06 △ VIDEO

[neveraskedforthis]

[ Video--coming from Adam's tablet for once, and not his retinal enhancements. it shows him, obviously in his messy apartment, and obviously... different from what one might be used to. he's neither properly dressed nor his usual stoic, composed, monotone self.

but most notably, the lenses of his shades--which are mounted to his head--are retracted. his eyes are visibly artificial. here's the usual gravely voice: ]

...And they keep dragging more and more people here. Or is that the machine malfunctioning again? Can't be sure anymore.

Anyway, hello. My name's Adam Jensen and I'm -- [ insert vague, dismissive gesture here--his hand, too, is artificial and looks like it's made out of black metal. ] ... who the fuck even cares. I'm the local oversized can opener. Hi.

[ if it wasn't obvious before that he's drunk, it's sure as hell now. ]

Given the uh, premise under which you all arrived here as well as the popularity of thought-provoking surveys lately, let's talk about a topic each of you surely can contribute to with a story or two. Since I couldn't help but notice that we're quite a miserable bunch of misfits. Exceptions prove the rule by the way.

[ pause, during which he reaches off screen... for his smoke. ]

So, broken dreams. There's a pretty catchy song on them by Green Day which I can only recommend. But before you scurry off to find it, why don't we share with the class why we're all so damn bitter, and not only since we ended up in this shithole. Though I guess the shithole made it worse, in some cases. I don't know. Getting it off your chest might have a soothing effect, or something.

[ another pause, and he seems pensive for a moment. he might be able to offer alternative treatment methods for your troubles which may involve punching ahem. ]

Here, I'll start. I was planning to get married not too long ago, start a family. I had the perfect girl, a decent job I liked and paid well, and then--then science happened.

[ a dry, humorless chuckle. ]

Gotta love science. Your turn.

Comments

[neveraskedforthis]

[ pretty much, yeah. then again, edgeworth, you come from a world where it's legit to interrogate a parrot. ]

Maybe, maybe not. Your court system is already weird, it'd fit.

[bratworth]

It's not 'weird' just because there's some differences between it and the one with which you're accustomed. In any case, inebriation would only make things worse. I don't want to have to put up with such behavior from other people while I'm trying to work.

[neveraskedforthis]

You've just never tried it yourself, did you?

[ BOOOOOZE VIRGIIIIIIN ]

[bratworth]

Not to the point of wanting to show off my intoxication, no. [ One or two glasses of wine, with meals. He's a big guy, he can handle it. ]

[neveraskedforthis]

No company while drinking, then? You're missing out. I'll have to take you to a bar someday, you know, one of those places for big boys.

[bratworth]

I never said that I drink alone; I meant that there's usually dinner involved. I have no particular fondness for bars. [ Not to mention he's not old enough to enter them in his home country... ]

[neveraskedforthis]

[ ... oh, baby edgeworth. ]

Why? Ever been at one?

[bratworth]

... Once.

[ Which strangely enough isn't even a lie, and no, he doesn't care to repeat the experience. ]

[neveraskedforthis]

And that was no fun? Clearly you went there with the wrong people, then.

[bratworth]

Perhaps.

[ Considering he'd gone alone, that one time, that was definitely 'the wrong people'. ]

Not that I'd want to go with you.

[neveraskedforthis]

[ so tsundere!! ]

And why is that. I didn't think my company was that bad.

[ bad yes, but not THAT BAD... ]

[bratworth]

Would I have to listen to this pessimistic drivel?

[neveraskedforthis]

Only if you want to. I can talk about bunnies, too.

[bratworth]

I'm not interested.

[neveraskedforthis]

That's cold, man. Don't like bunnies?

[bratworth]

Not particularly.

[neveraskedforthis]

Dogs? Birds?

[bratworth]

I do like dogs. Not enough to want to discuss them with you, though.