Initiative Announcement #007; Voice;

[initiatesnpc]

[ Oh, look, a voice post from the official Initiative frequency — it's probably all kinds of important and official. ]

Oh, boy, have we ever got a treat for you guys. [ …If it's so important and official, why does the speaker sound slightly drunk? ] You guys're all slacking with those weapons we whipped up for you, don't even pretend otherwise. Slackers. Sheesh, lead a horse to a laser cannon, but you can't make him fire it…

Anyway, that's alright. It's alright! We whipped up something else for you. You guys're gonna love this one. State of the art, alright? VR is old news, but wait till you see what we did with it. Sometimes I even impress myself, which isn't easy, because I usually know just how genius I am.

[ It's at about this point that the recorder picks up another voice in the background. The words are indistinct, but the tone is inquiring. This new speaker sounds way too professional to ever be drunk. ]

—No, I wasn't talking to you. Anyway, Transports, we're thinking… a week. A week? A week. Sounds good. We'll have this baby up and running in a week, and you'll love it. Money back guarantee if you don't.

[ The voice in the background is getting closer, words can be picked out. ”…talking to the Transports? Doctor, are you—” ]

I'm still not talking to you! [ ”Doctor, early release of information on this project was expressly prohibited!” ] Oh, calm the hell down, kid. I got this. [ And more fully into the mic: ] You're gonna love it, guys. You'll see.

[ And the broadcast ends, amid harried background protest. ]

Comments

[onemoredeath]

Women can be easy as well. You just have to know what they want.

[initiatesnpc]

They're a whole different kind of coding, as far as I'm concerned.

[onemoredeath]

You do have to flip the code around... But most of them here are looking for the right husband material, not the bedwarmer material. So sad.

[initiatesnpc]

Say, uh, if you don't mind my saying, you don't strike me as very gentlemanly.

[onemoredeath]

And I think you may need a little more drink. It sounds like you're getting sober.

[initiatesnpc]

That's what I tell myself at least twice a day.

[onemoredeath]

Just twice? It sounds as if you are slipping.

[initiatesnpc]

The trick is to stay blue enough that you only need to refuel twice, see.

[onemoredeath]

Ahh, so you do not carry a bottle with you. Very interesting.

[initiatesnpc]

No way, guy. That'd just be unprofessional.

[onemoredeath]

Not even a hip flask?

[initiatesnpc]

Hey, I'm pure-pro, alright. Through and through, cleeeeeaaaann and professional.

[onemoredeath]

How strange. I suppose there are people like that even in these times.