for revenge and to get his answers, still hanging on mr maverick's every word. he wasn't happier then but things were simpler then, more cut and dry, and he was more certain of things than he may ever be now.

he sighs before he can stop himself, offering the feed a long-suffering expression. )

I'd like to thank everyone who helped me ( there's a slight stress on the last word ) in the last two weeks as I was getting reacquainted with living here - especially since I wasn't particularly easy to deal with, at that age. Presumably, everyone's aware that disruptions like this are difficult to predict or control, but if anyone would still like an apology for my behavior, I can't say it wouldn't be deserved.

Comments

but you have one (okay i could too but hush)

[whatsupcroc]

( Collette doesn't mind. The last hug she gave anyone was to a crying girl mourning the loss of her mother and sister at the hands of terrorists.

Collette hugs back with an expression of feeling she doesn't know how to put into words. )

I've missed you.

( She admits in a smaller voice, before they let go. )

Not that I need people to be around or anything, I'm totally fine on my own, but I've missed you, Barnaby.

( It's her way of trying to make it not sound like a big deal; dismissal that it's needed, understanding that it is what it is; honesty tied in with a lie to make it okay. )

gosh

[ex_bandai157]

( it's an odd feeling he straightens back up with. being missed isn't - usually the kind of thing anyone's had reason to apply to him. he's usually the one doing all the missing, or else convincing himself he isn't. there's a wry set to his expression as he speaks. )

I would've expected you to prefer the company of those your own age.

( don't think he hasn't noticed the boys, collette )

[whatsupcroc]

( She smiles, brushing hair back off her face. )

Yeah, for dating. But you only date one person at at time, unless you're Adam, and I like my friends being the people I made friends with in the first place. You were cute at fifteen, but it's not the fifteen year old Barnaby that I've trained, or been scared for, o r celebrated a birthday with.

( Then, asked with the easy curiosity of someone not terribly concerned with the answer, yet curious nonetheless: )

By the way, is that Chia pet still living?

[ex_bandai157]

( that still gets an eyebrow quirk )

I mean friends, too. People always need friends around their age who can understand their situation and how they think - better than anyone else.

( he knows what a difference that can make, even if it took a while before he was able to make a close friend. but at the second question, he sighs a bit. )

Not after my fifteen year old self accidentally activated his powers on it.

[whatsupcroc]

You really think it's people my age who're going to understand either of those things?

( For a moment, her face shows a calm sort of regard. Like she's considering how much Barnaby chooses to recognize when it comes to her; when it comes to the mentality she has, a mixture of teenage (as it should be) and older (as it's needed to be).

Kids her age never quite identified, not before the Animorphs, and certainly not afterward. There's a difference in struggling against restraints and having to be responsible for yourself in ways you didn't want to out of necessity since you were younger. You can resent something, and still realize and accept its necessity.

She smiles again, breaking off that eye contact. People are people, and she's used to being dismissed for age, percieved ability, or apparent personality. It usually suits her. Barnaby's not even so far off mark, in his own way. It was part of what made Caesar important to her, after all. )

Geez! Hahaha, that had to be rough, being a teenager and having to deal with controlling powers like yours! Glad you made it out okay in the end. I'm going to miss that Chia.

( She shook her head. )

Poor plant animal, may you rest in pieces!

[ex_bandai157]

( he raises his eyebrows rather than answering; not precisely backing down, but neither refuting her point, either. what he thinks is: still, and it's for this reason. there's a lot he doesn't know about her world, troubling bits and pieces he's neither ignored nor dwelled on, but he remembers - haha, very well now - being fifteen years old and feeling like there was a wall dividing him from other people, normal people, either because of being a next or being an orphan or not caring about what the others cared about because it seemed so trivial and pointless and stupid. he's projecting a little too; in his case, he'd thought there was an adult who nevertheless supported him and understood, only that adult - like everyone, really - had an agenda. he wouldn't suspect it of himself or jensen or edgeworth or samus, but -

- it's all too easy for a child, no matter how worldly they actually are or think they may be, to be used. maybe even no matter how good someone else's intentions are.

but he lets the moment go when she does, shrugging. )

Hundred Power is uniquely destructive in the wrong hands - or inexperienced ones. ( sigh ) It manifested early for me, but it was still many years before I'd mastered control.

[whatsupcroc]

You must have felt pretty good about yourself once you felt in control.

( She'd feel like that'd be the case. She knows control over herself is important to her -- it's part of what's so intensely distasteful about the Yeerks to her. )

[ex_bandai157]

It was less a matter of feeling good and more a matter of being less of a problem, honestly.

( apparently people don't like you much when you're prone to accidentally breaking things )

[whatsupcroc]

Heh, right, most of us don't have to worry about how destructive being clumsy will be. Still...

( She looks up at him, opening her mouth to speak, closing it again. There's something she wants to ask... and she's not sure she will. )

Did you want anything to drink?

( She finishes lamely, knowing it was too obvious that she'd been about to speak to lapse into a really comfortable silence. )

[ex_bandai157]

( his eyebrows quirk again because yes, that was too obvious. rather than asking, he just says: )

No, I'm alright.

[whatsupcroc]

Figured I wouldn't be a good hostess if I didn't at least ask. Though don't let me keep you, if you've got places to go. I like spending time with you -- but you're a busy guy.

( And she's almost used to that, in a different way. )