exsilium | 001 | Audio

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001 | Audio | Crowley

Well isn't this just nice and cosy? Not exactly where I want to be but isn't it always so delightful when someone intervenes with your life without any permission and dumps you in the middle of war to play bloody tin soldiers?

[There's a slight huff of frustration.] Look, I'm not really up for the whole fighting side of things, I much prefer watching from the sidelines. Blood is always so hard to get out and it's rare to find a descent dry cleaner in a warzone. I'm afraid you've definitely got the wrong bloke here. Forgive me if I don't plan to stick around.

So, if anyone out there can kindly point me to the nearest exit, I will be most grateful. If not, I'll settle for the nearest place to get a descent drink.

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And what do you know about this host? Are they an actual physical being you've seen or more like one of those omnipotent aloof pricks that never comes to the party?

[Frodo's starting to frown: he may not think too well on being whisked away without any warning at all, but this Man is impossible rude about it]

I have only seen what they have presented - Big Folk such as yourself, who speak on the behalf of the whole. They seemed pleasant enough considering the circumstances.

[the last is bit pointed: for not knowing much about them, this Man needn't refer to them so rudely]

Yeah, brilliantly pleasantly, aren't they? They just picked us up, stuck us here, tossed a weapon along and let all hell come loose. And not in the fun way. But I'm such they're stand up blokes, just a little misunderstood.

[The sarcasm was pretty heavy in his tone. He can't help it, it seems a little maddening to him.]

At least they threw a Christmas party, I suppose. Have a few drinks and some merriment before you're slaughtered on a battlefield. Charming.

Those under the leaders seem pleasant. [they cannot all be lumped into the same group, in his opinion] I do not agree that they should have done what they have, but they sound desperate and in need.

[Frodo stumbles a little over the unfamiliar word "Christmas". Does he mean the fall festival? Yule?]

I hope it won't come to such, but there are a good deal of strong warriors among the Transports.

So? Just because someone's back into a corner doesn't mean they can do whatever they bloody well please, does it? Sounds like total bollocks to me.

[The only people that could do this kind of stuff was him. No one else.]

Well as long as the 'warriors' hurry up and win, I don't care.

No, of course not. But should we ignore people who are suffering or need help? Only help ourselves?

So you would prefer to sit by and let everyone else risk their lives.

Yes! Of course we are. We do it all the time, every day and every second. All those dying starving children in third worlds? They're not getting any better but that doesn't stop us from having a lovely materialistic life. That whole defending the innocent nonsense is a load of sentimental rubbish.

Let's be blunt here, no one helps anyone unless it benefits them.

[Frodo's look has gotten positively icy as the Man goes on. His cousins came with him into this doom and so had Sam; there certainly was not personal benefit at all for them to come!]

You have to be the most unpleasant Man I have ever met.

I am afraid you have a good deal to learn about people. There are all sorts of folks; brutes and orcish types, types that may not care all that much about others' troubles as long as it doesn't come onto their doorstep... but there are also those that are more selfless than many deserve.

[remaining polite to this Man is trying in itself. Frodo is strained, but manages. Belatedly.]

Good day.

[his video goes black.]

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001 | Audio | Crowley

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