video

[theguideless]

[ok look his life is just going to be him smacking the wrong buttons if he keeps abandoning this thing for days/weeks at a time — this is really his own fault.

so here you go, a worm's eye of Martin seated in a hallway, a little damp from all the rain, but looking a great deal less like walking death. a nice change. the odds of him spinning out into melodramatic self-pity parties are shockingly low.

he's doing his very best to stick to his word and not exchange words, but he's somehow convinced himself that doesn't cover reading or listening to the people he's acquainted with...hence finally turning this darn thing on.

and stupidly turning on video feed.

he's staring at it dumbly for a little while, starting to squint and wonder why nothing's showing up. you can count the second the lightbulb clicks. his face reddens and his mouth sucks into an unspoken OH. he bristles, quickly snapping the computer shut. END FEED.


responses will be icly delayed about an hour/two hours RESISTING THE SIREN SONG TO COMMUNICATE.]

Comments

[theguideless]

They shoulndt

[deadelfwalking]

What does that matter? It's out of your control, regardless. Your sole decision is how to respond to those that offer care to you.

[pausing, a shrug.]

I can tell you, from experience, that many do not react well to being pushed away.

[theguideless]

[a delay.]

I dont know how to make it better

[deadelfwalking]

You're worried about causing pain, correct?

[theguideless]

Yes

[deadelfwalking]

You cannot avoid it.

[theguideless]

Unless im not there

[deadelfwalking]

False. If you are cared for, these people you're avoiding will hurt in your absence. [he knows all about that one, too.]

[theguideless]

[this silence is not out of ignoring him but more of

well

Martin doesn't know what to say to argue it

and he wishes it could just magically be him being right :(]