001 | audio

[doubleoohbaby]

[The sounds of outside filter through the network, distant with little to be heard beyond the faint rustle of the wind, but there nonetheless. A distinctive clink-fwoosh of a lighter disrupts anything further, followed by the slow crackle of burning paper and tobacco and a satisfied inhale and steady exhale. When he finally speaks, it's with a tone that lacks interest.]

Well, isn't this quaint. Doubt I would have believed it were I not seeing it with my own eyes. At least the woman greeting me was persuasive enough. [You can practically hear the dirty little smirk.]

Even so, I'm not quite sure how I feel out of my home and sent on my merry way towards college kid dorm rooms. Or rather, I'm perfectly aware of how I feel about it, just the words I'm looking for aren't for public ears.

Still. Judging by the archives on this thing, there's plenty of you about who know this world, so come on, share your wisdom with an outsider, would you? One can never know too much.

[A pause as he inhales another lungful of smoke, eventually adding with a thoughtful exhale:] Oh, and don't patronise me with the basics. I'm curious, not stupid.

Comments

[doubleoohbaby]

I suppose you've tried it enough times.

[An eye roll. He's already pretty sure he's got this guy figured out. It's not all that hard to pick up on basic characteristics.]

[implying]

Oh, certainly! And with great success! You might be a bit... ah, soft about the edges, but I'm really quite fond of you humans.

[doubleoohbaby]

Soft as opposed to...?

[implying]

Well, [ oh god awkward, can he do this without being too insulting ] we tend not to have any excess weight, is all.

[doubleoohbaby]

Are you suggesting I'm fat?

[implying]

Oh, not in the slightest!

[ pause... ]

For a human.

[doubleoohbaby]

[Wow.

W. O. W.]

Just be glad I'm not a woman.

[implying]

Oh, I am! [ BIGGEST SMILE how could you ever be annoyed at this?? ] That charming jawline would just never work on the fairer sex.

[doubleoohbaby]

[Pause.] You're not getting laid tonight. Not by my hand, at any rate.

[Just so they're clear.]

[implying]

Oh, please, as if you weren't reading straighter than a ruler, my dear. [ He reaches to pat his forearm, still smiling. ] I understand, never you fear!

[ understand that he'll have to be subtle and patient, anyway. ]

[doubleoohbaby]

Good. I would hate to lead you on. [He totally doesn't actually care.

Also, what, stop touching him. At least this time James just accepts it, stuffing his hands in his pockets.]

Where are you taking me, then?

[implying]

Nowhere far! [ He drops that touchy-hand and points with the other, to a small place at the end of the block. ]

There, do you see? It's small, and not quite up to my standards — but it's quaint.

[doubleoohbaby]

And what are your standards?

[Heading off in that direction because he wants alcohol. More alcohol. He's already had several but Adam kind of punched that out of him.]

[implying]

For establishments, or company? They're, ah, a bit different. [ And when they get to the door Vanadi will, of course, pull it open for James. Such a gentleman. ]

[doubleoohbaby]

[James just shoulders through in an attempt to make it look like he was totally wanting to go first anyway. That door wasn't held open for him, he just pushed his way to the front.]

Establishments. Although now I'm curious about company.