exsilium | [003

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[003 | Text]

How many people celebrate Christmas here? Or Hanukkah? and on that note, is anyone doing anything on the 25th?

[Private to Peter, much later]
hey. can I ask you some questions about something? a medical something.

[Action for Jesse]

[She shows up at his apartment without sending notice. Partly because she wasn't sure she was going to go there at all. Claire feels a little awkward after the masquerade but they do have something they need to do. Although she remembers how freaked out he got when she asked if he wanted to see her ability, she thinks she's doing him a favor in helping him figure out how and if the anti-powers setting on his gun will work or not. It's also selfish, too. The idea of being able to feel normal for a little bit is massively appealing to her. Plus, there are certain people ~~Syla~~r she's considering using it on if worse comes to worse.

Knocking a little timidly at the door, she hopes he's home. She also hopes this isn't going to be too weird.]

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[Now he looks down, turning the beer bottle back and forth between his hands. He doesn't agree that it's okay just because she'll heal from anything. But he's also not going to lecture her about it.]

Yeah. I mean, I understand if you don't... wanna see it.

[Tense, long pause.

She eventually breathes again like she forgot how to. Claire relaxes back on the couch again, leaning back, tracing patterns in the condensation of the beer bottle with her fingernails.]

Sorry. [She laughs a little distantly.] I keep doing this every time we hang out.

Just wanted to let you know that I, uh, care, that's all. [MORE TENSENESS.] Like I'm sure you've heard a million times. [More hollow smiles.]

You don't have to be sorry. I know. It's just... I mean, you gotta know I'm not gonna stop. Ever.

[And now she actually means the quiet smile on her lips. She chances a look at him.]

I'm not going anywhere. ..Not that I exactly have a choice but that's really not the point.

[Another long pull at the beer. Woo. Tipsy as hell now. Not that she can put that feeling into accurate words or anything.] And just like you say that, I can say I'm going to choose not to believe it.

So, deal. [Now she's giving him a false confrontational look. Look how tough she is Jesse. Look at that face. She is serious but she's also just teasing so hard.]

[He'd love to take this lightly and shrug it off, but he can't. When he looks at her again, his discomfort is plainly written all over his face.]

I mean it, though. I'm gonna keep using. Even if you try real hard to fix me, it's not gonna work. And you gotta... you just gotta know it ain't your fault. There's nothing in the world that can fix me. You should know that before you go promising to stick around.

[Okay. FINE THEN.

Claire frowns. Then she looks a little offended, and then there's this blush at the top of her cheekbones appearing for a very different reason than the last time he saw the color there.]

I'm not-

[BRIEF FUMING and NOT ACTUALLY SAYING WHAT SHE MEANS OR FEELS.] This was a mistake. [And now she's standing and discarding the half-empty bottle on his coffee table.]

[He's not at all surprised by that reaction. He's resigned to this. He stares down at his bottle for a second, then sets it on the table next to Claire's before slowly getting to his feet.]

[MORE FUMING. She pauses before starting to march to the door. Then she whirls around again on him.]

I get that we don't know like anything about each other, but what you said I was doing was not what I was doing.

But I think you're just so used to giving up that-

God, I'm not judging you, Jesse. If you even knew half of the things I've-

[Hmmm. Claire who is a constant bubbling volcano of anger and pain under the influence of alcohol for the first time and getting pissed off and upset. NOT EXACTLY A GREAT COMBINATION.]

You treat me like a human being that you might actually enjoy being around, so, no, I'm not trying to fix you. Jesus Christ.

[Okay. He expected yelling, but he didn't expect those words. He stands there for a moment, mouth agape while he tries to find words of his own.

It turns out he only has two:]

I'm sorry.

[She shifts on her feet as if she's going to bolt anyway. But she doesn't. She just looks to the side and crosses her arms.]

For what? [She snaps a little harshly. Then tries to make up for it with a semi-apologetic and very brief glance.]

For... For saying that. I mean...

[He stops to run his hands over his face, trying to make sure he doesn't say the wrong thing again.]

I just don't wanna hurt you. You know? 'cause that's what I do. People expect me to be something and I'm not and they just get hurt. So I don't want you to... I don't know. I don't wanna lie to you. I don't wanna just tell you I'll be okay when I won't be. Ever.

[It takes more than a moment for her hard and defensive expression to soften. But it does.

She's looking down at the tops of her shoes and also trying her best not to say the wrong thing again.] ...That sounds a little familiar. [She admits quietly. Maybe a little bitterly.]

Look. You don't need to protect me. I know I have no idea what the hell it is you're dealing with.. With the addiction and everything, but, like, I'm just-

I'm really not good at this. But I'm trying.

...And I appreciate the honesty. More than you know.

[Jesse nods slightly. Acknowledging what she's saying, even if he doesn't agree with all of it. She does need to be protected... from him. He's too weak to push her away like he should, though.

Instead, he turns about halfway back toward the couch.]

You wanna sit back down?

[She pauses, still looking tense. A shrug is her only answer after she crosses her arms and looks away. But she isn't leaving. She just feels kind of dumb now and wow okay so alcohol does this thing she's feeling right now.

Maybe there's a reason she can't get drunk. Because if her temper and insecurities aren't already blinding enough..

Eventually she sighs and runs her hands once, straight back through her hair. A weak, nervous almost-smile on her lips.] If we can just pretend none of that happened for at least a few hours that would be great. [She tries a near-teasing glance in an attempt to mask her insecurity.]

I don't even know what you're talking about.

[Jesse's all too glad to play along. He gives her a little smile and drops back into his seat, patting the cushion beside him.]

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[ action ] ....nnnnope totally didn't forget about this thread. >.>

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