01. vid

[howherolls]

[ the video feed flickers on, and a young man sits at a desk. On it, there's a paintbrush, a small canvas and a set of watercolors. None of them have been touched, but the young man's fingers keep flexing around the brush. ]

I'm...not sure why I'm here. [ he slowly clears his throat, staring not at the feed but at the brush ] My only guess is they saw something they liked on the footage. [ a finger twitches against the brush ] But...I am pretty sure I have other ideas this time.

[ he looks up ]

That person you saw in the Games and the interviews wasn't me. Not the me that I remember, anyway. So if that's what you were expecting, I apologize. I'm not here to fight. You don't want me fighting.

[ there's the sound of a sharp crack as the paintbrush snaps in half. It begins to reform itself ]

My name's Peeta Mellark, and I'm going to sit this one out.

Comments

[howherolls]

I think it could be.

[ and he stills. it's just dawned on him ]

Katniss...

[effective]

[She stills when he does, not sure what that means]

What, Peeta?

[howherolls]

[ his hands start to tremble. It's not the violent, spastic convulsions that signal a flashback- it's clear he's fighting something down ]

I'm something they can take away from you.

Real or not real?

[effective]

[She takes a hold of both his hands, locking her fingers around his wrists in the hope that reminding him of the cuffs from the Capitol will help him keep a hold of things now like they did then.

She doesn't want to answer this. Doesn't want to tell him that yes, people will hurt him again if they want to get to her. but she can't lie to him, not anymore.]

Real. It never won't be real. I'm sorry.

[howherolls]

[ he almost takes comfort in the gesture. But his mind can't shake the thought that her thumb is right over his pulse. That if she wanted to, she could cut his artery

he closes his eyes ]

And I can't let go of you.

[ his heartbeat picks up. He can almost hear the thrumthrumthrum against her finger tips ]

It looks like we're stuck here.

[effective]

[She also doesn't want him to hurt her :'D] No. We'll move on. We have to. [Welcome to a world where Katniss is trying to be a therapist, Peeta]

If I let go of you, are you going to hit me?

[howherolls]

[ this is a dark, dark world ]

No.

[ he mostly believes it. The look on his face is almost pleading ]

I don't hit you. Not after...

[ he closes his eyes ]

I won't.

[effective]

Okay. [She doesn't let go immediately though, taking a deep breath before she actually gathers the courage to do it] There.

[howherolls]

[ slowly, he brings his hands to his lap. he folds them. takes a deep breath


he stares at her ]

[effective]

[She can't help herself, smiling a little. He's really here. And not killing her!]

Johanna and I went outside the other day. It was raining. I think she threw up after, but she did it. [See Peeta other people can get better ;3; And Katniss is helping them]

[howherolls]

[ his gaze goes nowhere in particular and he remembers the sounds of screams ]

The lights kept flickering on and off.

[effective]

[Oops 8|]

It's over now, Peeta. That's what I meant before. About moving on.

[howherolls]

[ his eyes slide to her ]

That's how I'd know it was her turn.

[ they lose focus again ]

Then it went to the next cell.

[effective]

Peeta. [She's saying his name, hoping that it'll help him remember who he actually is. She takes a step back] You're not there any more.

[howherolls]

After a while you don't notice. It all runs together. [ he flexes his fingers ]

Ten at first, then nine. Then eight.

[ he looks at her, and the words are a little strained ]

You told me that part was real.

Then seven then five then four.

[effective]

What-- [part, she wants to ask, but stops herself just in time. Her face twists, clearly upset] I can't help you, Peeta. But I can't - I can't leave you by yourself like this either.

[howherolls]

Three...two..one.

[ he exhales and Peeta hunches over, resting his elbows on his knees and squeezing his eyes shut ]